2.10yo dropping nap. How to make him have quiet time?

[megonthemoon]

In the past 3 weeks, DS (2.10) has stopped napping at nursery and is now struggling to nap at home. I really want him to have an hour's rest time in his room - I have a 4mo DD who sleeps at lunchtime and I need an hour after lunch to tidy up and have a break myself before the afternoon kicks off again, because I'm someone who really needs quiet time myself! I don't want to spend an hour reading to him or him watching telly while I am around as I'd rather he has time away from me and also has the opportunity to nap if he needs it.

Problem is, he tends to run riot upstairs at the moment, so I can't just relax for that hour as I have to keep 'policing' him.

Any ideas for encouraging quiet time in his own room (he associates the bedroom with sleep so is a bit resistant to just relaxing in there I think)? Or any other ideas on how to manage this transition from napping to not while still giving me my mch-needed break?

Erm. I don't mean this to sound negative, or unhelpful, or to antagonise you in any way, especially as you sound as though you are very tired and in need of a break.

But -

You may just have to suck it up and not have any quiet time for a few months. Your DS is 2 years old; if he is able to have an hour's quiet time on his own in his room then, quite franly, he is VERY unusual!

My DS dropped his nap the moment he turned 2, and my DD dropped it at 23 months, so I have been through this and I do sympathise. But the harsh reality is that you are a mum, and you don't necessarily get your "much-needed break" until they are in bed at night. Or old enough to play on a Nintendo DS. Sorry

If anyone has a more positive answer, I'd love to see it as I might then consider having baby no. 3!!

My DS2 is nearly 3 and is at the same stage. He has a 'rest' by snuggling up on the sofa under his blanket and watching TV after lunch on the days he doesnt nap.
I think your DS would be better 'rested' by lying still on the sofa and watching TV for an hour than racing around causing mayhem in his room tbh.
You'll be able to get a lot more done around him watching TV than you will keeping an eye on him in his room (and making sure he doesnt wake the baby!) as well.

Yes I agree, watching telly is a much better (and more realistic) idea. I know you said you want him to have time away from you, but at 2 years old he doesn't NEED time away from you. You might need time away from him, but that's not the same thing!

If you are knackered and need a lie-down while the baby sleeps, could your DS snuggle on the sofa with you, or would he wriggle about and get fed up? Or is there a pre-school he could go to for one or two afternoon sessions a week? You could drop him off after lunch, while the baby sleeps in the car, then get home & transfer sleeping baby into cot while you tidy up / have a bit of a rest / prepare for the afternoon ahead ..

When your DS is 3, you will get the grant funding so you will get 15 hours of free pre-school each week during term-time. It kicks in at the start of the term after they turn 3. Not too much longer to wait ..

Have you tried stories or music on CD? DS always has his CD player on while he goes to sleep and on days he doesn't nap, he'll lie there for a while quietly listening. Not an hour though, more like half an hour before I get "mummy, I'm not feeling tired any more!"

When this stops working, I'll be resorting to a bit of TV time after lunch instead.

Ah I know it's wishful thinking that I get a break, and quite frankly I've been bloody lucky to have it this long and he does go to nursery so I do get some days where the baby sleeps and it is just me :) I just want it all how I want it not how he wants it :)

The reality is, I'm just somebody who has always needed my own space with no noise for a short while each day IYSWIM (I've always been very happy with my own company) so have always found the full-on, noisy nature of parenting particularly hard and really found the nap time very helpful for me mentally to recharge for the afternoon.

I think the reason I'd like him to be in his room if possible, is that I do think he still needs a short power nap, and he just won't do that if the tv is on and I'm around. I went up to bring him down after the supposed 'rest' today and found him passed out on the bed so I got today's break eventually!

I really like the idea of CDs actually - I think he may enjoy having something new to do, and he may like doing that while 'resting' on his bed.

There, I go, with my wishful thinking again...

Thank you for your suggestions though, and reminding me that I can't really expect him to comply with what I want - you're right, I need to drop my personal expectations and just focus on him having some quiet time for his own sake rather than mine :)

Driving back from school just now, I remembered that when I was desperate for peace and quiet (and I had pretty much exactly the same age gap between my 2 DCs as you do), and DS no longer napped at home, I used to go for a drive with both kids. The baby had her nap in the car, and DS would often nod off too. I would then pull over somewhere, leaving the engine running so as not to wake up DS, and listen to music or read a book for 20 minutes ..!

I know this isn't a non-parent's idea of "relaxing" but it can be a godsend if you just need some silence without someone badgering you for a bit! If your DS has only just dropped his nap, and you feel that he still needs one sometimes, the car can be a godsend

I am like you - I crave time on my own. It was hard for a while, but you get used to it, and it's worth it

A dvd and a snack.

I do the car thing suggested by MattsBatt with DD, 2.5. She's never been good at napping at home and I can usually time the need to go somewhere with her nap time (more or less).

It's amazing how restorative even just 30 minutes of reading a book in the car can be. I always keep a book in the car, just in case she nods off, and know pretty much all the free car parks in my area now!

I'm loving the car/reading idea! 30 mins of that will be far more restorative for me than 60 mins of lounging in a guilty manner because the kitchen is a tip! We live at the foot of the South Downs so I can just drive onto the top and look at the view and then when they wake, afternoon activity is sorted - walk on the hills :) No idea why I haven't thought of that before!