Have you got Penelope Leach nearby? urgent!

[Elf]

DH and I are planning to do P Leach's going to bed thing for our dd nearly 2 years old. This evening. Trouble is, DH read PL and now the book is with the removal men. I feel like I know enough and that the main idea is that you go in every 3 mins to settle the poor thing, but if anyone has the book now and could tell me anything I need to know that would be greaT. I 've only just thought of asking you people and I have to leave this cafe in 15 mins oh dear. Thanks in advance.

Sorry Elf, not got it here at work, not even sure I can remember the details. Good luck, keep persevering, and whatever you do don't sit downstairs looking at the clock and waiting for three mins to be up. Start making a list now of things that take around three min to do or could be broken into chunks - clearing table, washin up, etc (more physical the better IMO). Its lots worse for you than your DD, she will still ove you in the morning, believe me!!!

It's the Controlled Comforting thing, isn't it? I think you have it right: Every three minutes, until they settle down and sleep. The idea is to re-assure them that they are not abandoned, and that there is nothing to be afraid of, but to let them know that Mummy and Daddy are really not at all interesting to be with or play with at that time of night. That's what I remember form it, anyway. You don't get them out or hold them, just a kiss and 'goodnight', I think.

Would be really interested to hear how you got on with the Penelope Leach approach. We sort of started trying it on our 13 month old. She had been going to sleep like a dream for months and months, after being made drowsy by a breastfeed and then sleeping through 11-12 hours. But in the last few weeks she started screaming her head off when I left the room - not every night, but fairly regularly. We tried the Penelope Leach, going back in every 3 - 5 minutes, with dd going ever more beserk. Eventually she does drop off, but 3 weeks on we're still having trouble getting her to sleep on occasion, plus for the first time since she was 4 months old she is now waking in the night, screaming her head off.

To be honest I've rather given in, as I find if I go in and cuddle her for two minutes then put her down again she will generally scream for a minute and then settle herself. Whereas following P Leach's advice not to pick the baby up etc seemed to just make her more and more irate.

Feeling very miffed, as I thought we'd cracked the sleep thing, eith our lovely sleeping baby for all those months!! Just goes to show - don't ever get smug.

I found going in just stirred ds up more and more until he was frenzied. In the end it was kinder to leave him (he was 8months!) and he settled in around 20mins and then learned to sleep through (bliss!).

Thanks for the comments. It went very well actually. As dd is 23 months, I sat her on my lap and told her what I was going to do, ie not lie on the floor!! and would be leaving the room. I gave her a teddy and put her into bed with kisses etc.

She cried for 3 mins, I went back and said firmly that I knew she could do it and she was a good girl. She cried for 3 secs and that was it! Next night seh cried for 3 secs, and since then she has been fine.

But Pidge, I don't think it was P leach's success, I just think that dd was ready to go to sleep by herself after all, she just needed to be shown that. I have heartfelt sympathy for you over the phases thing. Months of bliss and then problems, I guesss that is the way of it sometimes.

Following this success we decided yesterday to try the same thing with dd's daytime nap. As things are a bit shitty at the moment with moving and everything soon we decided to only do 3 x 3 mins as we weren't up to a full scaled attempt. It didn't work. So for the moment dh is still going round the block with the pram after lunch. WE'll try again another time! I just think they are a law unto themselves.