Please tell me it gets better :(

[NinjaTurtle]

I have a 20 week old DD. From three to fourteen weeks, she suffered with colic, she also has reflux (and is ff). When the colic was bad ie, she would scream for two hours a night on average, she would go down at aroun d 10pm, wake once, and often lie in until 10am. Fast forward six weeks and she is awful at night. She goes to bed at 8pm or just before usually, sleeps until midnight, although she sometimes stirs before then, and I have to put her dummy back in for her to go back off. After she has fed at midnight (she doesn't always finish the feed) she seems to wake quite a number of times between midnight and 8am.

She actually only feeds twice in the night, but wakes several times on top of this. She sleeps for short spells during the day, but won't fall asleep on her own, she has to be either in her pram or the amby hammock, even then, she usually cries before she goes off. She naps for around 20-30 mins, although she sleeps longer if out in the pram, or car. I know there isn't a magic cure, just hoping for a bit of advice/reassurance that it will get better.

I'd grab hold of the observation that 'she sleeps longer if out in the pram or car' and work it.... Rain or shine I'd have that pram or car circling the block for a few hours a day just so that she slept for a nice long time. If she's overtired because she hasn't had much sleep all day that might affect how she sleeps at night.

Whatever you do, it does get better. By the time they start school most of them can make it through the night . Good luck

Ahh never fear it does get better mine is 11 months and has been sort of sleeping through the night for the last 5 weeks,she does have the odd stir (i awake to her pulling my hair)i had abit of a hard time with the sleep for the first 3months she would only sleep on me or in the car so did the teatime drive around the country lanes just to get some peace,in the end i found the only place she was truly content was in my bed so thats how its stayed,i still wake every 3to4 hours but am hoping that,ll sort itself out one day

Ahh never fear it does get better mine is 11 months and has been sort of sleeping through the night for the last 5 weeks,she does have the odd stir (i awake to her pulling my hair)i had abit of a hard time with the sleep for the first 3months she would only sleep on me or in the car so did the teatime drive around the country lanes just to get some peace,in the end i found the only place she was truly content was in my bed so thats how its stayed,i still wake every 3to4 hours but am hoping that,ll sort itself out one day

It could get better by iteself or, I don't know, you might have to do something to make it change. I spent ages on my babies sleep very early on because the sleep deprivation was driving me mad (my DS never settled after a BF so I was awake vitually 24/7). From about 6 weeks I woke my DS up at 7am for his morning feed regardless of what has happened in the night, having put him down at 7pm - if he woke before 7am I'd settle him back to sleep, even if that meant standing there in the dark like a loon with a dummy in his mouth. I always dealt with any night feeds without any talking, eye contact and in very dim light. Oh, and I put him in his own nursery at 9 weeks. I probably sound like some evil Victorian mother but he now sleeps through the night, never wakes before 7am and goes off like a top at 7pm. They'll sleep 12 hours in a stretch so if you wake your LO at 7am every morning eventually, as I found, they'll be dropping off at 7pm no problem. Good luck if you decide to just see what happens - different things work for different families/babies.

Oops, sorry - my post's littered with spelling mistakes. OK, so I do still have a bit of sleep deprivation - LO has a cold and is teething at the moment...

The reflux is at it's worst at 4-5 months, so you are in the middle of that I'm afraid. What are you using? It may be worth seeing if the doctor can alter you medication.

But even with the reflux, it does get better! It takes a while but it really does get better.

Hang in their, and go see the doctor.

I agree with Jules, it might just get better on its own but I think ou probably need to use some techniques to make it get better. My first sounds just as you are describing, the colic, the inability to fall asleep herself, needing the dummy etc.

I got to a point where I thought this just can't go on, I was terrified of her ended up a bad sleeper forever and me still posting on the sleep thread on here when she is 5 or 6 or something (and me being a zombie by then!!).

I read a few different books and the one I felt comfortable with was The Baby Whisperer. I followed the advice to help them learn to self settle and saw results pretty much straight away. Like Jules I stuck to a 7am-7pm day, always got her up at 7am, even if it killed me. Anything before 7am was treated as 'night time' and this meant no eye contact, no talking, no lights on. She still had a dummy, but once she was sleeping through and had learnt to self settle herself in the night she didn't cry for me to put it back in.

For daytime naps I pretty much cancelled everything for a week or so and spent all week helping her to settle for her naps. The one I really concentrated on was a long lunch time nap, as this is the nap they will still have for a long time. Whilst it was still nap time ie. from 12.30pm to 2.30pm I treated it just as I would night time.

I won't lie, it wasn't an easy or fun week but she learnt to sleep and now at 2 she is still utterly reliable sleepwise sleeping 12 hours at night and 2 hours at lunch. I honestly don't think we would have got there if I hadn't spent all that time changing her sleep habits.

I second what Chil said, DD 19 weeks is the same, If she doesn't get 2 or 3 decent naps in the day of an hour or more she is a nightmare at night. I take her out in the pram up to 3 times a day which is a pain in the arse but it's better than dealing with a cranky baby. Also when i bring her in, if she's still asleep i park the pram in the kitchen with the extractor fan on and she tends to sleep a bit longer. I find if i don't do that she wakes as soon as i bring her in. I know that in the long run this isn't going to help but for the time being it makes life a bit easier. I am however intending to sort this out nest week, we have a rocking chair in her room so next week im attempting to try and get her to sleep whilst rocking her in the chair and transfering her to her cot. I have a feeling that it will be a long week and much patience will be needed but i'm determined to make it happen.

Also DD has reflux and was recently put on Ranitidine, which has helped so much. She is much more comfortable and happy.

Hi, sorry for the late reply. Thanks for all the replies though. She's been on ranitidine since she was around 6 weeks, the dose has just been upped to match her weight. I've also just started weaning her (on advice of doctor due to reflux), I perhaps should have mentioned this in my op. She is still getting the same amount of milk as before, it's early days at the moment. It seems to be a fine line with daytime naps, if she doesn't sleep enough, she's more difficult at night, same as if she sleeps too much, if we go out a lot in the car for example, she will sleep much more. I'm currently going with the flow, which is quite tiring, but she doesn't get up until 9am most mornings, even though she wakes several times before this.

I'm thinking that this may be an issue in itself, maybe I should be starting to get her up at 7.30 and trying to enforce some sort of routine, I'm just not sure how I'll cope with the tiredness initially, I am on my own, so have no help during the nights. I am also considering co sleeping, as she will be getting too big for her Moses basket soon, and the few nights I've tried her in the cot she has been even more unsettled, and manages to turn herself round in the night and bangs her legs on the mattress and wakes herself up. Has anyone had any success with co sleeping to help an unsettled baby?