Does a toddler really need a set bed time?

[Lizum]

DS is 2.5. His bedtime varies from 6 to after 10! When I say bed time, sometimes he'll fall asleep at 6.30 before he's had supper, changed nappy etc, completely surprising me, othertimes, I'll still be reading him stories at 10 and he'll be jumping round the room with more energy than ever!

Does he really need a set bedtime?

Yes!

IMO, children do need routines especially at bedtime and that in turn helps then to sleep better. A lot of important and not visible development goes on while they're sleeping.

Is he starting 1/2 days at school when he's 3? He'll really struggle with that if he's not getting enough sleep.

Yes. And so do their parents!

i say go with the flow if you're happy with it and he is happy with it

plenty of time to get into a routine later IMO!

Yes, he does. And you need a bit of peace and quiet as well. 10 is way too late for a 2 year old IMO.

Yes. i'd go mad if DS was still up at 10!

I would absolutely say yes. Because blink and he will need to be getting up for school early and on time. If he is not used to some kind of structured bed time, I suspect it will be difficult to impose further down the line.

Also, bloody hell woman. Do you not want your evenings in peace???!!!

I think a certain amount of flexibility is ok, but 10 seems very late, is there any chance the bouncyness is due to over tiredness?

Yes they do I'd hazard a guess he sometimes catches you by suprise by falling asleep at 6.30 because he's not getting enough sleep on the times he's up until gone 10!

Yes. He's falling asleep at 6.30 because he's tired from being up until ten on previous nights.

I don't mean he must be in bed at 7.30 precisely with no budge-room, but generally they should be in bed within 30 minutes of the same time every day.

and I'd agree with the poster that says the bouncynes is probably overtiredness.

DS3 (3) has a set bedtime of 8pm. He is invariablly asleep by 8.20 at the latest. He can (and has in the past) stay up much later than that. At Christmas we went to a party at a friends house and left at midnight - he was bouncing round the house having a whale of a time with my friends DC. But that was because he was overtired. He crashed in his pushcahir on the way home.

Yes. Can't imagine my DDs still up at 10. They ask to be taken up to bed straight after dinner - which is always between 5 and 5:30, so go upstairs at 6 and asleep by 7.
Does he sometimes have a nap and stay up late and sometimes not have a nap and fall asleep at 6:30?

Any ideas then on how to make him go to sleep?

He wakes up between 8 and 9 in the morning.

If he wakes up at random times and has huge afternoon sleeps to make up his total 12 hours a day, possibly not, but he will need a set bedtime at some point.

dd1 and 2 are in bed by about 7.30 usually and THANK GOD for that

would happily pack them off earlier if i could manage it!

YES YES YES!

Absolutely YES i cannot understand why a small child would still be up after 8pm at night. They need to be tucked up asleep imho.

Bedtime routine was my absolute saviour of my sanity when ds was little.

I always hated passionately babysitting for people whos kids went to bed when they fell asleep or when they wanted to. nightmare kids!

No peace and grumps the next day. No, after 8pm is "adult time" in our house.

Yes. He needs a set bedtime.

8 and 9 will be a bastard when the playgroup/school days come.

Getting him to sleep - strict routines. Quiet voices, calm atmosphere. And he stays in his room - that's non-negotiable. Whenever he gets out of bed and leaves the room, you bring him back. Every single time. Don't engage with him, don't get into a discussion about it, stay quiet - he stays in his room. It will be hell for a while but he'll get the message. You can't make him sleep but you can keep him in his room looking at a picture book or whatever, and from that sleep will come.

Yes, he need sleep particularly when he starts nursery and as much as I love my 3yo DD I need some me time at night.

I'd probably start by not letting him sleep so late in the morning, get him up at about 8am, (or whenever suits you but I'd aim for 12 hours awake, 12 asleep.) Do lots of things to tire him out during the day, no naps, then after tea have quiet time. A nice bath, read some stories then put him to bed at about 8. Don't let him get up again, you may need to read some of the sleep training threads to work out how to get him to stay in bed if he doesn't want to.
Repeat until it becomes a habit. He'll get into a routine and you might find he wakes earlier of his own accord, and you can make bedtime earlier if it suits you, but if he's going to bed between 6:30 and 10pm then 8 seems like a good halfway point to start at.

I had to play "Evil Mummy" with DD when she was about 18 months old. We'd got into the habit of rocking her to sleep in her pushchair then putting her to bed. It could take 40 minutes! It was stupid! Eventually we decided enough was enough and we put her in bed. She cried for about 20 minutes the first night (we were outside her door checking and shushing at intervals) the 2nd night it was 15 minutes, the 3rd 10 minutes. The 4th night she didn't cry and was asleep in 10 minutes.

Just wanted to add, my DH had no bedtime as a child and is rubbish at going to bed now. He stays up half the night and is always moaning about being tired. Of course he might just be an idiot, or it might be that he was never put to bed until he crashed out from exhaustion and still doesn't really seem to know when he should be going to bed.

We have always put DS to bed around 7 pm, since he was very small. He can stay up very late, if we let him, but he gets very grouchy if he does not get enough sleep. He is now 5, but we still stick to 7pm, especially on school nights.