Self settling - when, how etc.?

[CanNeverDecide]

I have a 2.2 yr old DD who is an amazing sleeper now, BUT for the first 5-6 months of her life we had to rock her LOTS to get her to nap or sleep. I used the 'no cry sleep solution' methods to wean her off rocking and it took a lot of time and patience on my part.

So, I now have a 3 week old DD and am scared shitless about forming the same habits, to the point where I think I might be expecting too much from her as I am always trying to put her down to sleep awake - but she always cries as she can't seem to settle herself yet.

So I end up cuddling/feeding/patting her to help her doze off as I know she's tired etc. but then beating myself up all evening/night as I'm worried I'm creating bad habits.

At this young age, how do I help her sleep without creating bad habits? Is she too young to self settle, or should I carry on trying to put her down awake?

Also, am I alone in that I spend about an hour trying to settle her in the evenings, and often the same after a night feed? I feel very lonely in my sleep journey with her at the moment. Lack of sleep is also making me very grotty, arguing with DH, shouting at DD1 etc. and cross with myself.

Please help!

I would say she is 2 young 2 self settle have you tried laying something next 2 her so she can smell you just an idea

Ah it all sounds so familiar! I am sure I will be asking the same in 5 months when I have a newborn. I did the same with my 2 year old and to be honest his going to sleep habits aren't model yet!

Some say it's not worth bothering about until they are 12 weeks. I seem to remember Andrea grace suggests starting all this from 8 weeks. She used to have some good video tutorials on her website but they involve a bit of crying which I could simply not manage. Maybe it will be easier second time around, knowing more about what the future can hold?

I would say 12 weeks from my reading - but who am I to advise anything!

Hope you get some better suggestions.

I agree with the previous post,don't worry about it til at least 12 weeks.
Enjoy your baby and all the cuddles.
There is nothing wrong with trying to implement some good habits but it's pretty impossible in the early weeks IMO!
I swaddled both of my DC and that helped to make them feel cosy and secure so I could at least put them in the Moses basket!

The biggest thing is to not feed your baby to sleep,otherwise they will expect it each time.but obviously this is fine at 3 weeks and unavoidable!

Congratulations by the way!

I agree - too young, don't worry about forming bad habits yet. I think i tried early sleep training from about 6 weeks, but was prepared to still cuddle my DS lots, rock, sling, bring him downstairs etc if he wasn't able to self settle. By about 8 weeks we had the night time routine (bath, feed, bed) licked, with the occasional unsettled one. I think it's crucial to start re-setting their body clocks from an early age - so, lots of activity and noise in the daytime and quiet, lights low, subdued etc at night. Other than that there's not much more you can do with such a young baby.

But over the first weeks i did pretty much everything you're told not to do - including feeding to sleep (which actually still happens occasionally by accident). No apparent ill effects 16 weeks on - he's a really good self settler.

Enjoy the cuddles - they're gone too soon!

Congratulations and good luck!