Can't fucking stand it, advice gratefully received.

[MrsMiyagi]

It's 5.35, I've been awake since 3. I can't stand any more loss of sleep, I'm so angry with DD through tiredness and frustration. I know compared to some babies she sleeps well, but I'm struggling.

She's 8.5 months.

She goes to bed at 7, and self settles in her cot. We dreamfeed her at 11, not sure if we should try to change this.

She then sleeps to anywhere between 5 and 6. I've been going to bed earlier to allow for her early mornings, but sometimes, like today, she wakes a lot earlier and won't re-settle. This morning (middle of the fucking night more like) she screamed for an hour (with us going in every few mins) before I gave up and we're now up. She's now beside me on the sofa rubbing her eyes and looking knackered.

I offered her milk when I first went in and she took about half a feed.

I hate this. She woke me squeaking in her sleep at 3, but my sleep is so messed up I couldn't go back to sleep. She's been awake since 4.

She won't co-sleep, so that isn't an option.

Well, her morning nap was half an hour! Even though mummy was resolutely pushing said child in the pram through gale force winds. Dammit.

She's just gone down in her cot after an enormous lunch, fingers crossed.

Yup, she's in a bag, she ends up in some very weird positions, but it doesn't seem to be bag-related. Never know though!

Well, yesterday's naps were half an hour in the morning, and an astonishing two hours in the afternoon! Bedtime was half seven and she woke at 5.50, no dreamfeed and no wake-ups in the night! So, whilst 5.50 is still pretty early, it's an improvement.

Unfortunately my sleep is now so messed up I woke at 5.

Thanks so much for the tips!

Brilliant, hope it continues!

Oh wow! That's fantastic progress - really hope it continues for you.

I was amazed, I have to say. Particularly with the afternoon nap, she started squeaking after about 45 mins, so I swooped in and rocked her into submission. Felt like a very good mummy indeed!!

So far, so good today, an hour of nap in her cot this morning, and so far an hour this afternoon. Typing very quietly...

Oops, just read vez's post about too much sleeping in the morning...

It may be alright :-). If she wakes up very early again at least you can tweak the naps a bit more. I can only say what worked for my DS and what I have read.. But all my friends' babies sleep better than mine at night and most have an hour nap in the morning and an hour in the afternoon. They are all different...

That sounds more like it!

My ds often sleeps 2 hours in the morning and gets up between 7-8am, so different things definitely work for different babies. As vez says, see how it goes and then tweak things to suit.

Hey Mrs hope you have another good night tonight. Hopefully you have got things a bit more sorted with the advice on here but just wanted to add my tuppence- the dream feed didn't work well for me either and as soon as I dropped it my DD started to sleep later and later.

Good Luck :)

Morning all.

Yesterday: up at 5.50, morning nap 1 hour, afternoon nap 1.5 hours, bed at 7.

Last night: no dreamfeed, no wakes, up at 5.15.

Today I'm going to try the later bed time again.

I do feel we're making progress, even though the thing I originally came on here to moan about (the early wakings) haven't really got sorted.

Thanks for helping while I'm making changes. Looking back over this thread, I was very convinced that some things weren't going to work, based on past experience. Just shows you can never assume you know anything at all about your baby!

You are definitely making progress. And the early waking stage is common and well known to be hard to shift. Assuming you already have blackout blinds, there's not a lot more you can do. Obviously make the early morning quiet and boring, and put off breakfast as long as you can. But sometimes they do wake early for a bit and the best you can do is go to bed early yourself until it passes. Or have a nap after lunch yourself!

Honestly, i would try and cut the morning nap. From what i have read it is a common cause for early morning waking. Pleased to hear that things are improving.

My DS is 17 months and we've stuck to two naps since he was 9 months.

At 9 months (ish) his sleep went mad. Partly because he was ready to drop the third nap and partly because of a developmental leap, which passed.
Over the last 8 months he's had early wakings and not so early. I've kept his naps the same as I don't think it makes a difference unless he's ready to drop a nap (which will be soon!)

Re the early mornings, it could be bird noises or wind or teeth or developmental or overtiredness. If you cut naps out, you'll see a short term difference but long term the sleep loss will make things worse again!

Hi MrsMiyagi

Like many of the other replies I don't have any advice but just wanted to let you know I feel for you. My son is now 3 years but was very similar at that age and unfortunately through severe sleep deprivation at the time I can't remember what we did or how we resolved the sleep or lack thereof issue.

Good luck (and it does get better)

Hi, me again.

I'm finding extending her naps impossible. She has managed it a couple of times, and her morning wake up time did improve a bit, but there seems to be no rhyme or reason to it. I kept things exactly the same, and she reverted back to 30 - 40 mins in the morning, 40 mins after lunch, and 40 mins mid-late afternoon.

She's coming up for 9 months, so it could be a developmental thing. I'm getting so down, I'm so sick of being woken so early and starting every day in a bad mood. I'm feeling more and more regretful that I had a baby, but I know that isn't helpful and am going to bed really early and trying to be more accepting.

Her wake ups are so consistent (never beyond 6, mostly between 5 and 5.30) I'm worried this could be the way it is for months or years.

Hi,

I really wouldnt beat yourself up about extending her naps, my ds is the same age and hes only ever slept 45 mins on avg, if hes really tired he'll sleep longer but very rarely.

Some babies just dont have really long naps, my friend's son had catnaps at this age but as he got older he'd have a longer sleep during the day.

FWIW I co-sleep and bf my ds and he wakes 3ish times a night and Im mega tired all day every day and I cant see an end to it unless I braved CC but then that might not even work.

I remember feeling similar at 9 months. In the end I stopped fighting his naps and went to bed very early to get through it. Also had to watch what DS was eating as he got wind which (still does) wake him up early.

Is there anything that could be waking her? Any noises like traffic or birds?

It gets easier getting up early once the days get longer. Maybe have a shower while DH looks after her, go to a window where theres light and it'll make you feel better. What time are you going to bed? I found myself doing so at 9, so a couple of hours before he has a feed then back to sleep until 5.

Also around 10 months DS started napping longer in the afternoon. I used to resettle him which didn't always work then he just did it himself.

Thanks Desperate and Iggly. Yes, I've become obsessed, I must admit. I'm only trying to get her to nap longer because it did have a bit of a positive impact on night sleep (one morning sleep and a long afternoon sleep, instead of the three short ones that she has now).

I go to bed v early, it's the only way I can function. I was a BIG sleeper before DD, I got 9 hours every night, and somehow I still haven't adjusted.

I don't think anything is waking her, quiet road so no noticeable traffic sounds. We have a blackout blind. I did think she was just waking when she'd slept enough, but this morning she was rubbing her eyes and looked knackered.

Perhaps I need to give up worrying about the naps and just go with what she does naturally. I just worry that if we don't try to get her to sleep later we're just reinforcing the habit.

It honestly does get better. Our DD was an awful sleeper up until about a year old, then one day miraculously it just happened that she slept through. Amazing....no idea what had changed really. It just seemed she was more knackered from her day and actually needed sleep more. She also got over those 5am starts. At about a year old she went to 6am plus starts (a lie in for us!)

We found that PUPD technique worked well and refusing to get her out of bed till at least 6. I didn't leave her to cry, but would just go in to her room, re-settle her with shushing noises and leave again.

I still go to bed mega early 9-9.30pm every night. It's the only way I can cope with early starts - and remember feeling awful for a long time in her first year. It even made me question whether I could ever put myself through it again with a second child, but (and can't believe I'm writing this), now she's 18 months old, sleeping solidly, I'm just coming round to the fact I could do it all again (must be mad!!)

Just wanted to offer some support. My DS (now 14 months) was also a 40 minute napper and an early riser for a long time. I gave up trying to extend his naps and get him to get up later and just accepted that this was the way it was. It did take a long time for me to do this though. I've also accepted that I may well get far less done than I would like in the day and that I may have to go and have a nap when he does some days.

However once DS dropped the third nap (think about 9-10 months) he gradually started extending his naps so he had 2 naps of 1 hour. He also went through a phase of waking at 5-5:30 which went on for a while (with no obvious cause - we tried later bedtime, didn't work, blackout etc no changes) but that seems to have gone too.

It is horrendous when you are going through it but it won't last forever even if it feels that way now. You're not alone - there are hundreds of us out there with children who don't like to sleep the way we would like them to.

Thanks so much, feel like such a cow of a mummy, I get so frustrated with her.

Once we go in to her room all hell breaks loose, unless we pick her up and get up for the day, so PUPD isn't an option. Earlier in the thread I was delighted to have swooped in and rocked her back to sleep, it hasn't worked once since I'm afraid!

You're giving me some hope that she'll sleep later at some point, perhaps there isn't anything we can do, and we just have to continue with the 9pm bedtimes.

Definitely no number 2 DC for us.