4mo DS crying at bedtime

[goldenbaby]

My 4mo DS cries so much when we take him up to our room for bedtime. As soon as he realises it is time for bed (ie we pull the blinds down) he starts crying and doesn't stop until he falls asleep - usually in about 30-60 minutes. My husband or I hold him the whole time he is crying and we have never let him CIO or CC, so there is no unpleasant association of bedtime for him. We don't leave the room until he is asleep.

The only way I can avoid this happening is if I BF him to sleep, but I have been trying to avoid doing that for the last month or so. I'm trying to follow The No Cry Sleep Solution methods and as part of that instigated a calm, consistent bedtime routine. That is when all the trouble started! I try to feed, change, read a book, into sleeping bag, lullabye and settle to sleep. I've persevered because I figured he needed enough time to get used to the new routine and eventually he might start realising that bedtime was nice. However, he is not improving.

Has anyone else had this? Any ideas of what I can do to improve the situation? I just feel so bad that every day ends in a lot of screaming when he is so happy and pleasant the rest of the time!

He's only 4mo - I wouldn't worry about feeding to sleep, wait a couple of months before trying to teach self settling although there will be plenty to set things back!

He might well just be so tired that he cries. Your routine sounds like quite a lot - well it would have been too much for DS who was a right live wire as a baby.

Do you do the routine in low lights? We have bath then into bedroom with a low light for the rest.

Thanks for quick reply! I'm not trying to get him to self settle - I know that's definitely too ambitious! He gets held/rocked/pacifier or whatever he wants. He just gets so upset!

To be fair, we rarely get through the routine because he starts crying as he realises it is bedtime. (He likes playing in the room at other times of day).

I do dim the lights and pull the curtains. I think that's how he knows it is time for bed!

Thanks for quick reply! I'm not trying to get him to self settle - I know that's definitely too ambitious! He gets held/rocked/pacifier or whatever he wants. He just gets so upset!

To be fair, we rarely get through the routine because he starts crying as he realises it is bedtime. (He likes playing in the room at other times of day).

I do dim the lights and pull the curtains. I think that's how he knows it is time for bed!

In that case I'd just go for an early bedtime - 15 mins can make a huge difference, then feed to sleep. I promise you that he won't be feeding to sleep forever! At 7 months DS could feed then be put down awake. This happened in phases until he got to about 14 months when he stopped falling asleep on the boob unless knackered and would prefer being put down awake and me keep my hand on him. Now at 18 months I can leave the room with him awake.

I remember putting myself under so much pressure to stop BF to sleep but looking back I don't know why I bothered!

Our 4 month old DS has been doing this - howling after his bottle, and we have been sitting in the rocking chair with him, shushing, and patting, and rocking and eventually he would fall asleep after crying so much. Three nights ago, we decided it was time for him to learn to self settle, our twin DD's did from birth (and help fromSCBU!) so we have fed him in his bedroom in the chair, and put him in his cot. He has lain there for about 10 minutes and then dropped off to sleep and gone on to sleep through each night (he still has a dream feed). We now think he was crying and trying to tell us "leave me the hell alone, I want to go to sleep - leave me alone!" Have you tried just putting him in his cot and seeing what happens? You might be surprised.

He's either over tired, and wants to be left alone, or he is scared of you leaving him.

I would put him down in his cot, and sit quietly with a hand on his stomach so he knows you are still there.