Controlled Crying for early waking

[practicallyimperfect]

Ds is 19months old. He has never slept much past 5am, and sometimes it is earlier. Occasionally he will do the odd morning at 6am, and then straight back to the early wake ups. This week we have had a couple of 4.45am.

I have tried wake to sleep several times, I have dropped his daytime nap to one (at 12months), we have had a bedtime routine since he was 8weeks.

He has no problem going to sleep at night, we say goodnight he goes into cot and off he goes. So I know he can go to sleep.

We have moved his bedtime back to 7.30, and even 8pm for a couple of weeks to see if that made a difference.

We can't go on like this. It is killing dh and I. I have Bipolar and lack of sleep is a trigger for me. It is getting to breaking point. I work part time ( 3 days) at the moment, but in Sept I have to return full time.

I don't want to, but I think the only way is CC. But I am wondering about how it works in the mornings? Do I keep going until 7am, and then get him up if he is still awake?

Not sure if I can help much but wanted to reply as I sympathise with you. Does he cry when he wakes? My LO often wakes early and I just let her play in her cot until a reasonable hour. Often after 6. Sometimes she just goes back to sleep but rarely cries. I have never done CC in the morning but in all other cases I have and it has worked. You could give it a go but if he is happy and it's safe to let him play in his cot while you get a few winks that may help. I hope someone comes along with better advice and good luck!!!

We did this for early wakening and to be honest, although it worked beautifully when my los were tired at night it is semi-successful at this time of day. It did stop my ds wakening earlier every morning though and that was what was really bothering me! He grew out of it at 2yrs old if it helps.

Tried it: works like a dream when they are tired but didnt work for us in the morning.4.44am is our 'record'. I think you have to decide to go with it- it is only a time on the clock after all and just go to bed yourself earlier in the evening. You could also try moving LOs bedtime earlier it may work opposite to what you think. Also it is probably a phase but you do have my sympathyxx

I can't go to bed any earlier, I have at least two hours work to do every evening.

Hmm, maybe I won't try it then.

it won't work once they have woken in the morning. The only thing to do is keep them occupied with toys etc in their cot until 7am or whenever you need to get up. When they are older toys can be replaced with the TV downstairs

Doesn't work for early waking. Presume you have black out curtains in his room? If not, get them.

Otherwise, go to bed as early as you can (eat when he eats, start work the moment he goes to bed and then go to bed) and put a telly in your room on the floor so you can at least doze while he watches it. That's what I used to do. Nowadays my DS doesn't wake until nearly 8 most of the time so there is hope!

Thanks. Yes we have blackout blinds. I have tried toys, but he wants out of his cot. He wakes crying too, none of this chatting.

Our 20 month old is early riser too. He shares room with 3 yr old brother. We moved him into bed 2 months ago so that he can get up and play. We just leave them to it until 7 unless they kck off though we usually give them their milk when we first hear them. Not perfect, but a bit better for us. Agree with general consensus above that CC does not work in morning.

some milk and then back in cot to play?

No, I never had chatting either. Just woke crying every single day. It's hideous isn't it? I thought I was doing something wrong but it's just the way he is.

Seriously the telly was a godsend. Obviously it doesn't start until 6am but I had no compunction about sitting him on the floor in front of it until 7am while I slept. Quite often he would fall asleep too. I think eventually he got the message that this was a rubbish and lonely time to be awake so he just goes back to sleep when he wakes at that time now. Or plays with his toys. Either way, he knows I'm not getting up because It's Not Morning Yet.

Thanks. This morning I gave milk and he was quiet until 6am. I know this doesn't always work. Sometimes he wants to get up.

Just relieved that others "break the rules" as so many people had told me not to reward him with milk before 6am etc.

Going to look at sorting out room.so he can get up and play- he is currently in box room, so not much space.

I hope it gets better for you, but I agree with everyone else. CC is about 'teaching' a child to self-settle and go to sleep without adult intervention. But he doesn't want to go to sleep, he's not tired, all you'd be doing is refusing to come to him.

I'm really sorry it's so hard on you. I'm wondering if there's any way you and DH can split the early mornings so that one of you gets to sleep in at least every other day, or have naps on the weekend, etc.

I do know that when they're older, several parents I know have had success with teaching their child that they have to stay in their room until the clock says a certain time, but I think that's more like 2.5ish.

Definitely give him milk, IIRC even Gina Ford recommends this to settle them back to sleep until a more civilised time. Have you thought about tweaking his naps a little bit? Often this can lead to early morning waking (according to what I have read about the subject).

well I never realised there were do's and don'ts for CC.

That is where I have been going wrong on other threads. I always give DC milk if they are crying no matter what time of the day or night, closely followed by calpol, then dummy, then more milk. Repeat (within reason) until they are asleep. Didn't know that there was a 'no milk will teach them' procedure............OBV at night if repeated attention hasn't sorted it, them leave them to cry for a bit. But never knew about da rulez

It didn't work for us for early wakings either, unfortunately. We put it down to teeth most of the time. DD 2.9 started sleeping in much later when the last of her teeth came through around five months ago.

We did the TV thing too until she grew out of early wakings - she lay in bed with us with CBeebies/Peppa DVD on low so we could at least doze until 6.30am. Worked a treat. Now she wakes later and mornings are so much more of a rush to get sorted and out the door for 8.15am! Those early waking days now perversely seem like luxury in terms of the time we had .

DS2 is 13 months old on Thursday and also wakes for the day at any point between 4.30am and 5.30am. You have my sympathies. DS2 has never been a good sleeper, has been 'sleeping through' since October, but he has been waking ridiculously early since then.

He wakes up crying and continues to cry. He's not happy with just milk and then left to play in his cot. He wants to get out of his cot and attention. We've tried everything - extra bit of porridge before bed, later bedtimes, putting heating on overnight, cc etc. We are now at the stage of ignoring him , so he cries on and off for about 45 minutes, when I cave in and go and get him. I'm certain he's still tired, as his cries sound tired. His naps are pretty abysmal too.

I'm back at work now and finding it very very hard. Am going to watch this thread for the 'solution' .

Hi PI

We had this for 20 months until I was at breaking point.

Cc worked for us. It took two mornings. She used to wake at 5 am every single morning, crying - never ever chatting or babbling. She always seemed tired too.

We did cc and it got us to 7 am. She now wakes between 7 and 8 and I feel human again.

When we did it, we had reached total breaking point and it sounds like you are close. I would give it a go. It has improved my life immeasurably.

Good luck.