Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Sleep

Join our Sleep forum for tips on creating a sleep routine for your baby or toddler. Need more advice on your childs development? Sign up to our Ages and Stages newsletter here.

I'm told "just a phase" but when will it end?????

2 replies

Curlysoo · 22/02/2011 10:52

Hi, this is my first post on any such site but my issue is anything but new. My son was 1 on Valentine's day and I can honestly say that since the middle of November I can count on one hand the number of times that he has slept through the night. Before this time he was such a good sleeper which makes the current time seem like a step backwards in his development and is disappointing.
He currently wakes 3 or 4 times a night in quite a state (purple face, pulling his ears, biting down like a horse on the side of his cot as he stands and stamps on the mattress). I have chosen not to go back to work and I am the one that goes to him when he wakes - my husband has to leave for work early and I could not in good conscious let him drive bleary eyed on the motorway at 7am. When my husband does try to help at the weekend it is of little consequence as he doesn't seem to settle for anyone else but me! My husband thinks that I like this fact and perhaps I do deep down, in fact I hope that he is always able to see me as a source of comfort but at times when I go to him and pick him up to soothe him in the middle of the night I can see him smile in the mirror as he nuzzles into my chest and I feel manipulated. Of course I love my son to the core of my bones but I cannot say that I like him very much at these times. I have fiddled around with his eating timetable to include a supper so I do not believe that he is waking up hungry but a feed is the only thing that seems to placate him sometimes.
Am I going mad or am I just the devil incarnate for having any negative thoughts about him??

OP posts:
Chil1234 · 22/02/2011 11:43

I defy anyone to be sleep-deprived and not harbour negative thoughts towards the one causing it! :) If he's chewing his cot rail it could be that he's teething. Have you tried Calpol or similar? Alternatively, if you lie him back down quietly with a few shushes he'll still have the comfort of you being there but not the full-on cuddling etc.... which can be over-stimulating, ironically.

PukeyMummy · 22/02/2011 13:07

Don't worry about your negative thoughts too much, unless they get out of control and become more than just fleeting thoughts, in which case you should seek help.

In my experience as a mum (and this is my non-medical opinion), fleeting love/hate thoughts about your DC are perfectly normal. It's just that no one ever talks about the bad thoughts. It's supposed to be unconditional love. Bullsh*t!

If your DS is depriving you of sleep, it's no wonder you feel like this. Believe me, the frustrations grow in the toddler years...

As for the waking, it does sound like teething so don't be afraid to reach for the Calpol (we find Nurofen for kids a bit stronger). When he wakes in the night, don't make too much of a fuss of him, try to be nice but firm (no cuddles, no feed).

We made the mistake of feeding DD during the night when she woke and it wasn't until we cut the night feeds that she started to sleep properly again.

And if the negative thoughts do start to increase, go to your GP.

Good luck x

New posts on this thread. Refresh page