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Sleep

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Original poster

Please, please can someone help me formulate a plan before I start hallucinating with tiredness

11 replies

doricpatter · 30/01/2011 09:25

She's my second and I shouldn't be finding this so hard but I am and I'm so fuzzy I can't think straight :( I'd really appreciate it if anyone has a minute to make some suggestions.

Right, DD is 4 months old and EBF. She has coslept from the start. She's recently got into the habit of feeding all night and often wakes up rooting furiously if I try to slide her into the cot next to us. So I'm spending the entire night on my side, my back's killing me, and every time I get up to settle DS down it's waking her up again. She's not easy to settle at the best of times and her daytime naps are a load of hassle cos she only sleeps 40 minutes max and gets tired quickly after waking.

I know 4 months is a time of badness for sleep, but I'm at breaking point and I've decided something has to change. Today I'm going to set up a proper cot (it's currently a sidecar) and try and settle her upstairs in the evening, and hopefully get her to stay there. But I haven't a clue how to go about this really and I'm too tired to think.

OP posts:

Original poster

doricpatter · 30/01/2011 10:02

Hopeful bump

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Maelstrom · 30/01/2011 10:10

It is worth it to talk to your GP in case that she may be having problems with reflux, but if she is fine...

How about trying to get her interested in feeding often during the day so she doesn't have to wake up so often during the night.

Stop the co sleeping, it works for some people, but not for everyone. If co sleeping is making both of you more tired and miserable, it has to stop. Expect some loud protests over the first few days but they will stop, honest.

It is no wonder she is cranky during the day if she doesn't sleep well at night and is only managing short naps during the day. She is also tired. Once you both start getting more rest things would look brighter.

Ah... and one final thing, don't try to rock an over tired child to sleep, sometimes the extra stimulous of the rocking/carrying them around makes things a bit worse. Just put her in the cot or next to you, and stroke her back until she falls asleep.

Maelstrom · 30/01/2011 10:12

(yeah, the crying will continue while you are stroking her back, but it will last for less than rocking them while giving them a tour around the house, remeber, reduce the stimulus)

rubyslippers · 30/01/2011 10:13

I stopped cosleeping at this age because of the same issues

It was making DD more wakeful

I put her in her own cot and it was better - she slept for 3 hours or so at a time and that got better in time

Be prepared to stay with her for a few nights doing bum patting, head stroking etc

Original poster

doricpatter · 30/01/2011 10:22

Oh thank you thank you :)

I should have said - she is a bit refluxy (doctor doesn't believe me though ) and we're seeing the hospital feeding advisor and paediatric dietician this week about a possible dairy/soya intolerance due to green mucusy poos all the time and lots of gas. This disturbs her a bit but doesn't account for all the waking, I'm confident of that. I know about propping up the cot etc - she starts the night in a moses basket and sleeps up to 4 hours there (a month ago she could go up to 8).

She is a big fan of rocking but prefers her face being turned into you so she's away from stimulation. She will only be fed, rocked or pushed to sleep, she doesn't self-settle anymore, which is fine, but I think I might have to give her a shove in that direction. Would putting her down asleep each time slowly get her more accepting of being away from me or would it be best to just go all out and leave her in the cot to settle do you think? I'm not up for upset crying but whingeing is fine.

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Maelstrom · 30/01/2011 10:36

I think that the important thing is to decide what you want. If you want it to start setting on the cot you need to put her in the cot and not pick her up/rock her, only stroke her until she falls asleep.

If you put her in the cot and end up picking her up after a lot of crying, the only thing you would have achieved is for her to learn that if she cries hard enough she doesn't have to stay in the cot. So... my advice is not to start with this until you are sure you can carry it through.

Maelstrom · 30/01/2011 10:37

want her to start settling down in the cot.

Guess that, being sunday, my brain is still disconnected.

Original poster

doricpatter · 30/01/2011 11:06

Hmm. I'm probably too tired to face that just now (we're on day 19 of rapid return with DS and he's still waking a few times most nights!). I think I'll start with putting her down asleep in the cot but settling her in the bedroom so she gets more used to it - how does that sound?

I'm sorry, I can't think straight just now :(

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Maelstrom · 30/01/2011 11:22

HOw would you feel if you had go to sleep in your bedroom and woke up on the garden?

Original poster

doricpatter · 30/01/2011 12:50

I know ... but DS learned to self settle by himself without tears, it just took til he was around 1 yrs

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Original poster

doricpatter · 30/01/2011 19:00

I couldn't get her down awake, she goes direct to shrieking and works herself to a frenzy. DS was the same, he'd cry til he was sweating and sick if you tried to get him to self-settle. Anyway, she's down and asleep but rocked just to light sleep instead of fed to sleep. She'll probably wake in 40mins but if I zoom back she might go back down and stay down for longer. I'm in for a shitty night, aren't I?

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