anyone there? think i'm going to lose my mind tonight

[CrazyOVERbaby]

9 month old dd who never sleeps is, er not sleeping again, and I don't know what else to do. I just thought if anyone else is here we could be miserable together.

I am here :( up since 2 a.m with my 2.4 year old daughter .. Am so fed up with the lack of sleep . My daughter is driving me crazy , woke up at 2 and I brought her into our bed , still would not settle , running around saying I'm hungry , got up and fed her , still refused to sleep , had to come downstairs and am now on the sofa with her playing with her toys and singing . Aaaaaaagggggghhhhhh

Oh, sorry I missed you. Here I am - only 7 or 8 hours late. Now listening to mine scream whilst she is supposed to be napping. After being up all of the night (actually she did drop off to sleep between 5 and 6 am - which is why I missed you!)you would have thought she's be shattered, but no!

Why don't they sleep - keep this thread on watch and whenever you're up drop in - who knows maybe we'll meet at 3 am.

Is your DD generally a bad sleeper, or is it just a one off? Mine is usually ok (ish!!, she has her moments) but is going through a particularly bad time with her health and has been in and out of hospital, so is up all the time!! Mercifully my elder daughter sleeps through all the howling - although god knows how.

I'm supposed to be going back to work on Tuesday and I have no idea how I'll cope of half an hour's sleep a night. AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

You have my sympathies, my DD is 9 months and wakes every 2-3 hrs every night, she's been doing it since she was 4 months old. I'm tired most of the time, but in a way I now got used to it iykwim?
Just doing the smallest tasks seems like such a struggle, I find it difficult to get organised and it's affecting my short-term memory - I keep finding half-empty cups of tea around the house that I have forgotten about! :)

Hi again :) I wish I could say that this is a one off for my dd , sadly she has always been a "challenge" to get to sleep . She did fall asleep around 6.30 this morning and then slept until 10:35 !!! I have had the tantrum at 8 when I put her down to sleep tonight , but I am standing strong this time .I work full time , and this lack of proper sleep is ridiculous now . Tonight I am Not bringing her into our bed , I am going to get up when she crys and comfort her , then leave the room and she is going to have to get on with settling back to sleep . I have sent my 2 stepsons to stay with their nan to avoid them being kept awake with the howling :( oh dear this is going to be a long night , but I will persevere for the sake of everyones sanity . I will keep you posted , hang in there and I hope you get a better night tonight :) it sounds like your daughter's sleep pattern was knocked off course by the illness and being in hospital , maybe things will settle when she is feeling herself again .

She slept all night until 6:15 !!!! She woke up saying mummy can you change my nappy ? (We are potty training since yesterday) I actually woke up at 3:15 and could not get back to sleep until 5 ish because I was expecting her to wake up as she usually does . So first night went ok .. Will keep on posting :)

Morning all - I have had yet another awful night with DD2 who is 10months. She has always been fairly rubbish at sleeping but seems to be getting worse if that is at all possible.

Need a new plan but
a) cant think of one as I am obviously not very good at this whole sleep thing
b) am too tired to actually follow it.

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Anyway, just thought I would come along and moan generally!

Oh and in my general misery I forgot to say Bravo to rumby. Hope its the first of many good nights.

Oh hi girls - congrats rumby - hang on in there and remember that just when you think you've got it cracked, she might go back to her old ways for a few nights trying to test your resolve - but stand strong for these few nights if she does go back over and you will have cracked it!! I know it' hard when you've got to work and do so on virtually no sleep.

Hi bubbles, welcome to the sleep deprived middle of the night mums club! My nine month old has also always been fairly bad at the sleep thing, but has definitely been getting better over the last few months. But until she was 6 months she would regularly wake ever 2-3 hrs so I feel your pain! But, yes, do do learn to function, although the short term memory loss is a challenge!!

Our problem is that for the last 3 months DD2 has been ill with everything going (chic pox, slapped cheek, norovirus, rotovirus, countles contact viruses, colds, coughs, ear infections etc). Our doc says that she is perfectly healthy, but as we have her in nursery now, she is picking everything up from there. Although he does concede that we are having 'a bad run of luck'.

We were in hospital last weekend with rotovirus, and she picked up a coughing virus in there, which has gone to her ears, so she is in constant pain (calpol etc doesn;t seem to touch it) Dos won't give her anti-biotics as they will affect the recovery of her gut after the roto virus. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

As a consequence my normally so-so sleeper, has cried all night (an pretty much all day) for th last 3 nights.

Last night, after putting her down as usual at 7pm, she was still crying at 10pm and I just totally lost my rag and stomped downstairs and told DH he would have to do the weekend night shift, cos I just couldn;t do it any more. I was slamming doors, and genuinely think I could have put my fist through a wall. I just feel so angry all of the time.

Anyway, went to bed with earplugs in, hubby up all night and has now gone back to bed (don't blame him, but irrationally keep thinking 'but I never get that luxury when you sod off to work')Now have the prospect of another crap day looking after the kids on my own all day, both me and my 3 yo going stir crazy in the house,but can't go anywhere with DD2 as she is.

WHEN WILL IT END?!?!?!?!?!?!!?!?!?

I feel like a shit mum, they'd all be better off without me - even though in my right mind, I know that's not really true. I just want to be a good mum to both of them and foor us all to be happy again. but with this run of illness showing no sign of abating I see no end in sight.

Can't wait to go back to work (part time) and am supposed to go back next week, but have already had to let my employer down, which I also feel shit about.

Oh, rant over, need to see to the wailing baby.

Any tips for ear ache, (and a cough!) please let me know - desperate woman here!!

Ok, so on to my tale of woe from last night

Hi girls , have not forgotten , will post as soon as dd is off to bed , stay strong .

Hi Bubbles 12, I know exactly what you mean when you say you are too tired to even think of a plan. I have had nearly 2 and a half years of bad sleep and can safely say I reached boiling point on Thursday night .Maybe if you could get someone to take over for 1 night , so you could catch up on your sleep, then you might be in a better mind frame to decide on a plan of action . My only advice to you , is once you decide on a plan, stick to it, because that's where I think I went wrong over the past 2 years. I gave in to lack of sleep every time and ended up brining dd into our bed. It would start of fine, but after a few weeks , she was a little rascal, jumping all over the bed and trying to go downstairs to "play with my toys mummy". We will see how my new plan goes , but I aint bringing her into our bed , that's for sure :o

Hi Crazyoverbaby, you are having a real rubbish time , how bad for your dd to get a tummy bug, then a cough and now an ear infection. Ear infections are so painful in babies , have you been given anti-biotic ear drops ? I'm not sure if you can get ibuprofen for babies , but it might hit the pain better than calpol , also try putting a warm compress next to the ear to soothe the pain. ...For the cough, try carvol capsules on her bed clothes to ease her breathing, and planty of warm fluids .

You are NOT a shit mum , it's really really hard when your little baby is screaming in distress and there is nothing you can do to help her . I would have gone beserk if I were in your situation .Try to get a proper break from them all . Get your partner to take them for a full day and take yourself off and relax . The illnesses will pass with time . Your baby daughter will get better , it just seems like you have been really unlucky with all her infections .

Try not to stress too much about work, if your employer is any good, then they will be sympathetic towards your situation . When your little one is better , then you can get back to work .
I really hope things get a little better for you ... stay on here and at least we can all chat and listen to each other for some support .

She woke up at 2:50 ... Crying a bit for "mummy " . I waited for 3 minutes (why is 3 minutes in the middle of the night soooooo long ) . Went in , did the put her back down thing and left the room . Cue total hysterical jumping up and down in a rage for 5 minutes , went back in and put her down firmly again , left the room , another 5 minutes of hysterical wailing jumping up and down screaming mummy please , after 5 minutes had calmed down to just a bit of crying , then I heard a whimper and big yawn and then silence . She is lying down with her eyes closed , not asleep yet but not crying . Am waiting for next episode....Jesus, how did my mother raise 8 kids !??

Morning,
Can I join in?
I have an almost 4yo dd, yes, 4yo who has only slept through the night a handful of times. And an 18mo ds who was a good sleeper but has been disturbed by dd so much, he now wakes up frequently as well.

So last night was typical in my house.
7.30pm, kids bedtime.
11.15pm, ds wakes up for 20 mins.
11.55pm, dd comes into my bedroom crying, up for 10 mins.
1.30am, dd starts having nightmare, crying in her sleep.
2.00am, I get into bed with dd to calm her after nightmare, this goes on for almost 3 hours.
4.45am, ds wakes up, won't go back to sleep.

So I've been up since 2, I've had about 2 hours of broken sleep before that.

I've been to the doctor about dd's sleeping and have been told repeatedly that she'll grow out of it. We were seen by a sleep specialist when dd was 9mo because she was hurting herself to keep herself awake. Nothing helped and in the end we were told "She'll grown out of it."

I'm on AD's, I have no social skills at all anymore, I find basic interactions with people very difficult. I do have some very supportive friends, but after this long they get bored of hearing about my lack of sleep.

I'm going to go back to the doctor again this week as dd's nightmares have got worse and I'm going to insist on some help.

Morning all . Here's what happened after the 3 a.m wake , ... Nothing !!! She went to sleep and woke up at 8:15 . She is in a really happy mood and I gave her lots of praise for being "a big girl and sleeping in her own bed " last night .
Hi confuzzeled , I'm sorry that you have had a really rough time with your dd . Has your dd always had these bad dreams ? Is she able to talk to you about what the dreams are about ?? Is there anything that triggers the bad dreams ? I would ask your GP for help again and get a specialist referral to have this investigated . I hope things sort themselves out for you soon . Let us know what happens and good luck .

Morning all.

Crazyoverbaby - pretty certain you can get a baby ibuprofen called calprofen, you have had such a tough time of it recently. There will be an end to all this illness you just have to claw your way to it.

rumby - I too have been doing the 'easy' (huh!) thing and bringing DD into bed with me. In the past it has worked really well and I suppose at that point I didn't have a problem with it as we all got enough sleep. Annoyingly she seems not to sleep so well with me now so neither do I.

I did have a small success last night in that I did ot bring her in bed. It did mean that i was up lots going in and out reassuring her but I did manage to resist. Now that I have done it once, I will be determined to try and do it again. DH goes onto a night shift next week so i will have to be strong on my own. Maybe knowing that I will be reporting to you guys will keep me going

Confuzzled - Welcome! Sorry to hear of your story. I think you would be perfectly entitled to go back to the GP and ask/insist on being referred to a sleep specialist. Sleep is a human need and going without quality sleep for that long is just not fair on you all.

Hope everyone has a good day.

Hi all , last night she woke up at 3 , called out for mummy and went back to sleep after 5 minutes :) then she woke at 5:30 :( up for the day , I was at work today and not home till 7:30 . She fell asleep on the couch at 5:30 until then . She went to bed at 9 , so we will see how tonight goes ....

Ds2 would wake up to 17 (yes I counted once) times a night. He was never a great sleeper as a baby but when he hit 18 months it just went downhill. Ds3 arrived and the thought of going back to work after a normal night with both of them was terrifying. I tried everything with ds2 but nothing work. In desperation I gave craniosacral therapy a whirl. He was about 2.6 at the time. God knows what she did but after 4 sessions and £140 (I would have paid 10x that), he now only wakes once if at all. Dh was very sceptical but is now a firm believer.

Hi there, sorry for the abstinence, I have been in hospital all weekend with the baby. AGAIN!! Cough turned into pneumonia, so we were on oxygen all weekend, although we are home now, and the baby has returned to her normal (albeit not great) sleeping patterns.

Hello to everyone new, it's nice to hear from you all. I think I hit on something when I posted in desperation in the middle of the night! I know how you all feel though, lack of sleep - not just the actual lack of sleep - but the terrible feeling in the pit of your stomach all day, and especially in the early evening - that comes with the knowledge that you WILL NOT be getting more than a few hours kip, is just awful. It's depressing and makes you anxious, nervous, jumpy, angry, and generally makes you feel like shit.

I know how it can affect your social skills, memory, cognative skills,everything! Anyway, soladarity and all that, I feel your pain, and will no doubt be posting later on!haha!

Hi all , and welcome to all the new comers . Crazy over baby , I hope your dd is getting better now , keep us posted . I have had brilliant nights since Sunday . Even though dd was asleep from 5:30 pm until 8 on Monday , she actually slept all night long ! My other half was looking after her today and apparently she woke him up at 8a.m.singing really loudly in her cot :) tonight she fell asleep on the couch at 7pm and has been in her cot sleeping since . Let's see what tonight brings girls ...

Ooh rumby, you are doing so well. Mine is fine, other than waking up at 2 am for a feed, despite being fed at 11.pm. I'm a bit flummoxed with what to do with her really. On the one hand I know that she is recovering from illness, so she needs to make up the calories she's missed. Howwever, having fought long and hard to get her into good sleeping habits, I'm reluctant to keep dancing to her tune and feeding her in the night. I mean, she is nearly 10 months old, and it seems a bit mad that I'm giving her a 'dream feed' then am up again 3 hrs later to feed her again, when she's on 3 big meals a day (main and dessert, haha!), 2 snacks of fruit or starchy stuff , plus 3 8oz bottles of milk!

Plus, there is the fact that for the last 2 mornings, having fed her in the night, she has refused breakfast, so clearly she's getting her calories at the wrong time of day (ie the middle of the night!).

Ok, so I want your opinions on getting her back on track. The plan is...

If she feeds well all day today, takes a good feed at 10.30pm and is generally in good health, I'll do the old controlled crying thing if she wakes in the night for milk.

If that works, I'll carry it on for a few more nights, before dropping the dream feed (until all this illness struck she didn't have this feed anyway and was roughly 7-7 with the odd night where she wanted to be up partying at 3am!)

She's been right as rain today - not even any sign of the cough and has been up to leads of mischief with her big sister, so I'm confident she is on the mend. I've also had her weighed this morning, convinced that she must have suffered terribly and dropped loads of weight, but actually she's put some on, and is definitely not wanting in that department! She's quite the fat little munter.

What do you all think?

Hello all.
Crazy - I was in a similar position not that long ago with my now 10 month old with the 2 feeds a night. I was not brave enough to try the CC route but just gave her water instead for a few nights until she got the idea that there was no milk coming at that time. Then after a few nights I just shushed her back to sleep at that time. Had some success but took ages and to be honest she still wakes at that time occasionally. So, after all that waffle, I guess I am saying - Go for it! You will know if she had enough in the day and doesn't need that bottle. Good luck with it - let us know how you get on.

I have seen some progress with DD2, she woke last night at 2 ish - she has been teething so I went in and gave Calpol and then a miracle happened. She rolled over and went to sleep! I could hardly believe it.

She woke at 5 ish and I gave her milk (which I am happy to do as I am basically a soft touch ) and then slept till 7.

For us, that was an excellent night. When she can go till 5 ish without waking up then I will crack the 5am bottle.

Oh and rumby - Wow. You must feel like a new person with all that lovely sleep.

Hi bubbles - thanks for the vote of confidence. Isn't it odd how our sleep expectations change so much after we've had babies? A year ago I would have phoned in sick at work, stayed in bed all day and generally gone totally OTT if I had only managed 4-5 hours sleep. Now, that's quite a good night and I can sort of function! Sounds like you are making progress with DD2, their teeth do seem to mess the sleep thing up. Hope she cuts them soon and you can get more sleep!

Hi everyone, am too tired to write tonight . But it's not from lack of sleep from dd !! She has been sleeping soundly since Sunday now :) !!! Seriously cannot believe the change in her !!! Will write tomorrow after work , have a good night :)

Hello - hows it going Crazy?

DD2 woke at 4.30 last night which is an all time record. Gave milk and she slept till 6.30. I actually feel human after such a good sleep. So true what you say about expectations changing, I would have been a total zombie if I was woek in the night before children!