nearly 16 month old refusing to sleep - we're at our wits end!

[crapbarry]

DS is nearly 16 months old, and has never been what you'd call an easy baby - I've posted on here many times (under different names) about him.

We'd got him sleeping a bit better (going to sleep after his feed, only waking once a night) before christmas, then he got a few ear infections, and now it takes 2-3 hours to get him down in the evening, and he's up and down all bloody night. DH and I are going mad with tiredness, as we're both at work 5 days a week (although I'm only PT), so need to be up at 6.30 every day.

He does have a molar coming in, and we've given him calpol for that the past 2 nights, but it's still taking us all evening to get him down.

Routine hasn't changed in the last 8 months - he gets a bath, teeth brushed, into his PJs, book, feed, then into his cot and we pat him to sleep. However, he is starting to drop a nap, although he isn't ready for it - at nursery 3 days a week, and there's too much going on for him to have both his naps. the other 4 days he has morning (45 mins) and afternoon (should be 1.5 hrs, we're lucky if he stays down that long). Bedtime at 7.30-8ish. (DH has just gone up to deal with him tonight)

He is CONSTANTLY twitching and wriggling, and fiddling with our hands, it's like he can't relax or something. Swaddling enrages him, so we don't do it anymore.

Any ideas what we can do? I'm toying with the idea of speaking to my HV about it, but thought I'd check on here first, see if anyone else can help first!

I'm lurking with interest

Bump for you Baz! I knew this was going to be you. I am going to go and sit at the back and lurk with Berry.

Ooh you called me Berry!

I thought it would be too confusing if I called you Baz as well

right, so we've got the 2 Barrys (original and upstart) and Chutes here - shall we wait for the rest of our gang to show up?! :o

So we could have the world's largest collection of 16 month olds that don't sleep?

Me too! DS used to be quite a reasonable sleeper, but had chickenpox a couple of weeks ago and now is really tough to settle. He's also taken to waking for an hour or two in the bleak depths of the night. Really twitchy, fiddly and basically wide awake. Gah! Pleeease let this be a phase.

Mine is 14 months. Also sorted before Xmas.

He is screaming in his room right now. He is just sooooooooooooooooo tired and refusing to feed to sleep, just thrashing about.. so screaming it is.

I always promised I wouldn't go the screaming route but I am losing my mind.

Off upstairs to comfort him now.

My 15 month old is the same, he has the odd good night but is mostly up and down like a yoyo. We are lucky that he self settles with a dummy, I have tried patting/stroking when he is unsettled, but me being there=playtime,no chance of him drifting off.

Not many ideas tbh,I have an idea that it mught be linked to his eating/teething. some days he barely eats anything. I'm hoping it's all a big phase tbh

Janeytroll I think I prefer hourly waking but settling quite quickly to the 'Hey Mum! It's 2AM and I'm ready to PARTY for the next two hours'. My child then bounces on my head for a bit until he randomly rolls over and conks out. I hate it, it is bleak. It's bloody soul destroying as well when DS still wants to get up normal time and is magically refreshed, recharged and full of beans.

found out today he has another/the same ear infection, so we've got a new set of ABs. He leapt out of the cot when we put him down to sleep though, so may have actually knocked himself out [bconfused]

I'm with you chutes - although I'd prefer DS to just stay asleep. however, failing that, I would go for settling when he wakes over 'partay time!' at 3am.

Oh God it is just awful.

It's been 12 minutes. Another 3 to go. I wonder am I doing him untold damage.. but he is not getting his hours and I know he needs them. Also he will never have a sibling if I don't wean him and get my fertility back in order!

I keep telling myself that I have to learn to control my emotions around him kicking off etc.. I want to be strong and firm and consistent but I go to jelly when he is sad. I just want to see his gorgeous smile and kiss his cheek!

I am as soft as shit when it comes to him. How the hell do parents cope when they start shrieking how much they hate you???? ((bites nails nervously))

My DS stopped feeding to sleep around 14 months working9while5, I was gutted - I considered it my greatest parenting tool. I can not claim to be any expert on sleep techniques or my son would sleep but can offer you sympathy. What my partner and I have done recently when DS won't sleep is lie in his room with him, and cuddle him close not speaking, just shushing occasionally. He still howls in a rage but at least we are there. He will stop after a few minutes and go to sleep. Is that worth a go?

ditto chutes - we have had some luck with the lying cuddling him and just ignoring him until he sleeps. also the staying in the room with him whilst he screams approach - it takes many hours, but I read 2 books whilst we let him scream! I wish he'd still feed to sleep.

He gets really angry though and hits us in the face . Or headbutts. I might try it tomorrow night though.. I really don't like leaving him!

He is gone to sleep now. I feel really weird without him down here and just want to wake him up and kiss him lots! God. Always moaning, I am!

DS is asleep. he was a bit weird, but not as manic as the last few nights.

He used to feed to sleep too, until the chickenpox got him. I wonder if this is a common factor? It was one of the loveliest parts of my day! I wondered if my milk supply was dwindling and he's a bit cheesed off about it. He only has a milk feed first thing in the morning and last thing at night. I was very happy with this arrangement, but perhaps it's not going to last much longer.

Of course it doesn't help that his routine involves a bath, which he thinks is tremendously exciting. But this never used to be a problem.

Oh dear. I fear I may be rambling. Crave sleep...

working - DS gets angry and throws things around too, we just stay as consistent as possible, and keep making him lie down. In theory, he gets fed up with it sooner than we do!

Janey, we have the bath = playtime problem too.

Funny that they are all boys, isn't it?!

They are still like it at 21 month old im afraid to tell you. DSD takes around 3 hours to go down often after midnight. She actually gets less sleep than i do, around 7 hours a night and 1hr nap a day! I dont function on less than 11 lol