5 week old will only sleep in our arms - is this normal

[myrtlemaggot]

DS2 will be 5 weeks old on Sunday morning and since we came home from hospital he has refused to sleep anywhere other than in someone's arms. If we wait until he is in a seemingly deep sleep and then attempt to put him in his moses basket he wakes within 5 minutes every time. As a result we are co-sleeping and while I don't mind this at the moment I don't want to be doing so in the long term, and would like to start a proper bed time routine in the next three or four weeks. Is this normal and will it sort itself out in the next couple of months or do I need to take some action, and if so what? DS1 was always happy to sleep in his moses basket or cot, although was a rubbish sleeper in many other ways!

I think you have to encourage him to sleep away from you. Some people like slings as it retains contact, but I would have found that very restricting personally. Make sure he is nicely warm and tightly wrapped when you put him down so that he still 'feels' like he's being held. Put rolled up blankets down the sides of the basket so that he feels secure. Some love the freedom of kicking their legs in a cot or a basket, others find it bewildering.

Take some action, the longer you leave it, the more difficult it will be.

@aviatrix... so 'evolutionary speaking' a mother is meant to have her arms taken up with a baby all day long? How did we manage to survive if we couldn't do anything else?

If you realy need to be able to put him down to sleep-which is of course up to you and you only, then a good tip is to put a hot water bottle in his basket while you cuddle him and wrap him in a blanket that you have had close to you (so it has your milky smells) obviously remove the hot water bottle when you put baby in!

Swaddling always worked for me when I needed to put mine down but tbh in those early weeks I did alot of cuddling!

Another vote for swaddling here! Mine needed to be trussed up like a chicken before she would be put down!

We had this with DD and it was a nightmare at the time. I just put her in a sling when she was tired - got quite good at doing housework/shopping etc with her in it. At night she slept in our bed with me and DH was in spare room. Eventually got her into her cot by moving it next to the bed. Then at end of bedroom then in her room. From 5 months old though she has been a brilliant sleeper - so although it was a nightmare at first she is a happy and easy to look after girl now (4 years old). Do what feels right for you and remember that it won't last for ever although it feels that way now

Thanks for the suggestions, I am off to try swaddling, hot water bottles and rolled up blankets now! Aviatrix - I'm not trying to do anything too drastic or against evolution here and am quite happy to do a lot of cuddling, just wondering if I could make some very gentle changes that would allow me to occasionally eat a meal with both hands, and get the odd load of washing done.
Thanks again for the help.

And no prizes for guessing which friend you think is the better parent, eh?

Oh bless, i think it's normal. My DS loved his cuddles early on and sometimes wouldn't settle anywhere else - he just wanted love and closeness. I was told off by well meaning friends who said he needed to cry it out without being picked up etc which used to drive me mad. They're of the Gina Ford school of thought.

Once he was a bit older he slept anywhere, any time, any how and is now a fantastic sleeper! I don't believe you're making a rod for your own back - it's too early for that. I wouldn't let it go on longer than about 12 weeks - when babies get more set in their ways. You could try a bit of gentle sleep training from 6-8 weeks onwards. Start with the bedtime routine and the daytime will sort itself out more easily.

I co-slept (for other reasons) at first and stopped from around 8 weeks, which is when my DS's night time discomfort stopped.

I spent a week of unsuccessfully and desperately trying to get our DS to sleep in his moses basket when we got back from hospital, tried swaddling, hot water bottles, white noise, the works. I eventually stopped fighting it and decided to cosleep as safely as I could. However, we have recently got him sleeping in his moses basket at night - he is now 3 months. I don't know if it would have worked earlier!
In case it helps, here is what worked for us:

• I had the moses basket right next to the bed with the head elevated and with something called a Snuggle Pod between two rolled up blankets
• I started putting DS in it after the middle of night feeds rather than for the first sleep of the evening as he was definitely already sleepy then.
• I'd put him in sshing as I did. I'd then put a hot water bottle filled with cold water on top of his legs to stop him moving them, do up the Snuggle Pod and then put my hand on top of him, holding down both his arms, continuing sshing while I did this. He'd wake up as I did this and grizzle for less than a minute but then calm down and after a few minutes fall asleep.
• I'd continue sshing and keeping my hand there (I'd be lying in bed as I did this) until he had moved into deeper sleep, often for a good 20 minutes when I first started doing it.

Still working on getting naps in the moses basket rather than the sling...