Nightmares - Me

[Olessaty]

I've talked about this elsewhere. I am having a really strange sleeping experience that is happening pretty regularly and for an extended period.

When I go to bed, I've been having a sort of nightmare, but not at the usual point in my sleep cycle when I am dreaming, but right as I fall asleep. Checked the clock a few times after it's happened and it's usually no longer than twenty minutes after I last looked at the clock before I went to sleep.

I am jumping awake to loud noises, generally a man talking and sounding threatening, light patterns on the wall, often faces which shoot towards my eyes, my whole bed (my body?) shaking uncontrollably (like an earthquake) and an overall feeling of dread and impending doom. It's not the same sensation as "falling awake" where you have that jerk and wake up as if you've just fallen from a great height onto your bed. It's very much like being awake, but half asleep, unable to control your thinking and moving initially, but I have been perfectly able to shout at it to leave me (and my DC) alone.

It's happening repeatedly, and has, along with other stressors (mainly my DS needing an operation and then him and my DD getting ill) turned into an all night difficulty with relaxing to sleep at all. I am taking sleeping tablets which dull it and make it happen less often, it was the only option given how tired I was and how it was impacting on my mental health (I was getting between two and four hours sleep a night and I am a eight hours person).

I'm now at the point where I am starting to be afraid of the nightmare in waking, bumps around the house make me nervous, and I am getting paranoid about being on my own and scared of the dark (this is so embarrassing to admit to). The paranoia is also creeping over to other areas of my life. It's not good.

I have a doctors appointment on Thursday, I'm worried he's going to think I'm crackers again. I know this is all going to be blamed on stress, which is ironic because I've never been at a healthier place in my life when it comes to mental health, I'm doing more than just coping, I'm loving life and thriving. I do have a history of nightmares starting very young, but this is unlike them, I also have a generalised anxiety disorder (which is almost completely in hand right now) and have had clinical depression up until three years ago when I kicked it (for good!). Not sure if any of this is relevant.

Has anyone at all had a similar sleep experience?

Have you looked up hypnogogic/hypnopompic hallucinations and sleep paralysis? It might be spelled hypnagogia actually, I can never remember.

I've had similarish experiences every couple of years or so throughout most of life, sometimes in little clusters, but it has been happening so much over recent months. At least once a week, it's usually after I have slept, had a terrible nightmare that I just begin to feel relief at waking from only to realise I am either still dreaming or it is a sort of sleep paralysis thing. It's terrifying, I don't know what to do to stop it.

People have mentioned it sounds like sleep paralysis. I guess that could definitely fit the description, though I don't feel entirely paralysed as am able to turn my head about and shout and scream.

You are right about having it in clusters, I used to experience it before, but in a more euphoric way, the voice was kind and the lights were comforting and awe-inspiring, and I was waking up laughing. And they've been scary before too, but they've never been so persistant.

I don't think you have to have paralysis, I just get it for the added horribleness, and it can be nice instead of terrifying: hypnagogia

I get hypnopompic hallucinations too (on transition to wakefulness), maybe once a year - thank goodness as they are horrible! I think sleep paralysis too, as I always think I am awake and lying in bed but am unable to move. I see figures in the room, giant spiders creeping across the ceiling, that kind of thing. All very Japanese horror film! Feels like it goes on for hours too...

Was going to mention hypnagogic hallucinations as well. Scared the life out of me the first time i had them at 12), until i found out after that my mother and my eldest sister had also had them, looks like it's genetic.

Nothing to worry about. It is related to sleep paralysis and i learned i can stop it at the onset by trying to move /roll my head. Your body is likely paralysed but try moving your head/neck next time, it might wake u up enough to stop it.

Sounds like hypnagogia to me. I've had this before... it nearly drove me mental, but looking back, I think what really worried me then was the thought that I must be going nuts. It caused me insomnia and then a full blown panic attack. Turned out I had an anxiety disorder but thankfully, after therapy and citalopram, have been able to get my life back to normal again.

It still happens to me sometimes, the hypnagogia, but because I know now that its not a real sound I'm hearing (for me, it manifests as a sudden clap, bang or shout from out of the blue at the moment when I'm falling asleep), and I just let it pass and am able to fall back into sleep calmly. Once I'm asleep it never crops up.

Thank you so much for the information, I feel a bit saner already just knowing it's not just me.

Oh i was going to add, i wonder if it could be a result of medication you are taking /took for deoression or anxiety. In my adolescenc when i smoked hash i got it much more frequently and when i stopped they became very very rare, so i think it is related to serotonin levels and could be impacted by any medications influencing your serotonin levels (like the serotonin reuptake inhibitors they prescribe), just a. Thought.

I've not been on any medication like that for a good three and a half years, I stopped as soon as I found out I was pregnant and she's 2.8 years now. I'll ask the doctor though.

Don't have exactly this but got bad anxiety after DS was born which kept causing me to wake in the night and have a panic attack and then not get back to sleep. The insomnia then lead to fear of the dark and irrational fear of my flat and being alone in it - couldn't go in the bedroom without freaking out and felt i couldn't look after DS.

Citalopram has really helped me and fingers crossed it seem to have gone now, it took a while but my sleep slowly improved and is nearly back to normal. Got sleeping tablets too but hated taking then. Deffo speak to your doctor as sleep is so important, i took it for granted before x

Argh, though the doctor agreed that it sounds like sleep paralysis, he's prescribed me something I'm not really happy to take. He's given me temazepam, and as a lone parent with two young children, I am not sure it's a good idea to take them.