Separation anxiety at naptime and bedtime

[BellyMonster]

Hi

My six month old daughter has never been the best at getting herself to sleep or staying asleep but recently it has got a lot worse. Last week I could put her down for a nap or down for the night and she'd fall asleep quite happily, generally after I'd popped in a couple of times to shhh her. But this week she completely freaks out if me or my partner leave the room once we've put her down. She calms down when we come back in but its taking forever to get her to sleep. And the more we pop in and out to try to calm her the more she screams when we leave. She's also started complaining if I leave the room in the day which she's never done before. She's completely fine with relatives and strangers.

I've been reading about separation anxiety at night and was wondering if anyone else had experience of this and how they dealt with it?

Yes, my first DD went through exactly the same thing at nap and bedtimes for a while. I can't remember what we did, but suspect it just involved going in to her and trying to calm her down. I seem to remember it lasted for about a month - that might be cold comfort to you, but it does pass.

Oh, I think I read somewhere about playing little games with them in the daytime whereby you pop them in their cot at a non-sleeping time, and just nip out of the room, saying "I'll be back soon", and then return swiftly. I suppose it's designed to teach them that you do always come back to them, because that's t he problem - she's now developed a memory and knows that when you're not around, you're missing! Smaller babies apparently don't have the cognitive skills to think about you when you're gone (although I am sure they will still cry because 'something's up', just not know what!).

Hi, I have a similar problem with my six month old son. He sleeps ok - when he falls asleep that is!

He used to get his bottle at bedtime, fall asleep and then I would 'transfer' him to his bed. Now the moment I move him to his bed he starts screaming. I usually pick him up after a while, repeat the process, ad infinitum... We can 'to and fro' like his for hours. My husband thinks I should let him scream, i tried last time but he kept screaming and screaming for an hour which felt like forever.

We picked him up anyway at the end. I have tried to look it up on the net and, like you, came along this 'separation anxiety' thing - sadly no advice apart for what we are doing already (regular bedtime routine etc.).

Anyway - this is what has worked today. I have left him screamed for a while, then came in, held him for a while and stroke his back, he calmed down, put him down awake and stayed in his room close to his bed until he fell asleep. Still sleeping now so so far so good.

I think it's so stressful and has a huge impact on us - he is so great during the day but nights can be really traumatic. I hope we can work through it with minimum upset... Hope it goes well for you too!!!!