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Original poster

12mo sleep gone to pot

10 replies

flyingcloud · 03/03/2011 21:04

I really don't know what to do here, and would appreciate advice from across the spectrum.

DD has always been a good night-time sleeper, although a bad day-time sleeper.

Two weeks ago, nearly three now, she got a cold and spent one very wakeful night, crying a lot due to excess snot.

Five days ago that turned into bronchitis and she woke up several times in the night, this went on for three nights. She would wake up crying and would calm down as soon as DH or I went in. We tried cuddling and rocking her (cleaning her nose, etc) but she would squirm and fight as soon as we put her down. Usually after two hours she would finally fall asleep.

Two nights ago I decided to do what someone on my post-natal thread calls a 'reboot'. I turned on the nightlight, got her out of bed, put her on my knee and read her a story. She calmed down and when I put her back in bed with the book she gabbled away to herself for a while and then fell asleep.

Last night she went to bed fine and slept through.

Tonight she has refused to go to sleep. DH and I tried cuddles - but the same again, she squirmed, screamed and fought as soon as we put her back down again. After an hour I tried the reboot trick - but I could see she was wound up at this stage and she started screaming as soon as I put her back in bed.

So we left her cry Sad Sad(I should point out that as soon as we go into her room she starts bouncing up and down and gurgling away so I don't think there is anything wrong with her, she hasn't had a fever for two days and she is generally in very, very good form).

I feel terrible for letting her cry if she is going through some real separation anxiety, but just didn't know what to do. She cried for 10 mins before going to sleep

I am not sure I did the right thing and wonder if anyone had any advice on how to react with the next wake up or if she won't go to sleep again.

OP posts:
PinkToeNails · 03/03/2011 21:52

Flyingcloud....I need help on this too. Teething wrecked her sleeping. I bought Elizabeth Pantley's book but I haven't put it into practice yet and she sleeps with us every night. I know it's a bad idea...

Have you read the No Cry Sleep Solution?

PenguinArmy · 04/03/2011 00:08

tbh that doesn't sound too bad to me.

10 mins isn't that long.

DD also is not soothed by cuddles that often, it normally gets her more worked up. Although in the middle of night, lying with DH helps her.

The fact that she slept through only the other day is good news isn't it?

No real advice I'm afraid. If DD is suitably distracted she'll go off by herself, otherwise a bit of crying is inevitable. Other things we try apart from the light on, is one of her frozen toys to chew on, taking her into the other room for a few mins and just sitting there. Generally though DH tries to settle her by lying with her first or I feed her. She seems to go through cycles of what works, if she doesn't resettle straight away then one of the reboot techniques is used. Cradling her does not work at all.

Original poster
flyingcloud · 04/03/2011 07:10

Thanks, and thank you PA, I felt so bad leaving her to cry, but if you say ten mins is not so long....

She's just so bloody grumpy right now.

OP posts:
SchrodingersCatFliesToOz · 04/03/2011 08:17

Both DDs cried more if I am in the room, rocking them or holding them. If I let them cry, they calm down.
It doesn't sounds like separation anxiety. It looks like she rather play with you than go to bed.
If I were you I would let her (10 min is not that long for a 1 yo).

She might get over stimulated quite easily and need time alone in the dark to get to sleep (like DD1 did).

can you get a walk outside for 20 min at bedtime and leave your DH with her?
good luck for tonight.

SchrodingersCatFliesToOz · 04/03/2011 11:11

I forgot to mention DD1 was crying because she wanted to sleep, so the best was to let her to it even if it took 20 min. Otherwise it would take 20 min on top of every time you went back to her to 'comfort' her. In the end she would be overtired, I would be wreck and crying with her.
It did stop after a while, she would talk to herself until she fell asleep (may be 1.5?)
DD2 is crying because I leave her and she would rather stay with us, it last about 1 min and then she moans, and chats to her teddies.
I don't think you can ever put them to bed, without a little crying.
I still put DD2 already asleep in bed at least 2/3 per week.

There is different crying too, if it is distress I always go to them straight away, if complaint or anger I let them at least 10 min before going. I am not going at all if it starts calming on its own.

InmaculadaConcepcion · 04/03/2011 12:11

Ten mins doesn't sound too bad, fc...especially if she was "grumbling" and "protesting" rather than doing melt-down crying...

My DD likewise tends to get worse if we cuddle her (although unlike Shro's DDs, she will quite often go down at bedtime without crying....)and sometimes leaving her for a bit results in her settling herself back to sleep more quickly than if we intervened.

You may have to steel yourself against a bit of protest crying until she gets the message that it's sleep time....

SconesForTea · 04/03/2011 13:58

Another one who thinks 10 minutes isn't too bad I'm afraid... Especially as I have lain in bed listening to poor DD scream for 45 minutes at night (when I have been sleep-deprived to the extent that leaving her was the only option I could manage Sad).

You know it's protest crying because as soon as you go into the room she stops and is fine with you. I would say if she settles down to sleep after 10 minutes you are doing exactly the right thing, which is sending her the strong signal that it's bedtime and she has to go to sleep. Smile

Fingers crossed for tonight.

ChestnutSoup · 04/03/2011 14:47

If it's separation anxiety, you could try sitting with her for a few minutes and do a gradual withdrawal. With both my DDs, this involves the first night sitting next to the cot with a hand on her until she is drifting off, with shushing if she protests (usually 10 minutes).

The next night we just sit next to the cot (no hand on top), shushing if needed.

The following night, I sit on the floor at the foot of the cot where she can see me.

The night after, in the doorway where she can't see me.

The following night, outside the door so I can shush if required.

Often we skip straight from the first night to the last night! To my way of thinking, she knows that we're there and it makes her feel more secure and over the course of a few nights she feels more confident and less anxious about it.

Like IC mine both usually go to bed with no crying (DD2 is so keen on her cot, she starts trying to climb in). We get the odd protest cry, but like others before me, I can definitely tell the difference between that and when I need to go in.

Hope something on this thread helps - please let us know x

StoneBaby · 04/03/2011 18:53

Hello all Feb 10!!!

I also agree with all the others (but I did control-crying with DS).
DS also moans cry when I put him down to bed but settles down quickly after that.

ChestnutSoup · 05/03/2011 14:21

I should add that I always try and put down awake and leave straightaway. I only do the above if needed!

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