What do you do when they keep standing up?

[ThePetiteMummy]

Dd is 10 months, and every night when I put her in the cot after a feed, she stands up straight away. I've been laying her back down every time & repeating 'bedtime' as I do so, but every time I do this, she's getting more & more agitated. Should I just persevere, or should I let her stand up for a bit if she wants to? I'm sure she's tired as she's getting all grumpy! (trying to get her to sleep now). Any advice appreciated!

It depends how stubborn they are but I found the quickest way to nip it in the bud was to persevere and just keep lying them down while saying 'night night' in a bored way. But DS is pretty laid back and gave in after about 4 goes.

Do you leave the room between each 'lay-down'?

No, am standing by the cot, prob not a good idea. She cries straight away if I leave the room. She's been doing this all week, but am getting stressed as I have to be up very early for work tomorrow. Yesterday after about an hour and a half of laying her back down, I had to take her out the cot to calm her down. She was still really worked up, so her bf her again and this sent her to sleep (I wouldn't normally do this, but was at the point of trying anything!).

It's such a personal choice, but I did find that leaving the room (so basically doing controlled crying) worked very quickly. But as I said, DS (now 15mo) is quite easy going.

I'd cuddle him for a minute or two and then pop him in the cot, lying down, and say goodnight, and then leave the room. He'd jump up immediately but I'd ignore it. I'd wait for 2 mins, listening to him rattling the bars and shouting/crying. Then I'd go in, gently lie him down (without cuddling) and say 'sleepy time', and leave. Then repeat, next time waiting 4min, then 8min etc. We never got past 16min. The only difference was that after the first time, I wouldn't even say anything, just lie him down and leave. It makes you feel like a total cow-bag but it did work. The key is leaving the room and not engaging with them - what they want is you!

I know lots of people disagree with this but I really can't see how a child can feel abandoned if you are going back in, just be consistent

Ok, I'm trying what you suggested, so far 40 mins in & she's still screaming her head off. Not sure how much longer I can do this for. I know I have to persevere, but it's so hard listening to them so upset. Thank you for your help anyway! I realise there is no miracle solution!

Oh dear , sorry it didn't work. What happened in the end?

I gave in and laid with her on my bed til she dropped off! She woke up again later though, we had about 2 hours sleep in the end. However turns out today that she's got a nasty cold and very off colour, so that explains last night. We'll try again when she's better! Thanks again, you responded so quickly to my post!

We had exactly the same problem a couple of weeks ago with DD, also 10m. Out of desperation we did the CC thing like mistressploppy suggested and it worked in the end - although it did take nearly 3 hours the first night (DD is stubborn!)

In the end I found the more I went in, the more worked up she was getting, so the second night I did bigger gaps in between going in and also didn't go in if she was just whinging, only if she was really crying/distressed. This worked much quicker (about 40 mins) and she just laid herself down in the end and slept about 6 or 7 hours solid! After about 5 nights this was down to 10 mins.

Now she barely makes a sound when we put her to bed, just a 'night night' and a kiss etc and we come out and close her door (we found closing the door tight was also the key as she can't see us pottering about through the gap) and she is usually asleep within a few mins, and generally with no or very little crying.

Perseverence and consistency are the keys to this as if you end up giving in, she'll know you always will eventually!
Hope you have better luck when she's better.

Fortunately haven't had this (yet!) with DT's (13 months), but we had it with DS. I just went in, lay him down, out, went in , lay him down, out. No talking nothing. I counted 97 times (!!!!!!!!!) on the first night, about 30-odd on the second, and then a couple, and then none... was insane!

Wow, thanks curlylj, that sounds amazing! We will def try that when she's better. I must say we haven't had it too bad as once she is asleep, she sleeps til about 8am! I just hate it when we're having people over for the evening & I end up spending most of it upstairs, it's so embarrassing, not to mention the stress of it every night for us. It's prob my fault as I've always fed to sleep, but it always worked so well that we never changed anything. Leading up to Christmas I was getting stressed, as we had both our parents coming to stay, & I was worried we'd look like bad parents! But somehow, as if by magic, she went to sleep with no fuss on Christmas eve, for the first time in weeks! Must've been for Father Christmas! . Didn't last tho!

Poor little thing is really poorly tonight, just got in from work & she's all hot and agitated. Poor dh has had quite a day of it.

Wow weegle, x post, that's brilliant! Sounds like the way to go. I guess the novelty of standing up wears off after a while?!