Don't care if this sounds selfish and self indulgent

[willowsmyname]

But am beside myself with frustration. 8 month old S (he doesn't deserve the D in front of it this morning) started waking frequently at night and SCREAMING for up to an hour. It doesn't seem to make a difference whether we pick him up or not or if we're in the room with him. Last night I tried to do some CC but cracked at about 5am and brought him into our bed. I'm really miserable because he'd been sleeping through the night and we went through a sleep clinic and several painful weeks to get him to do this. I really thought we were home and dry. He's been poorly in the past couple of weeks but is better now - very perky and spritly in the day. Am confident that he's not still feeling unwell so happy to do CC.

I realise that this may sound like blasphomy to the purer elements of Mumsnet but I'm the sort of person who NEEDS their sleep. I do get really depressed and down without it. I've started to feel really resentful towards him again, something I thought I'd got over once he started sleeping through. Obviously this makes me feel like complete shit as what sort of a mother can I be that resent their baby for just being a baby. I'm clearly missing some sort of chip that makes you love your child no matter what. We had a very difficult start with him being in hospital and critically ill for the first 3 weeks and think this has affected how I feel about him longer term. My friends with babies all talk about when they have another one but at this stage the thought of having another baby makes me feel sick. SOrry about the ramble but I guess my questions are:

• Is there some sort of 8 month sleep regression I don't know about?
• Does anyone else resent their baby because they don't sleep or am I completely devoid of maternal instinct?
• Should I try CC again? WOrked before

Are you absolutely positive he's feeling well? My DS was like that when he had an ear infection - he was poorly for a little while, then got better and was fine during the day but very unsettled at night. There wasn't any real sign of infection either.

Not sure about 8 month sleep regression, although I don't think many babies are reliably sleeping through every single night at that age. Is it at all possible you have a touch of PND? I was diagnosed with PND with DD when she was about 8 months so it's not too late.

I don't think you sound selfish at all!

Yes there IS an 8 month sleep regression (well I think it can strike any time from 7-10 months iirc), we had a wickedly tough time with it but came through it.

Also, I totally agree that sleep is very very important (hence the activity levels on these boards!). It is not unreasonable to want to get a proper night's sleep, esp after the 6 month or so mark, and to help your baby to get one too. I do think that often the needs of parents let's be honest, mums, are pushed to one side. But we have needs too and if they are not met to some degree, be can't be the best parents we can be.

It sounds like despite your frustration you do have perspective on the fact that it is not your ds's fault. You don't resent him really do you? It's the sleep deprivation you resent.

No advice on cc but I hope you find the technique that works for you. PUPD has always served us well.

Oh, and I spend most of the time longing to have another baby- then when dd (13mo) has am odd patch of bad nights, I think noooo waaay. For that reason I want to wait until she is a bit older and we can rely more on consistent sleep at night. There's nothing wrong with that.

Sleep deprivation is a horrible thing, so it's no wonder you feel like this and i don't think you'd be human if you didn't. My DS is a pretty good sleeper but there have been times when i have been frustrated and resentful of him - it's hard not to be when he's awake several times in one night for no apparent reason. No sleep is bad, but broken sleep is unbearable.

I'm afraid i don't know any more about an 8 month sleep regression, but do you have a partner who can/ does help? DH used to walk around with DS at 5am while i got a few hours uninterrupted sleep. Week days might be difficult, but perhaps this could happen at weekends?

If controlled crying worked before, give it another try - but make absolutely certain he isn't poorly (or teething) first.

Good luck and sorry you're having such a miserable time.