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Sleep regression

4 replies

StickThemWithThePointyEnd · 10/03/2011 21:03

About 10 weeks ago I decided I couldn't bend over the side of DS's cot anymore with my bump and that it was time to drop the side. There were also other reasons, like the fact that he would wake up really early in the morning and wanted to play in his bedroom, but obviously couldn't get out of his bed, so he got stuck trying to sneak through the bars, and also tried to climb out.
I realise that at almost 17 months this was early, but we dropped the side anyway, put a huge cushion/mattress thingy next to his bed that was almost the same height as his bed, and we never had any problems. his sleep improved massively, and his mood did, too.
for daytime naps we would put him in his bed, close the door+stairgate at the top of the stairs, then we could hear him get out of bed, play for 10 minutes or so. He'd then get back into bed, cover himself up and go to sleep for an hour or two.
Evenings were similar.
everything went really well.

Then, about two weeks ago, he started not sleeping during the day anymore, and was waking and walking out of his bedroom about 5-6 times a night, come into our bed and just lay there for ages, quietly, but not sleeping.
We all got grumpy and sleep deprived after a few days and I put the side of his cot back up.
We're back to 2 hour naps in the day and 12-14 hours at night, without waking (I sleep VERY lightly, I even notice when he turns over in bed in the night).

Because I'm in the middle of re-decorating his bedroom I wanted to get him a new bed when I'm finished, probably a children's one that he could be in till he's 10, so we can use the cot for his little brother or sister (in our bedroom, attached to our bed with the side dropped so it's like co-sleeping, but with baby having its own, slightly raised space).
I don't really know what to do now. I don't know what guard rails are like or if they would help making him feel more secure... or if there is any point in even trying.

I've tried asking my HV for advice, but she is, frankly, utterly useless because her idea of bringing up babies is so not what mine is (I like co-sleeping, slings, baby led weaning and cuddling my child when he is crying. She advocated putting him in his own room at 3 months, weaning him at 4 and leaving him to cry it out so he would learn to sleep by himself). Her advice was to ignore him when he wakes up, or LOCK HIS DOOR. uhh, you what?!

Sooo... any ideas, advice, success stories.... I never really read up about how to move a toddler from a cot into a bed, so did everything by instinct and was so happy it worked, but obviously, now, it doesn't...

Tonight, he has - I think - gone to sleep with the side down. He came out once, was at the top of the stairs for a minute, then closed his bedroom door again. This is the first time we've tried the side down again, and I'm fully expecting to have several wakings tonight.

OP posts:
SpeedyGonzalez · 10/03/2011 21:08

I am on your wavelength re sleep stuff (i.e. think your HV is a nutter).

I used a bed guard for both my kids - DS is now 4, and I've always used it with my now 10 mo DD for co-sleeping.

If i were you I'd try your DS in his new bed with the guard rail, and see what happens. If you want to put a mattress down for safety, that would work, but you might also think he's confident enough to climb down carefully without it.

I don't quite understand why, if he's creeping into bed with you and laying there quietly, it results in loss of sleep for you.

I tend to think that if children regress in any aspect of their development what they need most of all is to be drawn closer to their parents until they feel secure again - more cuddles, kisses, perhaps co-sleeping for part of the night if that seems appropriate.

Is any of this useful?

StickThemWithThePointyEnd · 10/03/2011 21:24

thanks for your quick reply!

my HV couldn't understand my unwillingness to put a bolt on his door or something like that. the doorframe isn't big enough to put a stairgate on it, which would feel slightly less cruel.

I'm not worried about him falling out, or climbing out, he's confident enough to climb out of the cotbed and has never fallen out in the night as far as I know, of if he did, I didn't hear about it.
I'm worried that he might not be feeling secure without the cotside, which could be why he's getting/waking up.

When he creeps into bed with us (and with us I mean my husband, myself and my 34 week bump) he wants to lay between us, his head on my pillow, one arm usually on top of my neck, for about 10 minutes, then shift, twist and turn, lay on top of me or my head, or kick me. I can't face away from him, he wants me to face him. there have been some cute moments when he starts to drift off and "loses" my pillow, and lays on me instead, then started looking for the pillow in my top, half asleep.
But he seems unable to go back to sleep when he's in there, and I'm a light sleeper.

the only reason I am not really considering cosleeping at the moment is that our bed is almost too small for me, DH and bump, because I sleep curled up on my side, but I definitely want to do what I can to make him feel secure, which is why, when he asked for the side to be put up, I put it up.

OP posts:
SpeedyGonzalez · 14/03/2011 21:05

Well if you think having the side up makes him feel more secure, you're probably right, in which case a guard rail should work very well.

Out of interest why are you planning to get him a child's bed rather than an adult bed + rail? The latter idea would save you money...you could even buy bunk beds so you never need to buy the kids another bed again. We have these, and DS (4) loves them - he climbs up on the top to perform puppet shows, then the lower bunk is a cave.

Just a thought. Good luck with whatever you decide!

SpeedyGonzalez · 14/03/2011 21:08

Oh and yup - totally get why you're not wanting to co-sleep! Though you might find when DS discovers you co-sleeping with baby 2 that he wants extra cuddles, especially at night. In which case having a spare adult bed might come in handy to make sure either you or your DP can get some sleep somewhere! (Bed-hopping seems to be all the rage among my parent friends these days...sigh)

Grin
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