Hi everyone
please give me advice if you can. my lovely 8 mo ds is in general a really easy going lovely baby - we have a good routine and he eats really well, 3 solid meals and dropping the bottle feeds gradually, although i dont really know what im doing and i suppose it seems like thats going ok. from what i have read, i think i must have reinforced negative sleep associations by popping the dummy in when he was in the crib next to our bed so he would go back to sleep when he cried quickly, and he is now in a little room off our bedroom, about 6 foot from my head - he wakes up about 5 times between 12am and 6.30ish and he yells till i wake up and get up to put the dummy in. i am beyond exhausted,. my husband and i have not shared a bed since he was 6 weeks because if we both dont sleep he wouldnt be able to hold his job down. its getting to the piont where we really need to be able to share a bed with our ds in the other little room. ds naps well - from what i read, i should be concentrating on the long nap being after lunch, at the moment its more likely in the morning, could that be the problem? - and goes to sleep fine too.
what do people think - i am at my wits end and my relationship is not in good shape - should i just go cold turkey on the dummy (so useful sometimes though!) do controlled crying (bit scared to do this,and is it the only/ best way to teach him to self soothe?), in which case how the hell do you do it, or just grit my teeth and get through this. or i have read about winkling out the dummy every night so he doesnt fall asleep on it, might this be better?
any / all thoughts appreciated, alhtough i know lots of people feel very strongly against controlled crying but i cant help thinking that id be a better mum if i wasnt a zombie without an intimate relationship.
all the best