using a Grobag while co-sleeping - thoughts?

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DS2 is 13 weeks and has spent every night in bed with me since he was born. I planned for this and am happy to co-sleep for the moment, but I'm still concerned about overheating. I use a medium-weight duvet that I angle diagonally across my body, and ruck the duvet down below his feet. DS2 has a single cotton cellular blanket, but now he's started kicking it off several times a night, like DS1 did in his moses basket at about the same point! With DS1, we switched to a grobag in his basket.

Should DS2 use a lightweight (1 tog) grobag in bed next to me, or is my own body heat going to make that too risky? He's been more restless beside me recently, but I can't tell if it's down to losing his blanket several times a night or not. He does feel chilly under his babygo when I have a feel. We don't have the heating on after about 10pm, and it's not that warm a house. DH is in the spare room at the moment to avoid nighttime disturbances but we want him to move back in soon.

What do other co-sleepers do?

It's a while back now but dd2 co-slept with me a fair bit but always without her grobag. I think I did some research on it and it confirmed she'd have been too warm with body heat and my covers as well. We both slept under the duvet but she had a cellular blankie around her in case she got a bit chilly.

With the duvet, I'm mostly worried that he'll wriggle down under it, and obviously I can't do feet-to-foot-of-cot in a large bed! I mean, it might not be an issue - as I say, he kicks his blanket off all the time but doesn't seem to be too disturbed by it (brrr! I would be) but his little body feels chilly when I stick a finger between the poppers on his babygro.

I know some people put their babies in grobags on top of the duvet, but that seems risky too - can overheat from beneath and surely it's a squishier thing to lie on than the mattress?

(You can tell I've just read yet another scaremongering article on co-sleeping, can't you? I go through periods where I don't feel confident about co-sleeping.)

Ds always ends up in our bed after about 4 am and he wears a gro bag- what I do is put him on the mattress with no pillow above him and tuck the duvet firmly around me en snuggle into him. Iyswim! Not sure that makes sense but means he isn't under the duvet or on it.

I have a cold house too with high ceilings so i keep ds in his grobag when it's just the two of us. i keep him at breastfeeding height and have the duvet tucked round him but only from his waist/hips down. I wear a cardigan so my top half doesnt get cold. If my husband joins us I dont use a grobag as it gets really warm. He's bigger now though (7 months) so he can shuffle about to get comfy. (my son that is )

I think a lot depends on how much he snuggles up to you. DS1 slept on me most of the time so never needed anything else except a babygro and vest, but DS2 was happy sleeping next to me and so I either swaddled him or, later, used a 0.5 tog grobag.

Re sleeping on top of the duvet, I did this but only DS2's feet were on top of the duvet. Enough to stop the duvet from riding up but not enough to warm him up.

My DD spends some time in her cosleeper cot and some time snuggled up to me. She is in a 2.5 tog grobag and I don't think she gets too hot. She need the grobag as she is on her own in the cosleeper in the evenings.

We used a grobag and the duvet pulled so it just covered me, I used to get a bit of a chilly arm but baby was fine. When she started sleeping in between us she was much older (nearly a year) and we sort of pushed the duvet down so it just covered the very end of the growbag.
We have also put her on top of the duvet, I don't think she ever overheated like that - what tog is your duvet and is it synthetic or feather? I think feather duvets are warmer, this is just my perception - it could be rubbish.

I just wanted to add that I agree there is such little support for cosleepers. My HV is dead against it, some friends are very disapproving and all I hear are scare mongering accounts. Is there an actual study to support the worries? I love cosleeping and the bond it gave me with my children - I wish there was more support and fact based accounts. Ok rant over!!

Both of mine have slept in grobags on top of the duvet. We don't have heating on in the bedrooms and it can get pretty nippy in there in the winter.

reshape I could have written this post. Ds2 is 11 weeks and co sleeping. He's been sleeping (with a vest and sleepsuit) under a little blanket beside me on the matress with the duvet tucked up under his feet. Recently due to the 12 week growth spurt he's been waking more to feed but have wondered if he's warm enough. We were bought a few lovely grobags when he was born which I've been tempted to try.

Please don't feel concerned about co sleeping. Someone (can't remember who) posted a link to the natural child project website re recent research on co sleeping which will make you feel much better. Definitely have a read (sorry don't know how to do links from iPhone)

If you go to a LLL meeting you will meet loads of co sleepers. If you are BF you can get support with that too. It can feel a bit isolating if you are the only person you know (or who admits!) to co sleeping, but you are in the majority worldwide.

Not up to slogging all the way to the nearest LLL meeting, but am going to a slingmeet next week, and think it'll have something of a demographic overlap!

Thanks for all the tips and support. It really is appalling that it's impossible to get official guidelines for co-sleeping that don't say, every other line, 'but you're going to run the risk of killing your baby so best not, eh?'. They do say, sensibly, no drugs, drink, smoking, etc, but not what to wear or how to cover the baby.

Tamdin, thanks for the head's up - will chase it up!

I think I'll try DS2 in a 1 tog bag tonight. I'll be sticking a finger down his neck during the night from time to time. Obviously, the problem with bags is that if you and your partner do 'musical beds' (ie, change beds during the night to be with another child, or move out because the baby's too disturbing!) the heat level in bed fluctuates and it's not easy to remove or add a grobag without waking the baby. I really am overthinking this, aren't I?

i always had ds at bfing height in a grobag with the duvet tucked under me, and a thick pyjama top on to stay warm. these days if I bring him into bed (he's 8 months and I don't find it comfy/necessary to bf lying down any more) i shift the pillows across and have his head up at the same level as mine. that way i can have the duvet up to my neck and he is next to me in his grobag.

OP, are you going to the RFH sling meet on Wednesday? so am i, it's my first one!

DS2, 14 weeks, co-sleeps in his gro-bag, I just tuck duvet round me. Not only does he co-sleep, but refuses to sleep on his back so sleeps on his side - that has certainly earned me a few tuts from the perfect mums brigade!!!!