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4am again!

11 replies

Newbabynewmum · 01/03/2011 04:27

Just need something to do!

Awake again at 4am and my 5mo DD is showing no signs of wanting to go back to sleep yet!

Please tell me there's other people out there like me?

I'd never admit it in RL but I think I've done it wrong. Only once - a few days ago - did she go to sleep on her own with no help. Unless she's in the car or pram she feeds to sleep 90% of the time. How on earth do I change this? I don't have a clue! If I do try to leave her to go to sleep on her own we just have frustration and tears - I am not a fan of CC.

Help!

OP posts:
TanteRose · 01/03/2011 04:36

what are you not admitting in RL?? that your baby wakes up at 4am? that she feeds to sleep?

this is all VERY normal - she is still TINY! just go with what works and relax a bit more.

you hear of people who start CC or similar, and then say that several months later, it finally worked! no it didn't...the baby just developed as normal and started to settle naturally.

My two DCs were fed to sleep until they stopped breastfeeding - DD was 17 months, and DS was 3 years. It was a lovely, relaxing way to end the day.

I know that being awake at 4am is not relaxing, but there is not really much you can do, so try and make it as easy as possible for both of you. Feed her if she wants, snuggle down together and try and snooze a bit at least Smile

you are doing great - just keep telling yourself, its just a phase...until the next phase! Grin

Newbabynewmum · 01/03/2011 04:43

I'm not admitting that I've done it wrong! I hate admitting that.

Thanks for your advice. I just feel like a bit of a failure when all our baby friends say their babies go to sleep on their own and sleep through etc!

OP posts:
TanteRose · 01/03/2011 04:45

they are lying Grin Grin

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 01/03/2011 05:28

I have mum friends whose babies genuinely did sleep through from, like, eight weeks.

And then they stopped doing so, and by about a year old we'd all had the same bouts of good sleep/bad sleep overall.

It's not that linear. Also, I have a theory that good sleepers make horrible teenagers. I have no basis for this theory, but it makes me feel better.

Five months is tiny. She'll learn to sleep on her own. You've done nothing wrong, you've just helped lull her to sleep in nice warm comforting ways; just think what good things that must be doing to her brain, to be able to slip into sleep while being held and warm and drinking yummy milk.

mdavza · 01/03/2011 06:24

You're doing NOTHING wrong, you're just being a good, normal mummy. Give your lo loads of cuddles and know that it will pass!

pommedeterre · 01/03/2011 08:00

Tortoiseonthehalfshell - ha, I have that theory about good eaters/milk drinkers too.
Don't do cc yet. If you still feel you have to when she's older then that's a different matter but she's so little now.

ongakgak · 01/03/2011 08:06

Feeding to sleep- totally normal.

My DS would sleep say from 7ish-11pm, then feed, then again at one'ish, then invariably I would pull him into bed with me, where he would feed on and off till 8am. If I left him in his moses basket he would wake every hour. Just saying, you do whatever gets you through.

5m is titchy, so just try and go with the flow, and those babies who sleep through- an urban myth!

littleomar · 01/03/2011 08:07

get sky+. when mine was that age we came down and watched pineapple dance studios in the middle of the night.

ShushBaby · 01/03/2011 08:32

Now that I have a year of parenting under my belt, I have to suppress a guffaw when anyone with a baby under, well, a year, says that their baby has started sleeping through now, in a "job done" sort of way.

As a poster above says, every single baby I know, even those that were freakishly good sleepers to begin with, has been through some sort of hideous and long-winded sleep regression before the year is out.

My own baby generally sleeps through now (so it does get better!), but it chops and changes all the time. She will self settle beautifully for weeks at a time, then suddenly need us to stand over her at bedtime til she stops shrieking drops off. She will do glorious 11 hour stretches- then go through a week of being up for 45 minutes in the evening.

Who knows if it's teething, a gripey tummy, or just her amazing baby brain growing and whirring. But it is normal.

People just don't talk about this stuff. Once their baby has slept through a few times, that's what they see as the norm (I do this too).

I think there is a huge pressure to have a 7-7 baby and it naffs me off no end. Because what does it really mean? That your baby is superior? That your parenting is superior? No!

It saddens me that so many parents, me included, feel they are doing something wrong when all they are doing is trying to be a great mum or dad to their lo.

Your baby is not going to put "slept through the night at x months old" on their cv. Don't beat yourself up!

Newbabynewmum · 01/03/2011 08:55

I've just ordered sky! Thanks. I don't mind the lack of sleep even - I don't get too tired.

It is just everyone else boasting & seemingly thinking their way is superior. The amout of rubbish advice I get! I'm just waiting for them to all have sleep regression now! Hahaaa

OP posts:
mumatron · 01/03/2011 09:10

my dd is exactly the same. no matter what time she goes to sleep or what time she has her last feed she is always awake at 4am.

she generally stay's up for an hour then goes to sleep until 7.30am.

i have given up trying to get her back to sleep and i just bring her downstairs, put her in her swing while i watch 4 weddings usa and maury the news.

and i'm pretty sure most those people saying the lo's sleep through are either lying or exaggerating. a mum i know told everyone her baby slept through from birth. of course she didn't count the 3 feeds her ds was having through the night as he went straight back to sleep after each one Hmm

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