Am I the only one with an 11mth old who won't sleep?

[catwhiskers10]

I'm quickly reaching the end of my tether with DD who is 11 months and waking constantly through the night. It's so often now that I lose count of how many times she is up.
She's never been a great sleeper and used to be up 2-3 times in 12 hours which I didn't mind as she was quickly settled either by feeding (she is BF) or coming into our bed.
The past 6 weeks she has been getting up more and more and will only sleep being rocked in my arms and as soon as she is put down she sits up again and starts crying until I lift her.
I'm not keen to leave her to cry as she quickly becomes hysterical, goes purple and sweats and takes ages to calm down again.
I just really wanted to know if there are others with babies of this age in the same boat? How do you cope? It seems everyone has a baby that sleeps except me!

Oh no definitely not, there;s plenty on mumsnet who've struggled with babies sleeping badly

Does she sleep in her own room or is she in with you? Did she used to co-sleep and has been moved to a cot? Does she have a nightlight and a dark room? How many naps does she take in the day and what time does she go to bed? Is she a good eater? Is she teething?

Sorry twenty questions here I just have some ideas but I maybe barking up the wrong tree, so I wanted to have a bit more of an idea about her.

I did love this book and still refer to it a lot. But I generally used PUPD or shush/pat from this book not crying it out. But Marc Weissbluth's advice is spot on on sleep. It's a big book very comprehensive and not easy to read in places but incredibly helpful as well. IYSWIM?

Thanks "teaandcakeplease"
Yes, she sleeps in her own room the past 3 months and initially started sleeping better, then it has slowly gone downhill again. have tried no light and a nightlight but it doesn't seem to make any difference.
She will go down in her cot about 7.30 and usually sleeps OK for the first couple of hours and we used to co-sleep from about 3am onwards but now she just wriggles and cries in the bed with us aswell.
She usually just takes one nap in the day, anything from 1-2 hours ( I don't let her go longer than 2 hours usually or she won't go to bed at night). Have tried cutting the nap down but this seems to make her sleep worse at night! Have also tried keeping her up later but again, this makes no difference.
She is a great eater and I did put her night-time behaviour down to teething at first but I'm not so sure now as she isn't showing any other symptoms (she's got 8 teeth so we sort of know her teething signs now)
She's a great baby during the day and very energetic so I'm surprised she doesn't tire herself out more.

Personally with mine by 11 months unless they were poorly, they didn't have a feed in the night at all from about now. I'd go in and slather bonjela on their gums and shush/ pat them for a moment and leave again and they'd shout briefly but go back to sleep until the bonjela wore off 3 hrs later and then I'd repeat the cycle. I tried not to talk to them or turn any lights on. Over time they waked less. My DD often woke when she lost her dummy so as I went to bed, I would place several more dummies around her head and that seemed to help her wake less. I would never take them into my bed ever, as I wanted consistency by this stage. But plenty of mumsnetters do and do not mind, so I maybe in the miniority there. Some babies aren't good at self settling when they come into a lighter part of their sleep and will wake, so some form of gentle sleep training to break that cycle is necessary

I need to go and check my little ones next door are behaving. You'll probably have some more responses today that may help you. It must be hard and feel never ending.

Thanks for your reply (and the coffee :) )

Can't help catswhiskers only to emphathise - it' a bloody nightmare, isn't it?

My youngest was 12 months the day after boxing day and is better now but it's very hit and miss. Eg, she'll sleep through maybe one night out of 5, and the other times she might wake up once/twice each night. She's never got to the screaming and sitting up stage though. I think if she's doing this you have to take the bull by the horns, or it will go on and on IMO.

My DD4 goes straight back to sleep after a little feed and cuddle, but with my DD1 I was full of hope that she would just grow out of it and that it was just a phase. It was a phase but it took about 4 years for her to grow out of! And even then it was only because I confronted her sleeping head on. Believe me, the older they get the harder it is to break - don't leave it till she can climb out of the cot, or is in a bed! (Hope I'm not scaremongering, I just don't want it to get as bad for you as did for me!)

Knowing how dreadfully tired you are feeling and the very real possibility that this cycle will only be broken if you actively break it, I'd buy the book recommended above.

It sounds like there are a couple of options in there that you could choose from so I'd advise you to pick one that you can stick to and cope with. My life would have been so much better if I'd done this with DD1 all those years ago.

Just think - after a bit of heartache and perseverance you could have your DD sleeping through the night in a few weeks.

I keep meaning to do it with my DD4 but because she is sharing a room with 2 siblings and DS is at school so needs his sleep (he's 5 years), I've used this as an excuse. But TBH, I'm coping 'cause she does settle well so I'm not that desperate enough to do it just yet...
With DC2 and DC3 I was very strict and determined that my experiences with DD1 would not be repeated (I would literally have cracked up if I had allowed this to happen again). Because of this they were and still are brilliant sleepers, but they wouldn't have been unless I'd made them!
Good luck

I think at the moment she's probably working on the 46 week developmental spurt - there was a previous one around 37 weeks, which causes the 8/9 month sleep regression (which often continues through till 11 months).

When babies are working on a developmental spurt is the worst time to try sleep training of any sort - their minds are buzzing so much they simply can't stay asleep.

There's more info here, here and here.

11 months is relatively young to be on only one nap, and 1 hour sounds very short to me - she could be suffering from lack of daytime sleep. (Night sleep being worse if you reduce her nap suggests she could be on the edge of overtiredness normally.) How long has she been having just the one nap?

Could you try to get her to nap a bit earlier and let her sleep at least 2 hours, more if she wants to?

Alternatively, you could try for two shorter naps - if she wakes around 7ish, 9am and 1pm are good times to try.

I'd also recommend teaandcakes' suggestion of the Marc Weissbluth book, although IMO it's poorly written, badly organised and I think his 'cry it out' regime is cruel. But all the stuff on nap schedules is the most useful I've come across.

What time does she normally get up / nap? Does she ever drop off in the pram / car in the mornings?

It sounds like she increases tension by crying so if you do want to do some sort of 'sleep encouragement' (I hate the word 'training'), I'd wait till she's past 46 weeks past her due date, and then try some of the Baby Whisperer methods, or ideas from the No-Cry Sleep Solution. Controlled crying etc usually is pretty awful for a baby who increases tension by crying.

my 10 month old isn't sleeping well at all! you are not alone. In fact her sleep has been pretty much crap since the 6 month mark.

I have managed to night wean. But she still wakes up 3-5 times a night and needs me to settle her.

She was in our room, but not bed, until about 9 months. Moved her into her own room but it doesnt seem to make much difference. She now comes into our bed some mornings at 4.30/5.30 when she just wants to wake up. In my bed from 5am seems to get her to sleep until 7am.

I have tried giving her a security blanket. A really soft plush blanket that I slept with and carried around so it smells like me... this seems to go over well as now she wants it when its bed time and in the middle of the night when she wakes I put the blankie closer and give her the dummy and touch her head and that is all I have to do to settle her. May be worth a try?

I also think you should let her sleep as long as she wants during the day. I have never woken her up from a nap and when she sleeps the longest it has never affected her nighttime. Never. Mine naps about 45min to and hour 2x a day. Although sometimes it is a 30 min nap and then a 2 hour nap...either way get the most sleep out of the day no matter what, I think this helps.

sympathy and good luck. I need it too, am really sick of interrupted sleep....

Thanks everyone for your replies and empathy/sympathy! :)
"AngelDog" I had wondered if it was a developmental thing as she has been worse since learning to stand up and move around and she's also starting to talk.
I have kept saying "she will grow out of it" but don't fancy waiting 4 years "Misfitless" !
Will try increasing the daytime naps and last night I did pick up/put down which eventually worked after an hour so will persevere with that for a while and see how we go.
Just good to know I'm not alone (well, sleepless DC not good for any of us but YKWIM)

catswhiskers - watching your thread, hope when you read this tomorrow you've had a good night!

Could it also be something to do with nighttime separation anxiety? It's not unusual for separation anxiety to start around this age. Maybe in previous months she could wake few times during the night and get herself back to sleep on her own (in addition to the two or three times that she'd need your help), but now every time she wakes, she looks for you, realizes that you're not there, and it upsets her until you're holding her?

Just a thought.

No you are not alone and it is shit

Sorry no useful advice to add - DS is also11 months and wakes up several times a night. I want to do something about it but he is constantly ill.

Hi catswhiskers10. No advice really but just wanted to say that i sympathise. DS is 2.2 now but at 11mo he was the only one I knew not sleeping through and still waking 4 or 5 times a night. I got so sick of everyone's 'advice' that I pretty much shut up about it, even though I was dog tired. But, by 18mo, DSs teeth had all come through (6 came through pretty much at once somewhere after 1 year - shows how much I remember!) and he suddenly started sleeping right the way through.

It does happen, honest.

I hope last night was a little better. Eek! at the hour of PUPD.

Just a quick update. Last night was much better! DD slept 6 hours straight then up 3 times in the following 6 hours!
Maybe this dreadful period is coming to an end at last ...
More likely she was knackered from weeks of not sleeping and we will be back to square one tonight!!

Hey, that's good news catwhiskers! The first six hours anyway.

Fingers crossed you'll have a good night tonight.

DS isn't eating much again and I think that's most of the trouble here.

nope, mine didnt at 11 months. He slept well from 7 weeks to 8 months, stopped sleeping, and started sleeping well again now at 20 months. I never 'trained' him, did not feel it was right in my heart, and I think it had a lot to do with teething. Good luck, it will pass!!

Agree, mdavza - think it's teething for my DS, as well as constant colds, chest infections etc.

It's just so hard to keep hearing from others all the time 'he's nearly one, he should be sleeping through the night'. Even DH spouts this - and says we should think about stopping breastfeeding him.

Anyway, it will all be ok soon and will indeed pass.

My DD is 11 months and definitely NOT sleepoing through. I also get the comments from others which drive me MAD! someone said to me yesterday 'she's nearly 1 now, she muct be sleeping through the night isn't she'. My heart sinks... I should just say yes she is and end the conversation there!

My DD still has a bottle, usually around 3am. A good night is only one wake at this time for the bottle, but much more usual for 3 or 4 wakes... sigh.

I have just changed from using a sleeping bag to a duvet and pillow (she is one next week) and this seems to have lead to SOME improvement - as she seems much more able to wiggle in to a comfy position and if she sits up in her sleep (which she seems to do a lot) then she seems able to get herself back down again without me having to help her.

Watching this thread for any advice people have and so nice to know I am not the only one with an 11 month old still being a monkey at night time. Nearly a whole year of broken nights is hard!

I have no advice, Murl, only sympathy.

DS only woke up last night at 10pm, 1am and 5am - then was up for the day. So not too bad; much better than it has been.

Here's to a good night for everyone.

Well, the last 2 nights have been better! DD has slept 6 hours straight then up 3 times after that both nights but settled fairly easily. However... Last 2 days she didn't nap for more than 20 mins during the day, today she had a 2 hour nap so we will see how tonight goes!
Muri I have wondered if a pillow would help my DD did you just use an ordinary pillow or do you get special baby ones?

catwhiskers, used an ordinary one for about a week but then got a baby one. I think the baby ones are probably better as they are not so bulky. but having said that the ordinary one worked just as well as the baby one! did get a proper baby duvet though. let me know if it helps your little one at all.

Well, the worst seems to be over. DD sleeping from 7pm till 1am without waking up, she's still waking up a few times between 1am and 7am but is much more easily settled either by feeding or coming into our bed.
Gave her a pillow for the first time last night, didn't stop her waking up but she seemed a lot more comfortable with it so maybe in time she will sleep longer.
It's certainly a relief from last week when she was waking up almost every hour in the night! I can live with this. :)

Oh that's good, these are rather fabulous and much safer as they cannot get their head under the pillow and overheat etc: www.gro.co.uk/Grobag-Nursery-Stay-on-Bedding.html

I'm another who's struggling with a poor sleeper. I've had some success at night time with PUPD but he still wants 2 BF milk feeds in the night (from reading the above I should try to reduce this, but he settles so much easier after milk...)

Naps are another matter . I'm currently on a time-out from trying to get him off (tried for 45 mins while he crawled about, screamed, cried, stood up a million times, shouted, rubbed his eyes, and buried his face in the matress in dispair.) Off to try again in a mo - joy.

God this is hard...