22 months suddenly not wanting to sleep, waking lots and screaming if we leave room - don't know what to do!

[allyfe]

We have a 22 month old toddler who has traditionally slept reasonably well. She would wake up occasionally in the night but went down with no problem and Would go back to sleep easily. She was ill over Christmas and since then it has been horrible. We tried control cryinp but the first night she threw up, and it has been awful. It got a bit better but has since gotten worse.

We don't know what to do to get her sleeping better again. We don't want to her to end up hating going to sleep, which is what we seem to have at the moment. BUt we also need her sleeping better. We also have a 10 week old and the combination of both is exhausting us.

I am currently sitting on the floor outside her room, whilst she talks to herself and me. SHe knows I am here but is saying mummy now over and over. SHe wants me to engage obviously, so I know that at some levels me being her is keeping her awake. But I just don't know what else to do.

Any advice on ways of getting her to sleep that don't involve screaming would be great.

We've just introduced a night light with m 23 mo, might that help? Take her to choose one herself, maybe a new 'sleepy time friend' like a teddy or a glow-worm thingy (if they still make them!) A CD of lullabies playing softly in her room?

You have my sympathy, especially with a 10 week-old, you must be at your wits' end!

We went through some of this with our DD a few months back (now 2.5) and it got so bad over Christmas that I started going to bed with her and co-sleeping in our bed. Which just made things worse!

DD was also screaming to the point of throwing up, but would then grin as we came running to clean her up. So we would let her scream, but then when we heard her start retching would run into her room and say very calmly and firmly "No, stop it, don't do that", which seemed to work.

Having managed to get her back into her own bed since the new year and sleeping through for the first time in 12 months, our current tactic for getting her to sleep is to read a story and then rub her back and head until she has almost dozed off. We then whisper that we have to go downstairs for some made-up reason or other, but will be back in five minutes to make sure she's okay. We leave it 10-15 minutes (sometimes she grizzles but not screams) and then pop back up. Usually she's asleep, but if not we rub her back a bit more and then pop away again.

The other thing is that our DD is currently outgrowing her nap, so we don't manage to get her to sleep until 8-8.30pm. Attempts to get her asleep before then, unless initiated by her, are futile. Perhaps you need to cut back her daytime sleep a little so that she is tired out at bedtime and can't help falling asleep?

Good luck x

Thanks so much for your suggestions. She does have a night light and a lullabies cd, but she has had both from a few months so they are not a novelty. She has teddies in the cot but has not one particular favorite. SHe cuddles different one. We will see if getting one particular teddy helps.

Mum295 I love the sound of your system. She is settling better with us sitting outside her room but obviously this can't last. I think your system will be a good next step. When she was screaming I just wanted to cuddle her and take her stress away. Your method sounds lovely and gentle. Fingers crossed. We also decided we should reduce her nap time.