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My son won't sleep in his cot at night

4 replies

darface · 08/10/2005 10:16

Hello i am a mum to an 11month old who for the past month or so will not sleep in his cot at night for very long.
when he wakes his cry is so pitiful like he is scared stiff, it takes a while to calm him. once he is calm i put him back down but this does not last long.
i brought him a night light thinking it might make a difference but it didn't.
however when i put him in bed with me he is better, luckily we have a spare room so me and him go in there to let my husband sleep through because he works long hours.
i don't know what is wrong or what i've done wrong but i need help because i'm not sleeping properly or is he.
my mum tells me he should be sleeping through which makes me feel frustrated, he is very active during the day and only has 2 naps.
any suggestions? please help.

OP posts:
hocuspocusdiplodocus · 08/10/2005 11:18

darface, all of us, babies too, go through sleep cycles which mean that we do "semi-wake" every 45-60 mins right through the night. For us, we know how to settle ourselves back to sleep again, and we are usually not really conscious of having "come to" unless something happens to really wake us up at that point.

However, what I suspect is happening with your DS is that when he has one of these wakenings, he doesn't yet know how to put himself back to sleep - so he wakes up properly and cries for you. If you want him to sleep through the night, then you have to find a way to help him get back to sleep again by himself without needing you.

One way of doing this, but it is exhausting if you have to do it single-handed, is to do the following:

when he wakes up, go in to him and gently lay him back down again, soothing him but not talkingi to him or making eye contact. Each time he cries or tries to sit back up again, lie him down again. It can take many many repetitions at first though, but eventually, I promise you, he will go back to sleep. When he wakes up again, you repeat the process. Trouble is, it is absolutely exhausting to do it on your own. I suggest you wait until your DH has a bit of time off and then do it together.

I would also suggest that you read the Richard Ferber book about babies and sleep. Even if you don't want to adopt the approach of "controlled crying" (which is what he advocates, and it does work, but it does involve listening to a lot of crying) it is full of valuable information on babies' and children's sleep patterns.

Good lcuk! It will get better (I speak as mum of 3 boys none of whom just slept through on their onw).

darface · 08/10/2005 13:00

thank you hocuspocusdiplodocus for your words of wisdom, the other thing i forgot to mention is that he sleeps fine in his cot during the day but when darkness comes it's all over. he used to be so good but is getting worse.
he is cutting his back teeth, maybe this has something to do with it also.
i will try your technique and see how it goes, although i don't like the idea of the controlled crying method.
that would drive me nuts.
thanks again.

OP posts:
hocuspocusdiplodocus · 08/10/2005 18:19

I will be thinking of you! DS3 is now 14 months but has only been sleeping through for a couple of months, so the sleepless nights are still an all-too-vivid memory for me.

Whizzz · 08/10/2005 18:21

Is it the dark thats the problem - you could try a nightlight ? or maybe a new soft toy to cuddle ?

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