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Sleep

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Original poster

Am I creating a MONSTER?? 4 wk old Mummy limpet.

21 replies

debka · 08/03/2011 21:01

DD2 is 4 wks today. She will only sleep in her sling, and is only really content when she's with me. Try as I may she will not go in her moses basket awake to sleep (IYKWIM), and if I try and transfer her once asleep, she normally wakes up and cried. I tried leaving her today but she just screamed and screamed.

Please tell me that this is just because she is so new and doesn't know that she and Mummy are separate people yet. My back is killing me and DD1 is getting rather pissed off, understandably!

Off to bed now (at last), will await lovely reassuring posts in the morning! :)

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

NinkyNonker · 08/03/2011 21:02

Don't leave her, the advice you have been given is right. At 4 wks she doesn't know she isn't still part of you, she needs you to mkae sense of herself if you see what I mean.

Enjoy her!

barmbrack · 08/03/2011 21:06

You're doing it all right. It won't last forever. before you know it she'll be flinging herself from your arms and heading for the nearest hot / high / dangerous thing to do mischief with

reikizen · 08/03/2011 21:07

She has lived inside you for 9 months. If you were her would you rather be a)in cold, silent, unfamiliar smelling moses basket or b)next to a warm, familiar body?
If you are still settling her to sleep in a sling when she is 5 come back to us. Enjoy her, don't leave her crying. Life is to short and there is lots of crying in it already without adding to it on purpose.

BarackObamasBigEars · 08/03/2011 21:11

Ah, I remember these days - this was me last summer. DD is 10 months, and currently fast asleep in her cot. As she is every night. Or the buggy. Or my bed. Or, even, on occasion, on my back in the sling! It can be done!

Don't fret, she will change so much over the next few months. When she's about 12 weeks old have a review of how things are going and where you'd like to be, and then start planning how to gently ease her into new ways of doing things.

For now, just go with the flow, do whatever works for her.

Good luck, and enjoy your lovely DD!

Adair · 08/03/2011 21:13

Ah, I have my own 6 week old limpet - he is getting happier about not being on me (asleep in bouncer now... and I am on sofa not Doing Anything - oops). Have tried to get the dc on side by joking and explaining about him feeling safe on me etc. Though have occasionally put baby down to cuddle ds/dd and ds1, in particular, has appreciated it.

Funny how you forget , isn't it? This is my third, and it still took til last week before I remembered, hang on he still just needs ME. Newborn madness... sympathies and let's try to enjoy it. Def my last!!

Flisspaps · 08/03/2011 21:13

Enjoy it. She loves you and wants to be with you :).

Even when you go for a poo

coinoperatedgirl · 08/03/2011 21:15

Have you tried swaddling when you might occasionally want a couple of hours alone? I don't get how people do this constant contact thing, I would have gone batshit crazy.

DuplicitousBitch · 08/03/2011 21:18

i used to sit on the moses basket while feeding dd and then pop her into it when the matress was warm and smelt abit like me. also put t-shirt i had been wearing on top of her.

Adair · 08/03/2011 21:22

Yup, ds is swaddled, works well. But am happy mostly pottering with ds2 in the sling. Sleep better with him by me too. Horses for courses.

dietcokeandwine · 08/03/2011 21:39

You are not creating a monster. And it won't last forever. And it is because she is so new. So don't worry.

But, if you would prefer to eventually get her to settle happily in something other than the sling, keep trying her, gently, with the moses basket, get her used to it slowly. A great tip someone gave me was to get baby used to the moses basket and cot as a nice place to be - not even somewhere to sleep, but somewhere nice to be awake in! Try feeding her, changing her nappy and then just popping her in to the basket for a few minutes whilst you wash your hands for example. Aim to do that for a few minutes each day. Like literally one or two minutes to start with. Sit next to her and sing to her, or rig her up a mobile to look at, or prop a couple of cloth books alongside her. I was amazed at how mesmerised my babies were by those sorts of things from a very young age - by 4 weeks, they were transfixed by the cot mobile, for example. And it definitely helped in terms of them settling into the basket or cot to sleep, because it became a space they were used to and happy in and comforted by.

In terms of trying to get her to sleep happily in the basket, I agree with whoever posted about using something that smells like you to help her settle. I used to spread a clean muslin square over the bedsheet, and lie on this to breastfeed DS (him lying on one half, me on the other if that makes sense). Then, when transferring him to the basket, I'd use that muslin to lie him down on - it would (a) be warm with our body heat and (b) smell like milk and mummy. Didn't always work, of course, but it definitely helped.

BarackObamasBigEars · 08/03/2011 22:01

Oh yes! Swaddling - and white noise! White noise is BRILLIANT! Just de-tune an analogue radio, but make sure you play it loud.

I found the man a little odd, and couldn't work out why anyone would hand their child over to him. But his stuff works.

megapixels · 08/03/2011 22:05

No don't even think that you are creating a monster when she is just 4 weeks old! You're doing everything right. :)

matana · 08/03/2011 22:25

Ahhhh, i am soooooooo nostalgic for those lovely, lovely days.

She's so new and she doesn't know she and mummy are separate entities yet

Enjoy! It will pass all too soon and, like me, you'll want it back again!

Original poster

debka · 09/03/2011 06:53

Thanks everyone. It will pass, won't it. She is just a rather heavy 4 wk old- 10lb 6 at birth.

She sleeps great in her basket at night so I shouldn't really complain too much.

OP posts:

franke · 09/03/2011 07:04

What everyone else said. If your back is aching, maybe you need to adjust the sling or think of a different design? Aww, I miss those early days. Really!

nooka · 09/03/2011 07:06

My dd was like this, and frankly it was awful. Her nickname was limpet, and although it is a term of affection now it certainly wasn't when she was small. dd also couldn't get to sleep unless she was being carried, and required movement (in the evening if she wasn't moving she was screaming). What made a big difference was that dh did all the late night jiggling so I got some sleep (it could take a couple of hours for her to go off) and she went back to sleep fine during the night.

But she grew out of it, and despite being an awful baby she has been fairly delightful ever since. She is still cuddly, and is generally a very gregarious person. I think she just really wasn't very happy on her own.

ds (who came first, not sure we'd have had two if it had been the other way around!) was so much easier, he liked to be swaddled, music with a loud beat, and after a while, his thumb and security blanket. He was a terrible toddler, and grew up to be an introvert, happiest doing his own thing, and can be lousy company. Rather like his parents

SpeedyGonzalez · 09/03/2011 13:04

Debka, what sling do you have? And how tightly do you tie it? The baby should be secured as closely as possible so that it's a fairly tight hug. She will let you know if she's uncomfortable, don't worry. A good sling tied too loosely will affect your back. 10lb of baby shouldn't be a problem.

When she's older I highly recommend using something like an ergo, beko or mei tei, all of which you can use to put her on your back. Takes some practice, but it's incredibly useful!

louby78 · 09/03/2011 14:08

I have this and my DS is 13 weeks. I have a karime sling and it's great - and I have a 2.5yr old DD which means I can do things with her like put her on the toilet.

I keep trying to put him in his cot and have tried every so often but he just screams and I can't dedicate the time at the moment to sitting by him soothing him so I have given up for now - we're both happier with the sling for now. I'm going to review it at 16 weeks but we're way ahead of you so don't worry, 4 weeks is so so tiny. I know it can be frustrating but just go with it.

NinkyNonker · 09/03/2011 14:53

I second the Beko recommendation. I barely notice 20lb dd in mine.

ShuffleBallChange · 12/03/2011 15:37

I am sitting here with 12 week old ds2 in babybjorn as its the only way he will sleep in the day and we co-sleep at night. When he is awake I am now able to leave him alone in pram/cot/mat for longer periods each day. I really do believe they need closeness at this young age. DS1 was sleeping all night in cot at 6 months, am aiming for the same with DS2 - I am so excited about getting my bed back in three months!!! Good luck and just keep in mind that its not forever (its the only thing keeping me sane - )

snowmummy · 12/03/2011 18:51

I'm in the same boat. 4 week DD will not be put down anywhere, anytime without shouting a lot. She used to go down in the daytime in her basket but not anymore.

I was pinning my hopes on this getting better within the next 2-4 weeks but after reading Louby's post I'm now worried!

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