2 year old won't sleep alone. I need help

[LilBB]

My dd is 2 years 3 months. She always slept well until recently (a few months). She wont go to bed without a huge fuss and wakes in the night for no obvious reason (although she always wants a drink). I've tried controlled crying, rapid return, sitting in her room but not responding to her and changing her cot to a bed. Although it takes time (sometimes 3 hours) to go to sleep she does go to sleep in her room but she always wakes in the night and will not settle. As we both work and have neighbours I end up bringing her in our bed. Once she's in our bed she sleeps but I don't sleep well. I really need some help. Has anyone else been through this and found something that works? Is it just a 'phase'? Should I be using a sleep technique when she wakes in the middle of the night too? I'm seriously thinking about putting a sofa bed in her room and just sleeping in there.

I feel your pain :(

DS is 2y8m. Was a great sleeper from really early on, would settle himself no problem. Occasional blip if ill or we went away but generally sleep was GOOD!

We moved house 5 months ago, and I moved him into big bed. Went fairly well, although was waking early for a while. Then started to not want me to leave him before he went to sleep "cuddle mum, cuddle". I started to stay with him as he got very upset. He usually falls asleep fairly quickly so not too much of a problem (like the chance to lie down tbh!).

But in the last 8 weeks has started to wake through the night and come into our room to get into bed with us. Partly he was ill at first, then I realised his room was quite cold. So I figured this was a phase I needed to ride out... so I take him back, get into bed with him, he falls asleep fairly fast, if I can I remove myself and go back to bed, only to be repeated again X2, 3, 4 a night. I too have let him sleep in our bed when DP away, but not enough room when he's there (at least 2 cats on the bed usually too!)

He has a truckle bed, so sometimes I have just slept in the bed below, but then he wakes up and gets into bed with me again, and I end up in his bed and the musical beds starts again... .

I wonder whether it's a wee thing? DS still in nappies, but goes on the potty at night before bath, so starting to be aware of toilet activity, and I wonder if he wakes when he wees? He is also language delayed so it makes getting to the root of the problem harder?

I'm clinging to the fact that this IS a stage and when I can be sure he'll get the idea of a reward chart I'll use that to persuade that staying in his own bed is a beneficial idea... .

You may not be sleeping well once she's in your bed because you're pissed off, worried that it'll go on forever, tired because you've already been up with her loads before 'relenting' and you're fighting it.

What she's doing is normal. it's not biologically normal for children this young to not sleep with their parents. They get insecure. She needs to feel secure. Let her sleep in your bed from the word go, IMO. Then I bet you'll find she'll start being happy to start in her bed in a while as long as you promise she can wander in in the night when she wakes...or you may get away with trying that anyway. When she's old enough, you'll find she spends more and more whole nights in her own bed.

The more you push her away, the more she'll push to be with you, because she's feeling insecure. Go with it and the phase will last far less long than if you fight it.

I have the same problem with my son who is 2yr 2mnths. He used to be a great little sleeper until a couple of months ago when he started waking during the night. It started with just crying so we settled him with a bottle of milk and that did the trick but he then started getting one of his legs over the side of the cot so we decided it would be safer to put him in his own bed.
I thought this might stop the waking as he had a bit more freedom and he has a couple of toys in his room so should he get up he could just play without screaming the house down, how wrong was I!!
We have tried controled crying but he just stands and throws everything over his baby gate including the bedding and with 2 other kids that have to be up for school its hard for them. We have tried going in and immediatly laying him back down but he won't stay in bed. I'm at my wits end now and at a total loss as what to do for the best but I now dread bedtime because you can guarentee at 3.30-4 in the morning he will be up.
Do I give in and put a bed in his room just so we can get a decent nights sleep?

Sounds familiar! Our 2.5 yo was a great sleeper until recently. Now she wants us to stay with her all the time. At first, we thought it couldn't hurt at bedtime, because let's face it, having a lie-down for 20 min isn't that bad! However, she started waking at night too and then it's much less comfortable to be lying on the floor instead of my own bed.

Anyway, I always have trouble falling asleep afterwards, even when it's DH who gets up. So we decided enough was enough. Now we stay with her for "5 min" (which is variable, could be up to 15 min) but we leave while she is still awake. She always gets up, and then we escort her back. After 3 times we hold the door closed. She cries, but it's the sort of crocodile tears that stop the instant you open the door. So we persist and eventually she stays in bed and falls asleep.

If you're starting with a child in full tantrum, definitely stay until they're calm, but try to leave and come back for successively shorter periods each time. I think the key is that fall asleep on their own, or they expect the same service in the middle of the night.

PS I agree with NewImproved that it may be a wee thing. Last night she did not wake up and her nappy was dry this morning -- she had a big wee before she went to bed (and stayed there).

I wonder if it is a wee thing too. She slept quite well last night and had a dry nappy. Perhaps it's something that happens as they are getting closer to potty training? I hope it is a phase. I don't know anyone in RL with this problem. Don't know if its just me but it almost seems taboo to admit your child has any sort of sleep issue.

Am listening to dd scream right now and feel a sim
ilar way but don't think it's linked to toileting as dd is only 18 months. Am loosing the plot as i'm so so tired could have written ur post myself.

I have the same problem with my 2 year old son he will only go to sleep if I sit with him, but then wakes up a few times in the nite when he realises I am not there anymore gets out of his bed and cries at his stairgate . I have now when he wakes put him straight bk into bed and sit again till he falls asleep but I cud end up doing this maybe 2 to 6 times a nite. Am wondering if me sitting with him is the wrong thing to be doin as he is getting used to it and can't fall asleep by himself.

I feel so relieved to read other parents having same experience as me! Then I've realised that most of these posts are from 2011 - please tell me what happened?! Did it get better, was there anything in particular that you used or did?

Catherine 2114 - how are you getting on?

My little girl is 2 and a half and has never been much good at going to bed willingly. She will do the wash/teeth/PJ's/story but as soon as we get to the bit to snuggle down and switch off the light she goes wild! She brings out every excuse under the sun just to distract and delay. She focuses on trivial things (a book/picture/toy) and cries when they are out of reach. She asks for the impossible (go outside/go to the library) and gets very upset when they are not available.
She roams around the room looking for something to use as a distraction. She sings songs, wants to play games, plays her own imaginary games.
Either me or my husband sit with her. We've tried not responding to her requests, or just minimally responding, this just makes her more frustrated. We've tried 'popping out' on a pretense but she also gets very vocally upset, which subsides the minute we return. When we're in the room it doesn't really help as she's constantly asking for something, repeatedly.
This goes on for about an hour, until she finally relents, closes her eyes and drops off.
She has slept through the night occasionally but usually she wakes up 2 or 3 times. About 6-8 weeks ago I could get her back to sleep in about 10 minutes each time, without too much fuss. But for the last 2-3 weeks something has changed and now she's more awake at these times and won't go back to sleep, even with me soothing her, holding her hand. After a few nights of being kept up for 2 hours at a time I got the camp bed and slept next to her. This worked a treat, but not practical for more than a few nights.
Me and hubby have standard double bed and not enough room for all of us.
What to do?