5 YO & bad dreams... any advice?

[davidtennantsmistress]

DS keeps having bad dreams atm as we call them.

At the minute he's telling me it's about me wearing an invisable cloak & going off in a space ship & him being left behind/unable to find me.

Another one is me turning into a monster. :(

atm i'm PG so a little hormonal (bit shorter tempered possibly through lack of sleep). He's had a week with nanna (home of a night) as it's holidays, and DP has been away for the last 2 weeks - with another 3+ months to go. he's also going away with XH tomorrow for 8 days to grandmas/his dad's GF's house.

Slightly worried about the cause of bad dreams, is it a phase? is he unsettled & making sense of things at home? he's being very clingy again to me especially, in the way of wanting me to go to the loo with him/sort his bottom out/count so he can hear mine (or mum's) voices.

Any thoughts/ideas?

I have a 5yo DD and just had twins. Sounds to me like hes feeling left out or forgotten. My DD gets nightmares too and in them i seem to always be running away and leaving her... :(
But its just a dream and i wouldnt make a big deal out of it especially infront of your DS. Are you able to spend some special time with him doing fun activities or just take him out to the park?
It might help him feel better.

In these situations you have to remember hes just a child and try to see things from his point of view. Maybe because he hasnt spent much time with you he misses you?

I remember going through this as a child. I think seeing scary things on tv was the cause for me.

holiday - yes that's what I was wondering tbh - that he's just after the reassurance & time etc, once he's home we have 3 days back at school. then 4 days together so we're mainly doing beaches, visiting the castle etc & various other bits & pieces, he does really like our special days - however not sure if that's as I let him pick what we do. (he has expensive tastes lol)

fergold - this is what I was thinking when it happened before (about 18 months ago) althou that would co inside with my starting working again, I stopped all dr who's all cartoon network etc, however XH still see's fit for him to watch it (programmes like ben 10, transformers & star wars) - perhaps it's time for me to request it's not watched? (incidently he's also allowed him to watch dark crystal and labarinth which I found out about after the event - DS is quite a sensitive boy so we watch the home alones/cbbc & things when he is allowed the tv on his channels.

any other thoughts?

Have you tried hoovering the bad dreams away before bed time? It performing a ' bad dreams ceremony' or giving him a toy that keeps him 'safe' from bad dreams?

We also have glow in the dark stars, glowing planets and a night light.
They a have bad dreams from time to time, probably anxiety, it's normal.

I'd also have a word about the films. There are plenty of films that are exciting but not scary for that age group.

NT - I tried today with his dad - he's completely disinterested in DS having them - i've requested that he moderate his viewing given DS is a sensitive boy.

He's got a ted & blankey he still has at bed time - he used to have a torch (one of those thomas light/lamp/torch things, but we found he was messing about still with it 2 hours after bed time still awake. we did say good night to all the bad things and hello all the good dreams previously maybe we need to do this again? (he went through a phase of saying he could see ghosts & shadows in his room)

Yup do it again. Actually it does give you a chance to Hoover the bedroom before lights out, so it's win/win.

I guess you could ask your DS if he could request some different things yo watch. If it comes from him, your ex might listen. Otherwise it might help to get him to chat about what be' has watched and emphasise it's not real, even poke fun at it.

very true, he's gone away this week with a selection of DVD's for his little player car thingy so hoping XH takes note of what's in there - g force, home alones, alvin & the chipmonks - (althou home alone being his favourite atm - boys & the humour lol) fingers crossed.

I found movies like home alone made my dd think burgulars would come into our house!
We used to tell her to send her naughty dreams to daddy and he'll beat them up - this seemed to work well too.

My ds (now 6) suffers from nightmares and night terrors. It got so bad that we had to see the doctor and health visitor.

The things she suggested were:

Giving him supper eg weetabix just before bed so he wasn't hungry through the night

Turning the tv off at least an hour before bed

Reducing video game use

Seriously rethinking what he watched on tv/dvd

The thing that made the difference to him was changing what he watched on tv and making sure he didn't watch tv near bedtime.

He wanted to watch Ben 10 as that is what his peer group were watching but it frightened the pants off him too. He was actually relieved when I put a stop to it.

The other thing she told me to do was to discuss what he watched with him eg people can't do that in real life can they? Those are just drawings though aren't they - they are not real? If someone did that in real life they would get into a lot of trouble etc.

These tactics worked for my ds - good luck with yours as it is very exhausting for all concerned.

aww holidays bless her - DS seems to have the opposite effect - he gets quite excited laughes hysterically & thinks he's superman who can do all of those things as well.

Carrott - I might well have to start doing this - althou his tea time is usually at about 5 bedtime is 6.30 - however thinking about it both night's he's had cheese with his dinner (be it on a pizza or on toast - in my defense though he'd had proper lunches at dinner time) it could be that I guess?

yes that's why i've stopped the ben10 tbh he was watching it but being frightened - now and again he'll still ask to see if i've changed my mind but I haven't at all - the one programme usually at bedtime (if it's not one of the disney moneys (dumbo/robin hood etc sort) on cinemagic, is the kids detectives where they have to look for clues. it's not one i'd associate with violence etc. failing that tbh if we did stop his hour before bedtime, he wouldn't have any at all during the week - as it's usually in from school, out playing/dog walking the reading & homework before dinner then a bath little telly and bed.

That happens here david - my ds often only watches tv at the weekend or sometimes in the mornings if he is ready very early. It is not necessarily a bad thing really.