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Is this dangerous?

6 replies

stillfrazzled · 14/02/2011 07:30

(Sorry for no paras, posting from rubbish phone) Had horrible scary start with ds2 - born 5 wks prem and growth restricted, 3 weeks in scbu. Been home 3 weeks and doing well, but he's vv windy and will often only settle on or near me at night. This morning woke up with him next to me but duvet tented over him. Wasn't touching his face but sick to think I might have risked his life. Any advice?

OP posts:
stillfrazzled · 14/02/2011 07:33

Should add that dh not comfortable with co-sleeping due to smothering fears, which I do partly share - but am bf and so bloody tired I just keep falling asleep so is happening by default.

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 14/02/2011 07:35

It's not recommended as it could cause the baby to overheat but I think it has happened to everyone!
Congratulations on your baby - can you look into co sleeping safely - what works for me is get rid of duvet, wear a thick dressing gown with blanket over my feet and blanket for the baby, should be OK now weather has picked up.
What I don't know is if co sleeping is recommended for prem babies - please check that out first

StealthPolarBear · 14/02/2011 07:37

sorry x posted with that
co sleeping might help with the extreme tiredness though, but f you are not comfortable then don't, obviously
Maybe look into a sidecar (??) cot- that way you are next to the baby but no chance of rolling on him

mrsravelstein · 14/02/2011 07:37

my 3dc all co slept, but second 2 were happier in their sleeping bags on top of the covers next to me.

stillfrazzled · 14/02/2011 07:49

Stealth, thank you for making me feel less panicky! Think I need to get better at folding cover out of way - can't get rid completely because I need to co sleep with dh ;-) Mrsrav, sleeping bags a good idea but ds2 still not 5lbs yet so will have to wait a while.

OP posts:
matana · 16/02/2011 09:49

Sorry in advance for the long post. But i am sick of mothers being made to feel like bad parents for co-sleeping when i believe it can be so beneficial.

I agree that you should check re. prem babies.

I had exactly this with my DS (the wind and discomfort) and the only way he could be comfortable was lying on his tummy. I didn't want to put him down in his moses basket on his tummy, but felt comfortable sleeping with him on my chest. I used to push the duvet down and cover us with a single blanket instead. I won't lie, i used to worry about SIDS initiallyt primarily because co-sleeping isn't 'the done thing' in the UK based on the advice. But when i looked into it further i stopped worrying. Even my health visitor said "whatever you need to do to get him through this period with your sanity intact, do it - trust your instinct even if that means co-sleeping".

Here are a few things about co-sleeping and SIDS that are not well publicised:

Co-sleeping SIDS deaths in the UK are mostly extremely tired parents falling asleep on the sofa with their baby. The incidence of SIDS deaths in parents beds are actually very few - around 1% i think (there are around 300 SIDS deaths in the UK each year). Clearly if you and your baby are getting a reasonably good night's sleep in bed together then you won't be overtired in the first place.

Co-sleeping is more risky if you or your partner drink, take drugs or smoke.

Co-sleeping is accepted, and encouraged, in many cultures. In co-sleeping cultures where drug taking/ alcohol consumption is more prevalent SIDS rate is quite high. In cultures where drug taking and alcohol consumption is low, SIDS rate is low. Spot the common theme?

Do it safely, use your common sense and it will be fine i'm sure. And don't go down the 'risking his life' route. You're a great mum for worrying in the first place. My DH has let my DS slip under the water in the bath twice now. Apart from a bit of coughing and spluttering he was fine. No harm done.

Ditch the duvet and take up the blanket (or a grobag when he's big enough and put him on top of the duvet). Push the pillows well out of the way and always make sure your partner knows he's in the bed. And keep trying to settle him in his basket at his last feed just in case one night he's improved enough to tolerate it.

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