will I cause problems for my son by implementing a daytime sleep routine?

[whattoexpect]

My 14 week ds is good at night; goes down at 7, dreamfeed 10.30, usually have to wake him for a feed around 3 (he's low birthweight so don't want to drop night feeds yet), then again around 7am. He's never cried from hunger, though he can suck his fingers and flail around in his sleep.

In the day he's not so great. Catnaps rather than sleeps. Still feeds every 4 hours, unless growth spurt (ff).

So I've been trying to put him down at fixed times in between feeds, trying to get him to sleep for longer. I use Tizzie Hall 'Save our Sleep' as a guide, and it seems pretty sensible. No controlled crying etc. I shush pat if necessary.

But then I suddenly had a freak out today; is it wrong to develop a sleep routine in day? is it wrong to 'schedule' sleep? Will it make him insecure later on?

I should say that I have a very happy, smiley, non-crying baby a lot of the time. Except when overtired!

imo there is nothing wrong with having scheduled sleep time - he will sleep for longer if he needs to - as you will be well aware you can't force a child to sleep if they're not tired!

when my dc were about 12 - 16 weeks they had a morning nap of about 90 mins and then two hours in the afternoon - this pattern lasted til they were about 2 years and both had an afternoon nap til they were about three.

don't get hung up on it and get housebound due to nap time - I used to go out in the morning roughly when I knew they needed a nap and they would quite happily sleep - other times if we were out and about they'd catch up the next day.

No not at all, its important for your ds to get the sleep he needs just like he gets the milk and love he needs to develop normally!

It was at this age I started to get my dd into a good daytime sleep pattern and encouraged longer naps by having a daytime routine, putting her in her cot, making sure it was really dark, swaddled etc.

Never looked back she always slept well during the day from then and didn't drop her daytime nap til she was nearly 4yo!!!

No, you'll be doing him a favour, he needs decent sleep during the day at this age, and by encouraging him to have a sleep regulary, you're just making sure he fulfils this need. He will be happy for it and it will give you a chance to have a break to.

*too

Thanks for the replies. I feel better!

I went out for an hour and when I got back DH said DS had a big cry (10 mins) before bedtime and that got me worried - even though DH stayed with him, comforted him etc. DS had his jabs on Thursay so that might be why he felt unsettled...But suddenly freaked me out a bit. Had read an eassay that said 'schedulers' versus 'huggers' (as in the types of mums) created more insecure children. And there's quite a lot of people on mumsnet who hate the idea of routines. But maybe they're talking about controlled crying/crying it out...

Anyway, it gets confusing. I want DS to sleep in day, for him - and for me! I have to take comfort in that he really is the most contented baby temperament wise, so hopefully we're doing something right.

Sorry - it's all such a worry - what path to take with stuff...really don't want to mess him up

can you tell I'm a first time mum?!!!

whattoexpect- you are not going to mess him up, I promise. Your DS sounds gorgeous, and you are obviously doing brilliantly with him; please don't stress out about essays and the like. Best thing to do is just get on and do what you feel is right for you and your DS!

There is a world of difference between leaving a baby to scream for hours without responding to them, and guiding them into a sensible, structured daytime sleep routine that is tailored to their needs (ie you are aware of how long they can happily stay awake, and put them down to sleep when you recognise that they are getting tired).

Having a daytime sleep routine will not make him insecure; it will help him get through the day happily. You summed it up perfectly in your original post - you have a "very happy, smiley, non-crying baby a lot of the time. Except when overtired!" Overtiredness is a small baby's worst enemy (aside from hunger) and the whole point of structuring some daytime sleep is to help them avoid becoming overtired.

Both my DCs had structured daytime sleep routines from a young age, and whilst their routines were always flexible they definitely benefitted from proper quality sleep during the day. Personally I hate the whole 'hugger v scheduler' thing - no reason why you can't have a routine and still do lots of hugging!

Hi. I like the Tizzie Hall book although my DS always needs a bit less sleep than she suggests.
Just don't get hung up on it. Basically your baby will need a nap after being awake after a couple of hours. Plus if they're overtired they will struggle going to bed.
I think some routine is important,good for you and them.

Thanks for the reassurance. I have always felt that a routine, of sorts, is important - just to ensure that they get the sleep they need. But I agree, I should be careful to be flexible and make sure I listen to him first, and not a sleep trainer!

Providing that what you mean is watching for his cues and putting him down for regular naps (rather than "at 12.30pm it's nap time" etc) then i agree he'll benefit hugely. That's all i did with my DS (who sounds very similar to yours) and now - at 16 weeks - he's developed his own schedule of the classic 3 x naps - one in the morning, one at lunch, one late afternoon. It just appeared from nowhere after i followed his lead. After a bit of a blip when he would only nap for 45 mins at a time (i put it down to a developmental spurt) his two earlier naps are usually an hour and a half to two hours each.

By the way, just so you're aware, i found 14 weeks was a real bugger for catnapping and nothing i did would change DS's daytime sleep behaviour. He was like a different baby at this time, but it looks like it was a phase that passed quite quickly. If you don't succeed at first, don't worry too much - keep trying and it will fall into place i'm sure.

Hi Matana - actually, I do have set times for the first two sleeps - but of course, if he's not sleepy, then he won't sleep! But both times are about 2 hours after he's gotten up - i.e. he can't seem to go longer than 2 hours without needing a nap or sleep, which I imagine is very smiliar for babies of this age. His cues seem to suggest that he gets v sleepy as these times approach. If it's earlier, then I put him down earlier.

As it happens, today he's gone down without any problems just now - almost an hour ago - and this morning he napped for 40 minutes, then I went him and shush-patted him for 2 minutes, left him and he resettled himself for another hour! And in between he was a gorgeous, smiley, bouncy baby for his grandparents...