How do you get your baby to sleep and do any babies really, actually "self soothe"??

[Claz1001]

Hi, I have a 12 week old DS. The only way he will go off to sleep (unless in the car) is by being walked around in the Baby Bjorn. Once asleep I can sometimes transfer him to his cot although he usually wakes up soon after. I was wondering how other babies go to sleep and if anyone has any tips for getting my DS to soothe himself off to sleep? I keep hearing how a baby should be placed in his cot whilst drowsy but awake so he can learn to settle himself. Ha, no chance of that here!!

I used a variety of techniques... The 'bouncy chair' or the first-stage car-seat could be rocked with a foot... that worked. Car-seat propped in a supermarket trolley was a good one, I remember. His favourite was the pram... combination of fresh air and movement was a winner. I think if you get them used to falling asleep without too much intervention & in a variety of places, a nice quiet cot with a mobile to look at isn't a big stretch.

Not sure what the youngest is for self-soothing, though our DD really started to get the hang of it at about 4.5 months. We did PUPD and it was hard work... in some respects it would have been less stressful to wait til she was a bit older but her sleep was a nightmare from 12 weeks so we had to do something. At 12weeks could try gently decreasing the amount of rocking etc you need to do?

yes some of them do (none of mine did til past 1st birthday though)

Thanks for the tips, I will try everything! It's encouraging to know that some babies can settle themselves, maybe I just need to be a bit more patient. Fingers crossed!

One thing to always remember - even if you do nothing, they all learn eventually!

The self soothing started at about 4 months for us, when DS started sucking his hand before falling asleep. Before that he needed lots of help from us in the form of rocking, swaddling, or being taken out in the buggy.

When DS was newborn we did everything as various things worked at different times -rocking, shhhing, patting, cuddling, sling, car seat, buggy, co-sleeping etc etc. Luckily he has actually been able to self settle from very early on (5 or 6 weeks i think, but still has the occasional blip) and he's now begun self soothing by sucking his hand when he's tired (11 weeks).

DS (12 weeks) falls asleep in pram, car seat or sling when out and about during the day. At night he feeds to sleep. Feeding to sleep sometimes works in the day. He cannot self-settle (except very occasionally).

Putting them down awake but drowsy is mostly for older babies, I think. Doesn't work for DS, anyway.

My 16 week old DS2 has just started self-soothing. He used to feed to sleep or go off in the pram, but for the past few days has fussed and squirmed at the end of a feed...I put him in his cot with a dummy in, expecting him to start shouting, but he smiled at me and went to sleep!

He's done the same thing for 3 nights running now - he does need a dummy to start off with, but he never wakes up rooting for it. He only wakes once between 7pm and 7am now.

I really think it is down to the individual baby, to an extent; my DS1 NEVER self-soothed/fell asleep without a feed until approx 10 months old. So it's nothing I'm doing or not doing, it's just the way he is!

my ds ebf would only fall asleep at night when being fed. When little I could carefully transfer to bed at night but i realised i was starting a sleep routine that was going to be difficult to maintain.

At 5 months he would wake as soon as i moved and have to re feed until asleep and try again, often for over 2 hrs.

We tried controlled crying hellish for 4 nights but since then has always been a dream to put to sleep. Even when illness/teething meant he has been harder to settle he gets straight back into his routine by reapplying the controlled crying technique usually for just one night, once he is better of course.

it's not for everyone and the first night i cried more than he did but so worth it in the long run.

You might feel your ds is too young at the moment but it might be worth considering for the future. Other than that swaddling seemed the only thing that helped.

Best of luck

Thanks for all the responses and support. It's good to know there is hope for us yet!

DS1 found his fingers very early and that was how he soothed himself. DS2 was very ill and in PICU for a while so that threw any routine. He then became very reliant on his dummy, which was fine until he'd spit it out about 10 times a night. We ended up going cold turkey on the dummy and doing pat shush with him in the cot. He then found his fingers and will quite happily go down awake. Your DS is still very little, he'll find his way.

When DD was really little I used to say the same - no chance she'd go to sleep if I put her in her cot awake! Now at 8 months she drops off as soon as lights are turned off!

Can't remember when she started doing it (it was a gradual thing and it did involve a fair bit of crying to start with), but I'm sure your DC will get there too eventually! My only tip would be to have a set bedtime routine and stick with it religiously.

At 12 weeks I think we started using white noise..and rocking for endless hours. Was hard hard work. Also fed to sleep if that worked. WE stopped white noise at about six months when we did CC. Controversial I know but it works!!! NOw LO 11 months will happily sooth herself to sleep. Good luck..it DOES get easier :)

dd2 is 15 weeks and has just started to self soothe by sucking her fingers.

My DS wasn't able to get to sleep on his own until 11 months. Before that I tried everything in the quest to achieve self-soothing but have come to the conclusion that it was a pointless exercise as he just wasn't ready - if I have another one I won't bother and just feed/rock/cuddle to sleep as long as he/she will let me!

Like most things to do with babies. You can use all sorts of strategies, read lots of books, try lots of techniques - and it will eventually happen. Or you can do absolutely nothing at all, wait a while and it will eventually happen. At about the same time in both cases.

Result? A self soothing baby. But in the first case, you have spent ages worrying, reading, and stressing. In the second, you haven't.