I know it's been done before but self settling without controlled crying

[Newbabynewmum]

My daughter is 7 months nearly. She wakes approximately twice a night. She cannot settle herself & consequently has far too much milk each day.

This coupled with the fact that I'm a lone parent & so do each night alone means I'm quite exhausted. She doesn't nap much in the day so is generally asleep by 6.30pm - wakes at about 10.30pm & 1am then gets up at 6am.

Anyway. That's a lot of rambling. I don't mind getting up in the night etc but I really need her to start to get herself to sleep without a bottle.

I don't want to do controlled crying. So are there any methods? Good books etc?

Thanks very much :)

Hi, I'm no expert but your DD is going some fairly long stretches without waking so I would think she is self settling at some points through the night. (I could be wrong...) If she's waking could she genuinely be hungry? If it is the same time every night then it's habitual and baby whisperer methods like shush pat or pick up put down might help. Or Elizabeth Pantley's no cry sleep solution. Our 6 month DD is a bit hit and miss with self settling but does seem to need to fuss a bit on her own before falling asleep. If we go into her it overexcites her and wakes her up. If at any point she starts distressed crying we are of course in there like a shot.

As I said, I'm no expert and this is just what I've gleaned from MN, personal experience and the books mentioned above.

HTH and good luck!

A bit of crying is unavoidable, I'm afraid.

Alternatively, you wait for her to sleep through in her own sweet time. It might take another year or two.

DS could self settle consistently from 7 months but it didn't stop the night wakings. I think it's a myth!

You could cut down the bottles by one ounce a night to gradually wean her off night feeds. It's what Ferber, the guy who came up with controlled crying, actually suggests as a no-cry solution before trying CC as a last resort.

Also worth considering keeping a feed around 10pm as more likely she'll sleep from then until morning. Especially at this age when there are still growth spurts plus weaning is being established.

Do you do anything to encourage naps? There are many suggestions that Sleep begats sleep and so better naps might lead to better nights. Also, it is worth making sure there is no playing at night time - no talking or eye contact, minimal cuddles - so she is not waking in the night for fun.

Have you tried offering water rather than milk when she wakes?

These are all just ideas because I don't know of one perfect solution, but you have my sympathy.

We have water not milk in the night, and yes I don't talk to her or play or anything I try to make it as dull as I can :) so it's not milk or hunger that she's waking for I think it's just habit.

About naps she has two a day, one in the morning one early afternoon. She simply doesn't get tired other than this to be honest.

Thanks for your replies. I know there is no one perfect answer and I need to hang in there!!