HELP- my 13 wk old won't nap!!!

[SquashedPea]

Wondering if anyone can offer me some advice. DS is 13 weeks old and has never really slept well in the day. He will nod off in the car for a bit but that's about it. After feeding sometimes he will sleep on me but wakes when I move. The only way he will sleep at home is if I feed him in my bed by dangling boob into his mouth and then creep off the bed. Obviously far from ideal from SIDS perspective but I am desparate.

I guess this wouldnt be such a problem but for the fact that he is so obviously tired!! Feel so sorry for him but I don't know how to help him get off to sleep without boob or car.

When he looks tired I put him into his cot (which he sleeps well in at night), he continues to look tired but fights it and ends up getting more and more irate. I've tried PUPD, pat shush and leaving him to cry (sorry haters) but nothing works and I eventually give in.

To top it all his night sleep is also deteriorating but I feel this may be due to chronic overtiredness.

On days when we're out and about, and he can nap en route, he is a perfect gurgling happy baby. I just want to help him nap at home during the day as he is so cranky and unhappy a lot of the time and I know this is due to lack of sleep.

Hoping someone somewhere can help me!!!!

How long did you try shush pat for? I understand over three months using it for every sleep consistently for several days, is what it will take to undo 'bad habits', i.e. only able to feed to sleep.

This is what I'm trying in any case for similar reasons and, 5 days in we are getting there, I have not fed to sleep once since and she's going down faster. DD is 18.5 wks

www.babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=26671.0

Poor you. Long walk in a lie-flat pram? (i,e not a car seat on wheels?)

Some babie fight going to sleep and you basically have to try every trick in the book to get them to go down and stay snoozing! I second the long walk in a pram... fresh air and movement knocks them out normally. Friends of mine swore by the Graco swing. Find something that works because there's nothing worse than an overtired baby.

Ooh, watching with interest as I have the same problem and DD is similar age. Only thing I have managed, as others have suggested, is a long walk and the flat pram works a lot better than the car seat (maybe less to see?). I agree, it wouldn't be a problem if they didn't seem tired but do, and by 6 pm are unbearably cranky... Sometimes DD will have a short nap in a sling, have you tried that?

Thanks for responses. He does usually get off to sleep in the pram it's just I really want him to be able to nap at home. Invariably as soon as we get home he us awake again within minutes. Sometimes I am able to sustain his slumber by putting a sheet over the pram and turning on the extractor fan.

Right, tomorrow is a new day and I'm going to give pat shush another go. He just seems to get more and more furious. Do I still continue even when he's red in the face and rigid? And how long to go on for? He can easily still be going after 45mins?

I remember seeing my friend with a 'red in the face and rigid' baby, hugging her tight in and rocking her quite vigorously side to side until the screaming finally stopped and the baby gave in!!! The 'furious' bit is because they're tired. So why they keep yelling and don't just switch off and sleep is a constant mystery :)

BTW have you tried leaving the pram outside when you get back? (Somewhere you can see it obviously) Bit cold and damp at the moment, admittedly but fresh air and a bit of ambient birdsong etc. is very soothing.

Boob in your bed sounds fine to me. Have you tried a sling?

Sling works ok sometimes but only if I'm on the move. As soon as I sit down he's awake again. He also tries to latch on if I put him in the slung when tired. I blame myself for this as I think I have frequently taken his tired cues for hungry ones and previously put him to the nip at the slightest murmur. As a result, now this is what he wants to get to sleep. Im as sure as I can be that it's not hunger at these times as he is quite happy to go 2-3 hours between feeds as long as he is rested and weight gain is good along with vital nappy signs.

SquashedPea we could be talking about the same baby I think! Its incredibly frustrating, isn't it, when they get more and more tired and refuse to sleep. I tried pat shush for about a week twice a day but had probably a 25% success rate in getting her off to sleep. For me, sleep in the day has got worse and worse since she was 8 weeks old. I have bought the No Cry Nap Solution book and if I ever get a chance to read it (!) am hoping it might have some new suggestions for me... I'll let you know if I find anything that works.

My DD is almost 12 weeks and is exactly the same. I only wish I could advise you, instead of empathise!

We have the same right into the evening but she is a great night sleeper in her own cot. One thing that gives me some much needed time with DD1 & time to prepare for the day is that I either wake her or feed her at around 7am, still swaddled, in dark bedroom, don't talk to her etc and then put straight back in cot. She sleeps until 1030 most mornings. To her, it seems an extension of the night. Buys a bit of quiet time in daylight hours!

Because I've also got DD1 milling about trying to help and also making heaps of racquet in a small house, daytime naps at home seem as though they will never ever happen here!! It's very frustrating, isn't it. DD2 has started to work herself into an absolute frenzy the last day or two because of this over- tiredness. I do feel your pain.

It's a bit of a vicious cycle mentally, for me, as I'm never sure if I'm contributing by not setting a (doomed to fail) routine each day with naps & putting her into cot and keeping at it. I feel so beaten already that I don't try half the time as it never works! I think they're too young, personally, for hardcore sleep 'training' but if we don't have any cot napping by 6 months, I might have to start a more strict approach! For now, I feel like it's best to ride it out (literally, on many car trips!) and almost stop 'wishing' for it as all babies are not the same & we just happen to have ones who set their own rules on this matter!!