Nearly six months and wakes every 90 minutes at night

[Strega76]

My wee one has been waking up every 90 minutes or so through the night for almost 7 weeks now and I feel as though I'm on the edge. He slept well to start with but hit the 4 month regression at about 17 weeks and now at nearly 25 weeks is no better.

He is breastfed, has just started on some veggie solids, naps twice during the day (either in buggy or lying down with me). He wont stay in his cot for more than 10 minutes at bedtime so for weeks Ive been going to bed with him in the evening at about 8pm to get him to sleep but also to try and catch up on my sleep. (co-sleeping not through choice) I feed (nurse) him back to sleep eac time he wakes because otherwise he'll work himself into a frenzy.

i have absolutely no life and feel increasingly hopeless.

On a good night i get about 3-4 hours sleep.

I just wanted to ask those of you who have had babies who woke so frequently at night, whether you waited until they grew out of it (when?) or did you try to teach them to settle themselves by sleep training? (not CIO - i couldnt do this).

Any thoughts?

Well my DS was similar. Bedtimes got easier when we put him to bed earlier. Too late and he'd never settle. We had him feeding by half 6 and in cot by 7. We tried to teach him to self settle by putting down drowsy, patting to sleep on his front from around 6 months. It was hit and miss but he did get there.

I also realised that he woke at night with wind - so be careful what veg you're giving. Anything green like peas or broccoli gave DS terrible wind at night and he'd be waking all the time.

There are also developmental leaps to contend with which make it hard for them to sleep.

Also my DS needed 3-4 naps at that age. Not enough naps would mean he'd get terribly overtired and sleep worse not better.

Thanks Iggly. I have noticed he's a bit windy at the moment so probable the veg as you said.

I think we just need to persevere with the self settling, i just get so uptight when he's upset or cries, especially when I'm so tired in the evenings. I find it very hard to relax just now.

My husband has taken a couple of days off work to see if we can tackle the long night shifts together so we'll give it a go. Good thinking about the earlier bedtime, he is particularly grizzly in the evenings.

I feel your pain. DS is 6m and wakes every 2 hours and has done from about 3 months. I average 4-5 hours unbroken sleep a night and have not had a proper night's sleep since he was born.

I now know what the phrase 'bone tired' means - I literally ache from head to toe and my poor haggard face has huge hollow dark sockets where my eyes once were. I snap at DH, my other child and have shouted at DS too when I have been desperate in the early hours.

I am trying to cut down on night feeds by focusing on feeding at 10pm and then 3pm. Anything else DH tries to settle with shushing and patting. I can't say it's making alot of progress. Tried CC and he screamed for 2 hours til I gave in.

I am sorry I don't have any answers just empathy.

I meant broken sleep! God - wish I did get 4 hours unbroken sleep - I would be soooooo happy!

Fifitot - I thought that sounded good :)

I can't remember the last time i had more than 3 hours in one go. I reckon people think Im exaggerating when i tell them. I too have the hollow eyes and have to pull my hat down as far as possible when out and about so as not to scare passing children :)

Hate to say this and please don't everyone shout at me, but my ds was like this and has settled sooooo much better since self weaning himself from breast to bottle at 7 months. He stopped breast feeding through his own choice and I was upset at first but my god it has made a difference to his sleep patterns. Last night I had a five hour stint of solid sleep from him, which was unheard of a month ago.

Am not going to chance it again tonight though so going up to bed now incase I am back to waking every hour!

I went to a cranial Osteopath with my DS and he was sorted after two visits (he was 28 weeks old). It cost £75 in total and was well worth it although I understand it doesn't work for everyone

gem - how did he wean to a bottle then? Were you mixed feeding anyway? My DS is a bone fide bottle refuser unfortunately!

Mine will take a bottle but I really want to keep breastfeeding him for a while longer as I had such trouble to start with and don't want to mess about with my supply. 5 hours sounds like a dream though!

Strega - I can sense how bad things must be for you but what do you mean by CIO?

There's a massive difference between leaving a baby to cry and leaving the room to party and allowing a baby to fall asleep on their own without the use of a crutch.

Your baby has developed sleep associations of lying with you and breast feeding to sleep and is unable to fall back to sleep alone after each sleep cycle.

The key is to teach them to sleep alone and remove the crutches. That means lying in a cot without the aid of a feed. This will almost certainly involve a certain amount of crying but you are not leaving htem. You can stay with them and shush and pat them etc - whatever works for you.

Personally, I had 2 kids that woke this much at 6 mths+ and had to do controlled crying for quick results. I did not have to for my third as she was already used to falling alseep herself as I was aware of the issues 3rd time round.

If you cut out the windy veg and only give plain food for tea you might find things improve. I'd give your DS an extra pm nap - around 4ish to see him through to bedtime. Also can he roll? DS did better at night once he slept on his front which happened once he started rolling over. I didn't bother turning him back as he has no stuffed animals or cot bumpers or pillow. Plus he's in a sleepbag and was very strong from a young age. He started sleeping on his front at around 6 months. First night he did, he slept until 3am before wanting a feed!

I second germum and feel your pain strega!... our DD started waking every 45mins or 90mins (on a good night!) at 3 months old as she was used to feeding to sleep. We did the baby whisperer PUPD (she didn't like shush pat) which did involve crying but I was there with her and though it took a while for her to learn to self-settle at the beginning of the night, within one or two nights she'd worked out how to send herself back to sleep during the night. While hard work, I kept reminding myself what we'd be going back to if I didn't persevere.

Sorry to hijack but Mewkins, could I ask how old your DD was when you did PUPD? Did you do it at 3 months? I ask because my DS is like this (11 weeks).

I don't have experience but I have read about parents trying to anticipate when babe will wake if he/she is waking very frequently & quite regularly, & then trying to soothe before babe is fully awake, ie before he/she has become fully roused from sleep, by singing, humming, patting, etc This theoretically can work when the babe is coming to between sleep cycles rather than being able to carry on smoothly to the next one. I guess the theory is eventually they will be able to do it themselves if given a helping hand at first. Just thought I'd throw it in there if you are desperate. Hope you get some relief soon.

Thanks for all advice. Last night was the worst yet, its 6.30am and I'm still waiting to get some sleep. :( He hasn't settled at all during th3 night. I'm wondering if its developmental stuff going on in his head on top of everything else. Anyway, tonight we're going to start something like PUPD. I fear it'll be another long night but at least my husband can start to help out more if I'm not feeding the whole time. The worst part is, my DS is so completely adorable but I can't give him my best during the day as I'm grumpy and exhausted.

We'll see how tonight goes....

Poor you. I'd make sure its not wind or something bothering him because PUPD won't work otherwise (we tried and failed because of similar problems).

Give him a teaspoon of peppermint/fennel tea while he's having his bath and some calpol in case it's teeth (6months is the average for first teeth to appear). Go for an early bedtime too. Then you've done as much as you can to get him asleep. Also spend a bit of time winding him after his bedtime feed - about 15/20 mins just in case. I'd do all that before doing PUPD (which involved a lot of crying when we tried).

Good luck!

Oh poor you. I would try if you can to break the feed to sleep association. I have been working on this with some sucess.

DS has 3 naps and is put in his cot, sometimes after a feed, but awake. He cried for a while at first but I stuck his mobile on and he dropped off eventually. I do this for the last feed of the night and put him down at around 7pm.

I am working on him dropping night feeds now as I said above. I think he's finally got the message that there is no feed when he wakes at 12. He still wakes but we pat him and put his mobile on. Still cries but not for ages and then goes off.

Some people say to work on naps first and tbh it worked for me to some extent. The crying isn't so bad to bear during daylight hours!

Hi Pidgin, I think it must've been at about 13 or 14 weeks as it seemed to get worse just when we returned from a summer holiday when she was 12 weeks old. Although I think you can do shush pat at this age my DD found it quite distracting so I plumped for PUPD. Good luck, I reckon the trick is perseverence and keeping things in perspective. This is really useful www.babywhispererforums.com/index.php?board=89.0

Strega, I was in the same position re. breastfeeding, I had awful trouble with it in the early days. But out of desperation I ended up giving my son a bottle of hungry baby milk before bed and it really helped to make him sleep better. It didn't affect our breastfeeding at all, apart from him waking less in the night. I know its not the done thing to encourage someone to formula feed but just don't feel bad about trying something like that, you are doing you baby good by looking after yourself.

mama2alex- thanks for this. My problem seems to be more that I doubt he'd go to sleep with a bottle as he seems so dependent on me to go to sleep. Last night my husband fed him a bottle of ebm and tried to get him off to sleep in the cot. It was a nightmare. He spent an hour crying (being picked up and put down), then I had a shot for another hour, wouldn't settle. Then my husband finally got him to sleep as he was exhausted only for him to wake up 5 minutes later and scream hysterically until I gave in and fed him. He had a huge feed and then I thought I shouldn't give up so tried to settle him back in the cot, he took about 10 minutes to whimper to sleep with me saying 'sleepy stars up in the sky' a thousand times, only to wake up 10 mins later and start all over again. BY that point I'd been awake for almost 24 hours, so I shouted at my poor husband, lay down in bed, fed my son and he passed out in about 0.2 seconds.

Goodness knows what tonight will bring. Such fun this mothering business is......

He might have had wind hence waking after ten minutes - classic thing my DS did.

Does he roll both ways? Consider putting him on his front or left hand side as MUCH easier to settle when drowsy (easier to do than trying from awake).

Iggy - quite possibly re the wind. Ive cut out the veggies at dinner but i think because he's just started solids, his insides are doing all sorts of things. Im also reluctant to wind him as it wakes him right up, but then i suppose he'll wake anyway.

He can roll, but just. I tried turning on his side as thats how he lies when hes feeding, it seemed to help a little as he was more comfortable but i think it'll be a couple more weeks until he's got the hang of it properly.

Im just going to try and put him down now so fingers crossed. Oh, its not usually this late but he's had a looooong feed.

I still have to wind DS at 16 months after his bedtime feed I do it by feeding with lights off, pick him up and gently sway with him tilted to his left/my right a bit. Then I gently jig him and rub his back at the same time. That way he'll burp but stay drowsy or asleep then can pop in his cot on his front and stroke his back.

Hope you don't mind me hijacking this but just wanted to ask advice on a similar situation: my nearly 7mth old DD does sleep when she finally goes to sleep but this might not be until 1am every night. She will then sleep till 9/10am - I know some of you ladies would dream about this if only you were getting some sleep - which I could live with if I didn't have a 3yr DS who loves to get up anywhere between 5 and 6.30am. This has been going on for about 7 weeks; she was earlier going down before.
I've tried a few things, including being in the room but leaving her to cry in the cot (she could see me) but she vomited and this happened the last time I tried it (being at the end of my tether!). I only left her for maybe 5/10 mins.
Any suggestions would be gratefully appreciated. She is not fed to sleep, has 3 meals a day, has last bottle about 8pm.
Thanks.