please can someone explain about no cry sleep solutions?

[shelley72]

hi all i do hope you can help us before we break through sheer exhaustion..

DD (8mo) has never been a fab sleeper but from 6mo she has been waking every couple of hours or so, meaning we get no longer than 2 hours sleep in a go. we are beyond shattered.

since 6mo we have been co sleeping as it seemed easier but i think we have made things worse. she feeds to sleep as she seems unable to settle herslef and DH cant settle her. if she falls asleep on me and i try and move her (to her bed for example) she is wide awake and crying. DH thinks we should leave her to it, but i just cant hear her cry (and she would prob wake her big brother too). he is now sleeping on sofa .

would a NCSS work for us do you think? are there really no tears? HV has suggested a sleep clinic that they run but i think it may involve crying.

i dont want to start a whole debate on which is the best way, we just need some help before we break. please...

tia

I have just tried a few methods to get my DD to sleep better as she was also waking up every few hours. I did CC but found that although it was working it was too difficult for us. Since then I have been putting her in her cot to settle and patting her to sleep. Also I stopped feeding her through the night and just patting her back to sleep. This has made things much better, she now sleeps 7.30 til 5, feeds and then back to sleep until 8.
It did involve some tears, but if I thought she was getting too upset I'd pick her up, feed her and try again.

The NCSS book is really all about routine, so if you already have a good routine, it may not be what you need. It starts by you keeping a sleep diary, and then the idea is to find the time that your baby wants to sleep at and working a bedtime routine to reach that point so baby is sleepy and knows from previous times that sleep follows a bath and a story (for example).

If you already do this, I don't think it would be much help. Then again, DD still sleeps when she wants to, so I'm not the best person to advise!

There is lots of really helpful advice in the NCSS book aside from stuff about routine - the author has lots of practical (but not necessarily instantly succesful) methods to improve day and night sleep, e.g., by teaching srlf-settling skills and breaking sucking-to-sleep dependence. Def recommend buying the book if you just can't face CIO or controlled crying.

Hi, my dd was feeding to sleep and waking every 1-2 hours, using ncss for over a month we have broken this and she can now go to sleep in her cot. Since she has learned to go to sleep in her cot she has slept through 11-6 three nights last week and in general has improved tremendously. I'd recommend getting the book and giving it a go, it takes time and patience but has worked for us. Good luck!!!

thank you all, sorry for only just coming back to this but have had a very tired and busy few days with DD. the book sounds as tho it may be a start, so have ordered it from the library - should be here soon. in the meantime we have had one night where she has gone into bed by herslf (for about an hour when she seems to jolt herself awake) and also 2 daytime naps (again only for an hour but its a start).

its just so hard isnt it, broken sleep. had to take DD to a hosp appt yesterday and the consultant told me that babies who dont like to sleep usually turn out to be very intelligent - i think he saw the bags under my eyes and was trying to make me feel better

I got some good ideas from NCSS - didn't follow-up it particularly but I thought some bits did help. It's also easy to read.

And yes, it's really hard. And I really feel for you having been in a similar position. Once my ds started to sleep better my life transformed, but I remember being convinced he was never going to sleep. Then I got pregnant again (not sure if the two are related!) and have my fingers crossed this one understands the concept of sleep a bit better...!

Mine were both like this at 8 mos and now at 3yr and 18mth are good sleepers (when they're not ill - the 18mo has been ill constantly for the last few months so am up all the time at the mo). I found that at 12mths when I stopped breastfeeding we had a gradual transition and they both began sleeping for longer periods and quite quickly to sleeping all night in their cots (before that had been co-sleeping). I did it gradually though, and didn't push them - found that was counterproductive when I tried. The recent night you had sounds like a start - mine began like that, accepting it for an hour or so, and it gradually increased - often seemed to get worse just before getting a lot better. Broken sleep is so hard, I feel for you. Am suffering myself too with DS2 constantly being ill. It's tough. With BF, I found the Pantley-Pull-Off (you'll see it in the book when you read it) worked really well for us as a way of ending the falling-to-sleep-while-feeding thing. Good luck!