I'm so sick of my life revolving round dd sleeping! Feel like I am doing everything wrong!

[Bumperlicious]

Not after advice really, got enough thread requesting advice. Just a whinge. I'm so fed up with spending my evenings stuck in the bedroom trying to get dd2 down to sleep. I sick of screwing up our day by going out and her not sleeping or staying at home so she can get to sleep. I'm sick of trying yo second guess her all the time. And I am sick of feeling like I am doing it all wrong, like if I do xyz it will help, but I don't know what xyz is or i have to persevere with xyz and in a few months it might help. Or it might not.

Most of all I am sick of not being able to go to bed till she deigns to and having to wake up whenever she does. I'm sick of taking 40 mins to get to sleep when I only have a 3 or 4 hour sleep window.

It's been 4 months. She is my second child. Clearly I am doing something wrong because my mum 'never had any problem getting you all to sleep'.

It's crap isn't it. I am fed up of only having an hour or so in the evening between getting the children settled and having to go to bed myself.

Sleeping through is still a rare occurance and DS turned 2 last month. I'm sick of feeling tired and looking like shit tired.

Its soul destroying knowing you only have 2hrs until they wake and yet you cannot. get. to. sleep. I can feel the minutes tick by when that happens. 'Tis crap

Yy to the evenings. Or else no evening at all, just a mad rush to do teeth and pjs and get to sleep to maximise sleeping opportunity. At which point insomnia hits and I take over and hour to get to sleep! I'm not a great sleeper myself and need 8 hours to be normal, 7 to not want to kill someone. 6 a night is keeping me from a nervous breakdown.

Our mums always say they never had any problem getting us to sleep, like they never walloped us, or threatened to have us taken into care or gave us unhealthy food. I like to call it "selective memory". In other words "lying"

Some of us are blessed with non-sleeping children

This too shall pass ...

Utterly shit, isn't it? I went to bed at 7pm when the older 2 did, fed DD2, put her down, read for 5 mins, flicked the light out and bam, she's awake and screaming. Handed her over to DP, slept with pillow over my head for barely 2 hours, then DP brought her back in as she was still screaming.

She latched on, fed for 2 mins, fell asleep and here I am nearly 2 hours and 2 rounds of toast later, wide-a-bloody-wake, thinking 'well, no point in going to bed now, she's bound to wake up soon'.

Our parents must have selective memories. I mean, I can barely remember how DS slept and that was only 2 years ago.

Actually, my Mum says of DD2, with a little too much of a gleam in her eye 'yeeees, she's just like you, you were a terrible sleeper' as if she's finally getting her revenge on me .

'Our parents must have selective memories. I mean, I can barely remember how DS slept and that was only 2 years ago.'

This is exactly what I think!

Btw, if you stay up you know that will be the one time they have a long sleep

Also the one morning you NEED to get up at a sparrows fart is the ONE morning they decide to have a lie in. And the mornings you can afford a lie in then 5am is apparently breakfast time.

How Do They Know

Bumper The thing I was going to write, but the memory is almost too painful, was that about 2 months ago DD2 slept for 9 hours. For 6 of those I was awake - trying to get to sleep in the spare bedroom, listening to DP snore, giving up, sneaking back into our bedroom where DD2 was asleep, lying there staring at the ceiling wondering where the head torch was so I could read. Just f-ing horrendous.

Mylife - the one long sleep DD2 had today overran into the school run so I had to pick her up and chuck her in the pushchair, waking her in the process. Makes me want to jump up and down and swear like Yosemite Sam.

Have a very Un-MN

I know where you are at, and it is not nice. I wish I had some answers but a) you have heard most things I suspect and tried them all and b) I have done the same and yet have no great knowledge to pass on.

I even got/am sick of the 'this too will pass' mantra!

oh yes, those long stretches of sleep that you are not asleep for. DS slept for 8 hours once. He slept from 7pm-3am. And when it got to 10pm, i did not dare go to bed for I knew he was due to wake up any moment, then the minutes passed and eventually it was midnight so i went to bed, and stayed awake til 1am waiting for him to stir. And, just as it seemed i dropped off, he woke up, and did not settle again for more than 45 mins at a time .

Now, if I am desperate for sleep, i go with him at 7pm Just In Case.

I'm with you bumper (again!). Our dcs are close in age and I'm often spotting your threads and thinking "me too!"

mostly we get 4-5 too short naps a day, ending up all tired and fractious by evening. last night went to bed at 8 with overtired babies (ds1 in bed by 7.30 so after tidying up got about 15 minutes evening time with dp). they got second wind (couldn't go back downstairs because I'd done the bedtime routine) so sat here alone till they slept at 10.30. Now sitting up alone again rocking dt2 for the last 2 hours as he refuses to settle any other way. dp in another room to get some sleep. and it's my birthday. shit isn't it?

All soooo true. I have to immediately go to bed when dd settles as really I need a minimum of 6 hrs to feel human and if I start napping when she does from 7 onwards I am more likely to achieve it! Galls me that I have to hold her till she is in deep sleep before I can put her down for 30mins to 1hr each time. I am torn because I love the cuddles but all I can think about is that she is snoozing and I am awake!

But yeah... I get the I. Must. Go. To. Sleep. Insomnia especially if I had a reasonable night I.e 6hrs in snatched chunks, because I am not drop dead tired- no fair. And yep, mornings I have to get going, she snoozes merrily away...

Luckily she us so young she can't be doing it to spite me and must be just sod's law.

Sorry to all other mummies in the same boat, I wouldn't wish this on anyone, but is reassuring to know I am not alone!

Exactly the same here, take me well over an hour to get to sleep, by which point DH has started snoring and I've got no chance.

The one and only time DS decided to have a ly-in was on xmas day, when we were staying at my Dads and everything was planned for a 7am start as per the norm...

I didn't sleep well at the end of preg either, having to get up to pee every night in my third trimester, so so far I haven't slept through the night for over 9 months...I don't see it getting better any time soon either

Hi Bump,

I am not sure if you are breast or formula feeding but a friend of mine had a very unsettled baby and switched to formula at 3.5 months and baby slept so much better. I know I will probably be crucified by the breast feeding mafia for suggesting that (and for saying crucified!! aaagh but anyway!) and it may well have occured to you already - or you may already be formula feeding.

I remember you from the newborn sleep nightmare thread and really hope things get better soon for you.

Hi bump, sorry to hear things still suck. No better here at Casa Bapula - we're in the throes of 4-month sleep regression hell. DS waking every 1-2 hours, screaming at bedtime, refusing to be put down etc. Fun fun fun!

DH (very sensibly) keeps telling me to go to bed when DS does, which I hate because as soon as DH gets in from work, I want to watch TV spend time with him and enjoy some adult conversation. So our evenings are like an absurd parody of childhood. DH: Go to bed. Me: in a minute, when I've watched the end of this episode of Friends I've seen at least 10 times before.

I also am suffering from insomnia as these days I've only got an hour and a half absolute max before DS wakes me up again. Think my body's just thinking "why bother?".

"My Mum says of DD2, with a little too much of a gleam in her eye 'yeeees, she's just like you, you were a terrible sleeper' as if she's finally getting her revenge on me" - haha lastyears, my mum does that too - never misses an opportunity to remind me that neither I nor my brother slept through until we were two years old, so she had four consecutive years of sleep deprivation

Hope things improve for you all soon ...

parents definitely can't remember, at least my dad is open and says he cant!!

Is it wrong to feel slightly better that its not just me going through this?

No one I know in real life has a baby who wakes every 2 hours, wont sleep without someone with them, or has made their mum start going to bed at 8.30 just to get enough sleep...

I feel your pain

Hi Bump, I've got 3 DCs (the last one is 14 weeks so similar age) - DC2 was a nightmare sleeper but is now fine. Not much to offer but copious amounts of tea and sympathy Also we live in the same area (remember this from other threads!) so if you ever want to meet up for real tea and sympathy then I'd be happy to do so :)

My dad says he remembers thinking that my sister would NEVER go to sleep but my mum says he's making it up. Based on the fact that my sister is generally difficult I reckon my dad is right and my mum is the one with the selective memory.

How old are they when they start being able to be awake for more than 90 minutes without getting grumpy? I'm looking forward to that day so that doing an activity doesn't require an entire day's strategic nap planning (that never works anyway). I'm also looking forward to the day when they have an attention span of more than a minute and can play by themselves. Was at baby group today and a 7mth old was playing with a single toy for an hour with a look of complete fascination on her face. DS was crying and refusing to be distracted with any toy. Sigh.

Thanks for all the sympathy & sorry for those going through the same thing.

Restrained rabbit, would be good to meet up. Will pm you when I am not on my iPhone (or pm me, as I am likely to forget). Do you ever go to Cribs? We could meet at the village cafe, I've become quite partial to their cakes :)

Love the dh telling you to stop watching Friends and go to bed count! Similar thing here.

Pavlov, have you recovered from your shower screen accident?

I do go to cribs! Going this Thursday but meetingcat cafe also a good plan - yum!!

Ah! I've been occasionally, not for a while though. My Nct thing is on this week at the same time. Do you go regularly? I may go next week so we could meet before committing to coffee (you may think I'm a twat in person). I usually go to Baps in Chelt as it's my old stomping ground. Do you do any other local groups?

Oh Bumper I've been to BAPS in Chelt a couple of times...