Controlled crying and cry it out

[NoTeaForMe]

Hi,

Just a couple of questions, is 'cry it out' the same as 'controlled crying'! Do they really mean that you leave your baby to cry, properly cry not just grizzling?

Thanks

Proper crying usually means a baby is in some kind of distress and shouldn't be ignored. They need to be checked on. Grizzling and other crying-type noises are different... and this is what some of us feel we can safely ignore for a few minutes to give a baby time to settle back down of their own accord. Otherwise, you can find you're leaping to attention with every single sound and it becomes very wearing.

Thankyou, I personally can't understand leaving a baby to properly cry - like you say this must mean they need something or are upset by something. Have I mis-understood CC and CIO then?

controlled crying is where you go in at intervals to reassure your lo and then leave again. Cry it out is leaving them to cry until they give up. Neither are recommended before 6 months

I used to feel the same.

BUT, DS2 is nearly 11 months and still difficult to get to sleep, it's been a long road, but we're slowly getting there through a combination of phasing out night feeds, cuddling back to sleep, patting on back and finally controlled crying. I'll get flamed, but my DS2 when he's overtired, screams in a high pitched, glass shattering type of scream. I will leave him like that now, as I know he is overtired and just needs a dark room and quiet to get to sleep. I check he hasn't pooed, and until his sleep is more predictable, I always put him down after food. But he screams like a banshee.

No flaming here sheeplikessleep. :)

hi chil, hope your lo is sleeping a bit better?

sheeplikessleep - thank you, thank you, thank you.

I hate the 'idea' of letting baby scream to sleep but I also find there are times during the day when I absolutely know my baby is fed and clean and desperate for a sleep but she doesn't agree. At this point i sometimes find i just need to leave her to it.

Have never dared to voice this on mumsnet as feel nobody else here lets their baby cry for a moment - was beginning to think I was evil re-incarnate!

quitescared - i see where you are coming from! i used to feel so negatively about controlled crying, but then ds1 slept through the night early on and apart from daytime naps, his sleep was never an 'issue'.

after 10 months without a proper stretch of sleep and ds2 waking up 3 times a night (average), it got to the point where i was shouting at ds1 for very little reason, arguing with dh and waking every day just counting down the minutes until bedtime. it then becomes necessary to do something and we'd tried other no cry methods, with some success, but i knew that ds2 was getting frustrated that he didn't know how to sleep. to be honest, he cried more with dh sitting with him, than when we decided to 'go for it' and do controlled crying (where he actually cried for 10 minutes max).

it is such an emotive subject though.