crying before every sleep

[CharlotteBronteSaurus]

dd2 is 11 weeks, ebf on demand. she is a very tense, wired little thing (big thing really, she's over a stone).

she screams before every sleep. every nap, every night. for probably 10-20 mins for a nap, much longer in the evening. it's like she won't let herself sleep unless she has not an ounce of energy left. i don't leave her to scream, but cuddle and rock her, as is her preference. she then conks out and sleeps on me. she won't take a dummy or bf to sleep.

i don't mind that she sleep on me, but the screaming is grinding me down. i try and watch for her sleep cues, but they seem to be non-existent . any advice???

thanks for all the ideas.
kaiki, I was really keen for dd2 to have a dummy, as dd1 loved hers. however, dd2 is disgusted at the idea, despite my trying a few different ones. she has never fed to sleep either, even during the night she's not properly asleep straight after a bf, so i guess she just not a "sucky" baby.
she is a "shouty" one instead. oh joy .

I have no advice sorry but i'm reading with interest as we are struggling with the same issue. DD 4 months has been like this from day one!! It's nice to know that it's not anything we're doing wrong and that some babies are just a little bit more challenging than others.

pleasethanks - the midwives in hospital told me at the time that i was making a rod for my own back by holding her till she dropped off - really p-ed me off at the time, what did they expect me to do, leave a day old baby to scream it out?

I read the baby whisperer ages ago, I think these babies are classed as the "spirited" ones...

I do think it gets easier though - for me the shouting was all because she was knackered and just physically did not now how to drop off and fall asleep herself. We are slowly making progress and i swear my DD is now a more relaxed baby now that she can sometimes fall asleep herself (goes in search of large piece of wood to touch..)

sleepless, the midwife who visited me at one day post-partum said the same thing. I was kind of confused as to what she expected me to do with a distressed newborn .

sleeplesssister - it was was the hospital staff that gave her to me to hold as she was refusing to sleep! I could not move to get her, but as she was crying they just marched over, stuck her in my arms and left.

Try putting the hairdryer on OP, it might stop the crying instantly. Does for my DS, and he usually falls asleep soon after.

I had one like this, he cried to sleep AND when he woke for 2 and a half years, just seemed to hate sleeping. He would do this regardless of whether he was in my arms, in a pushchair,car or in bed. He just screamed,it was like he just had to get it out of his system and as he did it for so long and so loudly, we had to just leave him to it, popped him into his bed and turn the TV up. My others never cried, they would just go into their cot and nod off to sleep blissfully.

yeah, she does the crying on waking thing too...i think if she keeps it up when she's a little older we'll just have to accept that she's a grumpy sod sleep fighter, and leave her to it a little bit more.

Yes, my DS did this for ages - until he was at least six months, maybe afterwards. I genuinely do think he hated to fall asleep as he would use anything to distract himself and really had to cry the world away when he was so tired he couldn't stay awake any more. Heartbreaking when you do your best to hit the nap window and give them a good routine, but they do grow out of it. He quite likes going to sleep now, but does wake up often during the night (hence my presence in the sleep thread...). Never tried osteopathy as I was told by an osteopath that the baby kind was bobbins, but lots of people seem to swear by it.

my ds was like this until we got a hammock, now he's 8mo and too big for the hammock we've moved him to a cot about 4 days ago and some of this crying before sleep is starting up again. it was exactly like moonunitalpha says for us, he used to cry and scream for 10 minutes, then in an instant he would roll his eyes up and conk out. i would stay with him and pat him til he was asleep, and being close to him i could make sure his crying was always the pre sleep cry and not something else- when they're so young something could easily change in that time, eg sometimes during his 10 minutes crying he would do a poo and then that would need sorting out before we could try again. sounds like you're doing every thing right.

My DD would always "settle to sleep" with a good cry for around 6 or 7 months in her first year. She cried harder and longer if we picked her up. We quickly realised it was just something she needed to do. She got over it and by 12 months was self-settling without crying. She's 2.5 yrs now and sometimes if she wakes in the night she will moan or cry a little and get herself back to sleep quickly by herself.

Used to be a PA for a cranial osteopath, it CAN be like magic for many. Might take more than one visit..

Also, some crying for some babies before each sleep can be normal (friend who fosters newborns told me that, I used to think the idea was odd, and very worrying. She said some babies need to cry to get to sleep, it's just a sign of tiredness/frustration/not understanding the weird feeling of falling asleep.)

Good luck, I'd try C/O if I were you.

Pleasethanks - I would love to hear your Edinburgh recommendation!