feeling really desparate - can anyone advise?

[narmada]

Hi,

Have posted on here so many times so apols if repeating myself but am feeling truly desparate this morning.

Ds is 16 weeks and we have a DD of 2.8. DS has reflux which is being treated with lansoprazole. Also suspected cow milk intolerance so now moving to neocate.

We cannot get him down until 11 pm on a good night (after hours of pacing, dummy, etc) and then he will usually wake at 4 or 5 for a feed after which another hour's settlng and he will then sleep for maybe another hour. Day naps - we really struggle to get more than 30 mintes out of him, and that is with a lot of encouragement.

My days are spent trying to get him to sleep. when he does, it's on me so i can't do anything (sling does not work) and then once my DD is in bed we have no evening at all.

Have tried him tummy sleeping - he hates it, likewise side sleeping.

I am going mad with frustration, sleep deprivation, and having practically no baby-free time even to do things like clothes washing, let alone anthing nice for me/ my partner (who is fab, absolutely does his share). It's been 4 months of this and I don't know how much more I can take. I already have PND which is being treated thankfully.

Does anyone have and words of wisdom to help us get through this patch?

Is that the same as omeprazole? I looked after twins with silent reflux and this was the medication they were on and one of them was moved to neocate aswell. They were also prescribed domperidone and infant gaviscon.

I presume you have raised the end of his bed.

I have heared that cranial osteopathy might be helpful or chinese massage.

Do you have any help? If you are in Dorset I would be happy to help. I start a maternity position at the end of March so have a bit of free time at the moment. (I wouldn't charge you)

Get in touch with homestart they may have a volunteer in your area.

Oh sailors that is so lovely of you - what a sweetie. We are in Surrey unfortunately. Yes tried raising end of bed - no joy!

I am lucky in that my mum comes down every other week and my DD is in nursery some days. I will try homestart though.

I just know what a nightmare it can be.

Definitely get in touch with Homestart. It may only be a couple of hours but anything is better than nothing. I have just started my homestart training so hopefully by the summer I will be helping someone too.

Could you afford a night nanny for one night?

worth trying the cranial osteopathy, may just help him settle.

Nightmare is about right. I feel like we're in a living one most of the time. I will try cranial osteopathy - keep saying I will but never get around to it.

its worth a try. Maybe post on your local site or netmums to see if anyone can recommend an osteopath that does cranial.

And don't forget about yourself!!!! Go for a massage or something when your mum or partner are around.

Thanks sailor's. I just want this nightmare to be over and for him to start sleeping :(

Reached an absolute low this morning when I realised DP and I have only had one evening of sitting/ being together e.g., watching TV, since DS was born.

Where abouts in Surrey Narmada? I can recommend cranial osteopath in Guildford... hang on in there, it will get better and you will sleep again! I know it's so depressing when you don't have any baby free time- I'm sure one day you will miss the times ds used to sleep on you!!

Hopefully things should start to improve soon! After about 4mths bedtimes start to become earlier and daytime naps start to consolidate.....

Is your lo overtired by bedtime? My DS is a catnapper too (15 weeks)- 30 mins max per nap. I have to make sure that 1.5 hours after each wake-up I try to get him off again - so he has 5 or so naps per day - the most important of which is the last one at 5/6pm (a dreadful time with other children about).

If we don't do this - it can take much longer to settle at bedtime and we get frequent wake-ups at night.

We are in Kingston, missredindie, so guildford is very doable. would welcome a recommendation.

jazzandj thanks for the positive vibes! he is overtired all the bloody time - he's like a one-man adrenaline factory. I do know what you mean about getting them down regularly but it is such a bloody perfotmance with him - dummy, pacing endlessly in dark room - my DD just won't stand for that 5 times a day, it's so hard. The teatime slot is a killer - i am either picking DD up from nursery or trying to cook tea while getting him down, nightmare.

Hi Narmada, hope you've had a better day today? The cranial osteo I used in Guildford is called Ann Cook, and her number is 01483 504508. She works from home and from a clinic on Castle Street in the town centre (think they have a web site).

I didn't find her the most friendly person (she was more interested in dd than small talk), but she did seem to sort out dd's inability to day time nap at 6 weeks old. A couple of different people recommended her to me, and one girl is using Ann for herself as well as for her ds's reflux.

Hope you have some luck with the sleep soon!!

missredindie many, many thanks, I shall look her up. DS's day sleep still crap but hoping for a miracle!