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Sleep

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Original poster

Ok so now DS can climb out of a cot - what next?

18 replies

HalleLouja · 30/01/2011 08:19

DS is 2.10 and its taken him a while to figure he can climb out of his cot. I was never in a rush to put him in a bed (although we have had one for a while) but now we have no choice but to move him.

So last night was his first night in a bed and it didn't go too well. We did manage to get him to sleep at 9.30pm but he was awake too early (for him and us) this morning. Also to get him to sleep it required all of us in his bedroom with DH cuddling him. Not really ideal.

To be fair he sometimes does have problems settling at night if he has a nap (not always though) and is much easier if he does not nap. So 9.30 is not that abnormal for him.

We currently have a stair gate at the top of the stairs we are thinking of moving to the door of his room - its a bit of a safety hazard now anyway. Last night he stood at the top of the stairs singing until we went to lie with him.

I am pregnant so am finding things harder than normal to deal with so be gentle with me. I just don't want to start badly and for things to get worse.

Sorry for long post. BTW my DM looked after him yesterday and said he didn't have a long nap whatever that means....

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weefriend · 30/01/2011 08:22

It's a big change. More so for some children than others. It can take time to settle into. With my dd it took about a week, with Ds it was only a couple of nights. Don't give up.

Original poster

HalleLouja · 30/01/2011 08:29

We can't give up as he climbs out the cot as DH tried that this morning....

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Shamechanger · 30/01/2011 08:37

Right don't think about whether or not he's gone to sleep - think about making him stay in his room whether asleep or not. One of you deals with the situation at a time. When he comes out of his room, say night night or back to sleep or whatever and put him back in the bed. No kisses, chats, hugs - just carry him back in.

If When he comes out again you say the same boring thing again (some people stay completely silent but that would upset my kids). Be as boring as poss. You could do it 20 times the first night - the next night it will be less and by the end of the week ime he won't bother coming out (til he's about 5 anyway

Original poster

HalleLouja · 30/01/2011 08:43

So maybe its worth getting rid of the stair gate totally or have one of us upstairs (in our room resting) and putting him back to bed each time. Sounds like supernanny and the idea I had to begin with. Might give it a go tonight. As you say as long as they are in bed eventually they might drop off if the wind is in the right direction....

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rhinobaby · 30/01/2011 10:21

I sit on the stairs with a book, returning ds2 to bed when he comes to his door for 'I need a wee/ my duvets fallen off/ my nose needs wiping/ etc etc. Have found it is a quicker road to sleep than going down stairs and him wandering down. As previous poster says, if it's boring they rapidly get the message that you mean it when you say it's bedtime. If you start being in his room with him he will expect you there every night.

Original poster

HalleLouja · 30/01/2011 10:31

We are going to camp out in our bedroom with one of us putting him to bed in a quick manner. Fingers crossed for tonight.

It probably didn't help that he had filled his nappy last night. We did try to ignore it last night but he just stood by the stair gate singing. But as I said he did have a dirty nappy so it might work if we put him to bed without fuss.

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Shamechanger · 30/01/2011 15:08

Do you have a TV / books / music in your room? I find it helps if the main focus is not the child or whether or not it sleeps, but that putting the child back to bed is something I have to do quickly to get on with what i really want to do.

Tell him that when he wakes in the morning he must wait in the room until Mummy / Daddy comes to get him. If he comes out early, do the same thing you did in the night time (and don't let him get out until you go in (even if you go in a bit earlier than usual).

Good luck! Remember the more times he tries to come out the further he'll go in life - there's nothing wrong with an ambitious child

Original poster

HalleLouja · 30/01/2011 19:59

Right he is in his room - it took about 200 10 attempts to get in there but he is in his room now. He is sat on the floor sucking his fingers.

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Original poster

HalleLouja · 30/01/2011 20:01

PMSL at ambitious child!

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Original poster

HalleLouja · 31/01/2011 09:00

For anyone still interested DS went to sleep last night on the floor on a bed he had made himself out a duvet and pillow. This was soon after I posted. He realised every time he left his room he got put back in bed. DH did read him a story when he got hysterical but it seemed to work. We did put him back into bed.

This morning at about 5.40 he woke up and we brought him into our room and fed him a snack. We then put him back into his room where to be fair he stayed. Banging on the stair gate. But he was in his room so that has got to be a start. He usually sleeps til about 7.30 so he will be shattered this morning.

When it comes to his nap today I am going to take him for a drive so he has a rest. Not sure I am ready to face this with naps as well.

Please someone tell me this will get better and I just need to persevere.

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Shamechanger · 31/01/2011 12:49

Okay I honestly think you're giving him mixed messages by reading stories and letting him into your room at 5.40 and feeding him. You have to be consistent on this even if he is really upset. Otherwise he will continue to do it and continue to not get enough sleep.

If he was capable of sleeping in his cot for 10-12 hours then he will be capable of sleeping in his bed. And put him in his bed for naps, it's worth the short term pain. You don't want to be driving around to make a nearly 3 y o go to sleep.

Original poster

HalleLouja · 31/01/2011 13:07

We always would let him come into our room if he wakes in the night.

It was DH that read the story not me. I was telling him not to at the time as I said it was a bad idea and we needed to stick to our guns. Am supposed to be going out tonight but don't trust DH to be tough enough.

I have put him down for a nap so hopefully he will sleep otherwise he will be horrid this afternoon and the state I am in I might just cry.

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falsemessageoflethargy · 31/01/2011 13:11

Halle - I would do rapid return during the night and gradual withdrawal on settling - it worked for us with dd.

So you start by cuddling them in bed and then sit next to the bed holding hands and stroking then move to across the room then by the door, outside the door etc - all the time repeating a mantra if needed.

For the middle of the night its rapid return with no talking about the first time.

threefeethighandrising · 31/01/2011 13:40

"Remember the more times he tries to come out the further he'll go in life - there's nothing wrong with an ambitious child"

Original poster

HalleLouja · 31/01/2011 13:49

He is happy playing in his room now. Not trying to escape. Oh well not much I can do about it. He is not ambitious just stubborn. We are quite lucky that he does usually like sleeping so hopefully its just a phase and I need to be tough and ensure he stays in his room even if he refuses to sleep.

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Original poster

HalleLouja · 31/01/2011 14:34

He is sleeping on his bed as cute as can be after being bored playing. I suppose I should be happy that he stayed in his room and eventually fell asleep in his bed without me having to put him in his bed 100's of times. He has wrecked his room though

He also filled his nappy again so that might have explained why it took him a while to sleep.

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Shamechanger · 31/01/2011 15:22

Oh poor you it is definitely enough to make you cry. I never did CC or anything like that but I just about managed to do rapid return as long as I had ipod in and books / choc in the other room.

They do eventually get bored of wrecking their room by the way - DS1 used to spend an hour crashing around before he dropped off and now he doesn't even touch the toys in his room. Occasionally rearranges his clothes in the morning though..

DHs often look for the easy / quick way to make children be quiet and leave them alone ime. Annoying isn't it At least you can both share the pain tonight, you may find he gives in more easily.

Original poster

HalleLouja · 01/02/2011 09:03

Last night was better. I was out but he played for 45 mins in his room. DH went up (I was out) and told him he needed to go to sleep. He didn't want to sleep in bed but made a nest on the floor and slept there. We didn't see him out of his room until 7.15 this morning where he was back on the floor (despite being put to bed).

Thanks for your help and making sure I carried through with it. I might be back though

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