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Sleep

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Original poster

How to get a 20 week old back on a 3 then 4 hour feeding schedule at night

20 replies

BoSho · 09/02/2011 18:39

It was all going so well. DS was going to bed at 7, then waking at 11, 4 and 7 for feeds (he's exclusively BF). Then it all started going wrong. I've had a terrible couple of weeks, with DS sleeping from 7 to 10 or 11, but then waking every 2 hours and now every hour in the night to feed. It all started when he had a stomach bug and I fed him to make him better. Then it carried on, and I was worried about stopping incase he was going through a growth spurt. Then I read about 4 month sleep regression and thought I would ride it out and hope it will stop. Then my mum came to stay and I went to the health visitor, and they're both telling me that I have created a habit and I need to reduce the feeds to every 3 hours and then every 4 in the night. Does this sound right?

Feeding during the daytime is fine. He feeds every 3 hours (sometimes 2.5) and although he gets distracted, I ensure he gets a good feed each time, so I don't think he's making up for feeds in the night.

As a bit of background into his weight, he's a massive puker, and has been on the lower average line since a month old, so I have been worried that he isn't getting enough, but I just went to the health visitor, and instead of losing weight as is normal at 4 months apparently, he now weighs 6.8kg (due to me overfeeding him)

So, my question is, how do I reduce the feeds in the night? I want to start tonight, but I'm dreading it. I guess I'll just have to hug him (for 2 hours!) until the 3 hours are up, and then feed him, right? Then when that works, reduce it to 4 hours. Is this practical? I don't know what else to do so just want some advice/ moral support really. I absolutely don't want to do CC.

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plasticface · 09/02/2011 18:46

This happened to my dd around 20 weeks, I told friends and they suggested putting her in her own room. I did and she slept till 6am straight off! It may have been a coincidence though....?

Flisspaps · 09/02/2011 18:53

Or it could be the four month sleep regression.

I didn't think it was possible to overfeed a BF baby.

ginger2000 · 09/02/2011 18:54

Am going to be of no help as my dd2 is doing exactly the same! am exhausted! I try settling first but end up feeding if that doesn't work.
we are moving in 2 wks and she is going in her own room as i'm sure we wake her. i hope i get the same result as your friend plasticface!

Original poster

BoSho · 09/02/2011 19:23

Mmh, thanks plasticface, I had thought about that, but was worried about SIDs. We don't drink (at all at the mo) or smoke though, so I guess that isn't too much of a worry. God I sound like such a wimp, but I'm not sure I'm brave enough to put him in his own room yet. Was it tough? Maybe I should try it tonight? Or I might do as my mum suggests and move the cot away from the bed to the other side of the room. Could that work?

Flisspapa That's what I was thinking, but there's no fixing that is there, so I hope not. Great name BTW ;)

ginger2000 I feel your pain. Hope moving works.

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Original poster

BoSho · 09/02/2011 19:59

Forgot to say, he also started rolling over this week. That's classic sleep regression stuff isn't it? If so, it's still OK to wait 3 hours before feeding isn't it, and not cruel? Please let it be fixable. I'm not too tired because I can sleep when he does, but I have barely any time to do anything (including eat!) during the day.

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Flisspaps · 09/02/2011 20:06

BoSho Just to say, (apart from thanks ) we moved DD into her own room at 6 months and she's still up at 11pm and 3am (ish)

If I were in your shoes, I would be feeding whenever I/DS wanted and not necessarily when the HV said.

jazzandh · 09/02/2011 20:28

Sounds to me like your DS is overtired and is unable to settle well enough at night. If you can fix the overtiredness, he should sleep through.

I suspect that the sickness bug and now the extra feeding has disrupted his sleep to the extent that he is chronically overtired, and I would personally work on that rather than worry too much about the feeding.

For the time being I would do whatever it takes to get him back to sleep as quickly as possible, maximise daytime naps too and ensure he gets some early nights.

In my experience with DS1 (now 6) and now DS2, it takes about 3 days of concerted effort to recover the "sleep equilibrium"!

rearfacingcarseats5timessafer · 09/02/2011 20:29

Hello, This all sounds like my DD, she got into the habit of feeding often in the night after beening ill over christmas, ( not so bad for me as we co-sleep) but it was clear to me that she was feeding for comfort and not hunger.
I did not want to move her out of our room or do CC.
Like your DS she was waking up at around 10pm for her first top up, so i just cuddled her in bed with me for 30 minutes and then fed her, i found then that on the next night she did wake a little later, after a couple of days we had the first wake up at 1pm, we slowly increased the time between feeds.
Now at 7 months we are giving up feeding at night and she is in her cot, she still wakes but a hug and some water help settle her again.

rearfacingcarseats5timessafer · 09/02/2011 20:31

being!!!!!!!!!

MoonUnitAlpha · 09/02/2011 20:35

You can't overfeed a breastfed baby so don't worry about that!

I did something similar around 22 weeks - ds needed the breast to get back to sleep rather than because he was hungry, so DP started rocking him to sleep at bedtime instead of me feeding him. When he woke in between feed times in the night, DP rocked him back to sleep. Within a couple of weeks he started only waking for feeds.

I found it didn't work for me to try to settle ds withot feeding, because he just found it distressing for me to refuse a feed. However, he was quite happy for DP to rock/cuddle him, as he wasn't expecting a feed from him.

Original poster

BoSho · 09/02/2011 20:39

Flisspaps 11 and 3 would be fine at this stage, but I don't really want to move him yet if I'm honest.

Jazzandh Interesting. Makes sense, but not sure how I can fix the overtiredness. Any tips? He sleeps well during the day (1 to 1.5 hours about 3 or 4 times a day) and goes down fine in the evenings. I guess I should just rock him to sleep when he wakes in the night?

rearfacingcarseat Sounds like a good plan. Did your DD accept 30 mins of sleep before feeding? How on earth did you do that?!

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rearfacingcarseats5timessafer · 09/02/2011 20:58

BoSho DD was fine with 30 minutes of hugs, and she even did go back to sleep on some nights, for an hour or so.
I came up with 30 minutes because thats all i could cope with ,DD is number 3 and every second of sleep is needed.

Original poster

BoSho · 09/02/2011 21:49

Hi again Moonunit you keep coming to my rescue. That sounds like a great solution. Unfortunately, DH is working like crazy at the mo (he's a freelancer), and sleeping in the spare room, so not sure it's practical for me to ask him to do the rocking for now. I think that might be the way forward though.

Thanks rearfacing might try that one. Sounds like the nicest one with the least impact at the mo, assuming he'll let me that is.

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moflee57 · 10/02/2011 14:56

This was uncannily like reading an account of my dc - timimgs and everything. Exactly the same thing. If its any consolation at all as of exactly a week ago it all reverted back to normal and I did nothing differently - just worried and worried and worried until it did! I'm now convinced that it was 4 month sleep regression. He is 22 weeks now and it all started about 4 weeks ago - finished 1 week ago. Just sending you some 'it may be over soon vibes' It is shocking feeding hourly isn't it? I even moved my DH out to spare bed so we could at least get some space to feed - he's back now!

Original poster

BoSho · 10/02/2011 15:57

Thanks for the moral support moflee. Good to know there's a possible end in sight. So did you just ride it out and feed? I miss my DH :(

Last night he fed at 6, 10, 2, 5 and then 7, so better already. Hopefully this is the start of something new.

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moflee57 · 10/02/2011 16:36

During the hourly night wake period I kept resolving to rock. or shush or dummy to sleep every evening but would lose it and give in every night - I was just so shattered - at least if I gave him what he wanted I could doze feed a bit and it wasn't quite so torturous. I suppose I was also worried that if I didn't I was denying him food he needed because he'd been ill...also suspicions of growth spurts..etc etc..sure you know what I mean - its not like he was feeding for comfort - he was really going for it. I did just ride it out and honestly last night for example: bed 7pm, wake 10.30pm for feed, then 2pm then 6am. A week ago bed 7pm, wake 10, 11, 12, 1 and so on till 7...crazy! He does tend to feed 2 hourly during the day mind you now...you could try upping day feeda a little..might help. Good luck BoSho - I really sympathise - it's like your living a half life when you're this tired...big hug to you and fingers and toes crossed for light at the end of the tunnel!

Original poster

BoSho · 10/02/2011 22:16

Thanks moflee, really sweet of you. Interesting to know that all the bad things we're not supposed to do (it's like I'm back at school, where the Baby Whisperer is the headmistress!) are OK. Really glad you got yours back on track. I reckon we're almost there, and I feel much more positive since speaking to you guys on here.

OP posts:

moflee57 · 11/02/2011 07:31

my baby whisperer is waiting for the bin man

sedgiebaby · 11/02/2011 12:06

Oh my I could have written your post right down to, age, weight issues from day one and a bug a few weeks ago and feeding and feeding and increased awakenings, putting it down to 4 month sleep regressing (which then wasn't ending) and poor distracted day feeding and....I did the opposite and bought the baby whisperer book last weekend lol! I could have picked up moflees for free!

I do believe that what I did in recent weeks meant I had ended up stopping her from knowing how to self settle, only then able to feed to sleep then feeding so much at night her appetite was poor in the day. Then she was also hungry at times and tired and crabby. I started doing shush-pat 6 days ago, most determinedly and consistently, I have since improved the naps (had begun to be only 40 mins at the same time) have not fed her to sleep once. She has been self settling again. And twice she has feed at midnight and then gone through to 6 or 7 instead of being up at times hourly and expecting a boob. I don't think I have resolved all the issues, but I think it is some progress. Just another view...My SIL has a baby who at 14 months was waking up hourly for her to feed back to sleep and I was so concerned about this happening to me, I didn't want to wait and see if things improved on their own.

sedgiebaby · 11/02/2011 12:40

Just to add DD has also gone from 9th centile (down from 75th at birth) to positively fat in recent weeks so now no more feeding/weight concerns from my side either.

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