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Original poster

How do I get 13 month old DD to sleep a little later?

57 replies

Blatherskite · 23/01/2011 20:14

DS was an amazing sleeper, 12 hours a night from about 10 weeks, even occasional lie ins! I always said that we were due a nightmare sleeper next time and I was totally right.

In comparison, DD has always been difficult sleep-wise - Not as bad as some I've heard about on here but she was a year old before we got a full nights sleep. We had got to the point where we were getting 7pm till 6am fairly regularly but recently, wake ups have been getting earlier and ealier again and now we're back to 5-5.30am and DH and I are so tired, we're ripping each others heads off.

We've tried moving bedtimes and I'm convinced now that we've got it as late as we can manage without her being over tired (bath at 6.30, bed at 7pm) Naps have always been bad but we've finally managed to get 2 decent sleeps in a day (about an hour from 9.30am and another 30-40 mins from 1.30pm most days. She does regularly refuse an afternoon nap though) She's close to walking so she's having plenty of physical activity. Food was good but recently, she's been refusing meals, especially dinner. I've been so desperate to get her to eat something before bed, that I've even taken to buying in multiple tubs of the only jarred food she'll eat so I can make sure she's had something before she goes down. I'd prefer her to eat home cooked obviously but I was desperate! She has a quiet room and black out blinds - although it's still pitch dark when she wakes anyway.

I know someone's going to say "ha, up at 5.30, mine wake 26 times a night and I never get more than 20 minutes sleep and they're 12, you've got it good" but we're really struggling. We managed to get into such a massive fight over fitting a stairgate today that my wedding ring is off and one of us will be sleeping on the sofa tonight Sad DS (3.9) is also struggling with being up that early and it's affecting his behaviour at pre-school. He's in the room next door to her so when she starts screaming, she wakes him up too.

Does anyone have any advice? Just another hour in the morning would make all the difference to us I think.

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mewkins · 27/01/2011 19:46

We're having a similar problem but with a much younger DD. I've heard that generally little ones drop to one nap from about a year onwards so maybe that's what's happened, especially if your DD sometimes refuses an afternoon nap. I think morning naps are supposed to be an extension of night sleep so possibly they start waking early knowing that they get more of the same within a couple of hours. Think that's why it's generally the morning nap that goes and the afternoon nap just gets a bit earlier to compensate... I watch with interest as have all this to look forward to in a few months!

Original poster
Blatherskite · 27/01/2011 20:21

She got all mixed up today and fell asleep just before lunch but only had half an hour - possibly because she was hungry - but then didn't need, or want, a nap in the afternoon!!

We're going to have some grotty days while she's making the transition I think. Going to start taking her to activities in the mornings to try and keep her awake and wear her out so she's more ready for a proper afternoon nap.

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Original poster
Blatherskite · 06/02/2011 08:18

It's all going wrong again!!

We've managed to ditch the morning nap completely. I found something for us to do every morning last week - swimming lesson on Monday, Library song time on Tuesday, Toddler Group on Wednesday, Shopping on Thursday and Soft Play on Friday - and given something interesting to do, she didn't seem to miss the morning nap at all. Wasn't grumpy or obviously tired. We did have a couple of times when she dozed off in the car but only for 10-15 minutes. Dropping morning nap has meant that afternoon nap has gotten longer and she's now having about an hour and a half from 1pm-ish. Bedtime is at 7pm as usual.

But the mornings have started getting earlier and earlier again. We had a few 6.15's, then it was 6am, then just before 6am and this morning she got up at 5am!!! Leaving her to resettle isn't working anymore either. This morning I tried going in to lie her back down and settle her and then, eventually just leaving her but all in all, she screamed for an hour and a half Sad

I'm so tired and now she's not having that morning nap and we're out being busy, I'm making myself even more worn down rather than getting that hour of respite. I'm getting so grumpy and it's not fair on the children.

What do I try next?

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Original poster
Blatherskite · 06/02/2011 08:20

Oh and she's become the fussiest eater ever too. At the moment, the only thing I can pretty much count on her eating is a pot of Organix 7 month bolognaise baby food. She rejects everything I cook Sad

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mewkins · 06/02/2011 09:43

Hiya, not sure if anyones already suggested this but could be that your little one is trying to go down to one nap. I think lots of babies do this around the year mark and the afternoon nap refusal points to it too. Afraid i have no experience myself as dd is only 7mths but was talking to a friend about it the other day. Perhaps try consolidating naps and try for one after an earlier lunch and give it a while to settle down? Xx

mewkins · 06/02/2011 09:47

So sorry only just read second page!! Great that tje long nap is happening. Maybe your dd is still adjusting so give it a while longer to settle down? I hate those early mornings too!

Original poster
Blatherskite · 06/02/2011 09:49

I'm just worried that it seems to be getting worse not better. We had a couple of 7am's then it just started getting earlier and earlier! 5am is worse than it's ever been before Sad

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mewkins · 06/02/2011 19:30

I know how you feel we are just coming through a phase of this (touch wood, tho I've probably jinxed it now!!) and it's horrible.

When she wakes up early do you feed her straight away or hold off until her normal breakfast time? I also read somewhere that you could try to do breakfast in the daylight to help reset the body clock or something?Now the mornings are getting lighter you could try giving this a go?

Sorry,I may be clutching at straws here!

ShushBaby · 06/02/2011 19:41

Yep, same here, our mornings got earlier and earlier again, and after waking the neighbours up really early one morning, we no longer feel able to do the namby pamby controlled crying.

Have had a couple of after-6ams in a row which is great. But I'm pretty sure it has been a fluke.

I didn't feed her this morning and she didn't miss it. So I'm going to stop feeding her in the morning at all. (When I say "feeding", I mean breastmilk, not proper food! That would just be cruel!). I'm hoping this will stop her waking up thinking it's time for milk.

Who knows what to do about it? Maybe there is nothing that can be done.

Original poster
Blatherskite · 06/02/2011 19:53

I stopped feeding her at wake up when we stopped breastfeeding. That was at 12 months (when the biting got too much!) so almost 2 months ago now. So now she waits until breakfast.

I've even been waiting until 7am to give her breakfast in the hope that if she never gets food until 7am, she might sleep until then...but it's not working Sad She doesn't seem at all bothered by the wait so I don't think it's hunger waking her up. It's definitely light by the time we feed her. Doesn't stop her waking up in the pitch dark though Confused

Sorry you're going through it again too ShushBaby Sad

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mewkins · 06/02/2011 20:02

it's really weird isn't it how babies get stuck in a pattern? How about choosing what you're going to do (eg let her self-settle or go in and settle her) and then stick with it for, say 5 days? Set a time limit for what's the absolute earliest you're prepared to get up and stick to that. I had to do a lot of reading on this recently and it just said remaining absolutely consistent is the key.

However, I dream of the day that I can train DD to get up and turn on the DVD player so that she can amuse herself for a while Blush

Original poster
Blatherskite · 06/02/2011 20:12

I was doing that. Earliest time I was willing to get out of bed was 6.15 and she was left to self settle...

But this morning she was absolutely howling so I went in to check she was OK. I hoped lying her down would help as I really didn't want her to wake DS - but she did. He was really struggling with pre-school when she was getting up at 5.20 every morning and that one week for 6am starts really helped him.

We'll be doing self settling until 6.15 again tomorrow assuming she doesn't sound so distressed again.

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mewkins · 07/02/2011 19:38

Good luck. Know what you mean - just when you decide on a plan of action something else is thrown in your path eg the howling! Any chance this could be teething or anything?

Original poster
Blatherskite · 07/02/2011 21:55

She woke at 5.40 this morning. Still crying but not the distressed cry of Sunday morning. I left her till 6.15 but in reality, we were all awake from 5.40 so still tired.

We waited until 7.15 for breakfast so it was well and truely light. She had a mini 10 minute nap in the car on the way to her swimming lesson and a nice long hour and a half nap this afternoon. I even got her to eat a good lunch and it was homemade too!! Dinner not so successful but she had a bit. Hoping it was enough to see her through.

It could well be teething. She has the front 4, 1 more top incisor and a bottom pre molar Confused The other top incisor and 3 more pre molars are making huge lumps in her gums so can't be far behind. Maybe when they've come through we can all get some sleep again.

She is sooo good at bedtime now. She has milk, then a bath, pj's and a story and is laid down sleepy but awake and puts herself to sleep without a peep. If only we could get the mornings sorted, it'd be perfect.

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mewkins · 08/02/2011 19:25

I reckon that teething can have an effect on early waking. Our DD tends to be worse just as another tooth's about to break through. Am thinking that although they might not be causing proper pain, the general discomfort is enough to keep her awake in the early hours.

Good luck with tomorrow - hope you have a nice lie in Smile

Original poster
Blatherskite · 08/02/2011 20:16

It was closer to 6am this morning but still no lie in. Apart from dropping off in the car on the way back from messy play, she's refused naps too.

I got her to eat lunch but she still wasn't interested in dinner. I even tried giving her the same thing she'd devoured at lunch but she turned it down Confused I guess I've got to make the most of breakfast and lunch to get food down her - although that won't help with the sleeping. Sad

I hope if it is teeth that they break through soon. The front top one seems very close, I can see the white edge of it through the gum

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mewkins · 09/02/2011 20:31

Not bad! It comes to something when you consider 6am a nice lie in though eh? I also have the problem of feeding DD if she's and just not interested. My mum looks after her 3 days a week though and the mixture of people feeding her seems to be keeping her interested for now...

Original poster
Blatherskite · 09/02/2011 21:19

It was a couple of minutes to 6 again this morning too. She had a long sleep while we went dress shopping for me this morning so no afternoon nap. She ate a huge lunch and quite a bit of dinner too. Took ages to settle at bedtime though, kept waking up and crying.

Wish me luck for tomorrow.

Should get a bit of a lie in on Friday. I'm going back to my Mum's and leaving DH here with the children so I'll be 124 miles away when she wakes up. Might stay there Friday night too Grin

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Original poster
Blatherskite · 09/02/2011 21:20

How are you doing sleep wise mewkins?

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mewkins · 10/02/2011 19:21

You are very lucky having a break!! Well, we had a few good days of sleeping through and me actually having to wake her at 7! However, think she's having a growth spurt/unsettled tummy as she's woken the last few nights for a feed at 3.. for the first time in ages! Last night she didn't really go back into a proper deep sleep after that, more dozing on and off. She is learning to crawl though so think that might be unsettling her as well.

Original poster
Blatherskite · 12/02/2011 16:09

Not that lucky - I had to go back for my Grandad's funeral - but I did enjoy the extra sleep. I woke up at about 7am both mornings but that extra hour and being able to wake up without the sound of screaming was lovely.

She got up at 6am both mornings I was gone so not great, but better than 5am. Guess we still have some work to do to get that extra hour

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PavlovtheCat · 13/02/2011 20:06

Shock just read your OP, and DS is refusing meals recently too, especially evening meals, despite up to now having a fab appetite...

Original poster
Blatherskite · 14/02/2011 13:07

Right, this morning, we have dropped DS off at Preschool, then I took her to an hour long music and movement class and then onto half an hour of swimming lesson. I am tired out so she must be tired too, especially as she took her first ever unsupported steps at the Music and Movement class. Only about 7-8 but all on her own.

We've had a good lunch - her appetite seems to be returning - so I'm hoping for a good nap now so she's tired but not overitred at bedtime.

Pleeeeeaaaaasssseeee!!!

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Original poster
Blatherskite · 14/02/2011 18:19

She had a 2 hour nap!! And I'm fairly sure she'd have gone a bit longer if the Tesco delivery man hadn't rung the doorbell and woken her up. She's had a good dinner and done a few more steps to show Daddy too.

Everything is crossed

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PavlovtheCat · 14/02/2011 20:46

wow! good luck for tonight! DS went down without boob milk Shock that is a first, which means he will wake any moment...Grin I tried desperately to get him to nap this afternoon, DH was out not contactable so could not find out if he napped this morning, we passed like ships in the night at 1:30pm, so DS dosed with milk, but he had 1.5 hours this morning!!1 cheeky boy!