Awful night with 4 week old last night - how to stop it happening again tonight?

[yellowflowers]

Last night our 4 week old wouldn't sleep anywhere except on me - she screamed house down if I put her in moses basket even though she usually sleeps okay in it and had done earlier in day. last week we all had a virus and for a few days afterwards she was uncomfortable and only slept on her side as this seemed to alleviate her wind, but for the past few days she's been back to sleeping on her back and in the moses basket. She was cluster feeding on me - just a few mins at a time then sleeping on me - but just wouldn't be put down though at 7am my dh took her downstairs, gave her some formula and then she slept in the pram (not a moving pram, just the pram downstairs in the living room). When I had offered her formula upstairs though she refused it. Temp of room was fine and can't work out other reasons for discomfort.

What to do tonight to get her back into sleeping in moses basket? Some nights she won't be put down until about 2.30am - her active phase even in the womb was about 10pm-2.30am, but last night it was all night!

Also what she seems to hate most of all is having blankets on her (though she wouldn't settle without them) but she is too small for a sleeping bag - I think she would slip inside them (she isn't up to birth weight yet).

Please, advice...

If you're very worried, this could be one for the GP. It could be something really simply like a sore throat from the virus that is making feeding difficult, for example. Or it could be that she's still got excess wind when you're putting her down. Good luck

Take her to the GP - maybe she's coming down with something? Or a growth spurt. TBH 4 weeks is tiny and not uncommon for them not to want to be put down at night.

Was she slightly upright in the pushchair?

Have you tried swaddling?

Isn't this normal for such a tiny baby? My dd is now 9 weeks and I remember this (vaguely) as being pretty much the norm for the first few weeks. Sometimes OK, sometimes screams the place down unless sleeping in your arms!!

Try swaddling? Try a dummy? Lambskin in the moses? Rocking base for the moses? ipod in bed!!!!
Also, make sure she's well rested during the day as I find our LO is a nightmare if she's overtired.

We are now using a 'woombie' as she wakes herself with her arms but it gives more freedom than swaddling.

Good luck tonight!

This sounds pretty normal tbh, my son is now 4 months and I shudder every time I think of those first few weeks. I slept on the sofa and the only place ds would sleep is on my chest, I took pretty drastic measures and used to prop myself up with cushions everywhere so ds and me couldn't move and wrapped a blanket around us so he couldn't slip off, I watched bad twilight hour tv to pass those hours and would look forward to the sun coming up because it all seemed better in the day for some reason. The early weeks are hard going. I found that ds was struggling with reflux, I propped up his Moses basket so he was on a slight incline, swaddled him and changed his formula to a comfort version, worked a treat. It will get much easier soon!

We tried swaddling and it did work for a while so give it a go. We have a similar problem whereby my DD prefers downstairs to upstairs .

We have allowed her to sleep downstairs in the pram or moses basket for some weeks now as she has had a bad cold and has been restless and won't disturb the rest of the family downstairs. We have been propping up the head of the pram/basket so that she isn't completely horizontal as her mucous is bad. Now that I am trying to get her into the crib upstairs again I see that it is not going to be plain sailing.

What is wrong with her bloody crib???

daisy have you tried her pram upstairs to see if it's that she prefers? Could there be a draft near her crib? Different temp? Different noises?

I don't think there is enought noise! she seems to like the tv and conversation etc. I think she feels too cut off upstairs.

I may have to make it warmer upstairs as I think the sitting room is pretty warm.

Can you leave the door open so noise travels? Or have the radio on low - something like radio 4 as it's mainly talk?

Thank you for all the advice. Last night also awful but my parents have helped today so I am a bit more rested and full of resolve about not picking her up immediately so giving her time to settle. But mam2be that sounds like me so will try the incline thing tonight.

It is only when we are in bed. She is downstairs with us the rest of the time.

or another thing that sometimes works is to put the moses basket/pram top in the crip/cot (if it fits)

raise the cot at one end (I use my old Next Directorys)

And with DS2 I would wrap my worn t'shirt/pj top around the mattress for him to lay on as he also only ever wanted to sleep snuggled up to me!

soccerwidow that is such a great idea about the worn t-shirt! I would never have thought of that. Not that I have the problem of mine only falling asleep on me - but if I did, I would try that in a flash

yellowflowers congratulations on the birth of your daughter. i was wondering if you had had your little babe yet! i was lovelymonster on ttc grapefruit thread. my little man is 11 months now and life is better than ever. it gets better and better so hang in there, before you know it you will have smiles and it makes it all worth it!! well done you!

Yellowflowers - not sure what to suggest but we're going through nighttime hell with our 4 week old too, and wanted to post - you're not alone! Not that it helps. I co-sleep with mine and he is very, very unsettled with wind at night or whenever he's lying down. Last night was appalling - he was awake most of it, just refusing to sleep. Hope that propping up the crib will help you. Don't be afraid to help him to settle in these early weeks though - 4 weeks is still tiny and his nerve endings and neurological connections are still forming - he's meant to want to be reassured by your nearby presence! (not that mine seems to want to sleep even in bed next to me at the moment, grumble...)

Dr Harvey Karp's Baby Bliss book is brilliant when it comes to unhappy newborns who don't do sleep. Among other things he recommends swaddling and using white noise to sleep. The swaddling worked at first for us, but when he was a little older he'd wriggle out of it, so we ended up using baby sleeping bags that were tight enough at the neck and arms for our baby to safely sleep in (and he was tiny). The white noise worked amazingly well and still does - try googling Slumberbear. Really recommend it, it's a box in a teddy bear thing which plays an actual recording made of the inside of a uterus. It plays for 5 minutes at a time and it's activated by noise or movement. It was amazing the first time we used it, the screams ceased immediately and he was asleep within a couple of minutes.

Hi angiebops - thank you. We both graduated!!! To think we were both so worried we would not have a baby. And look at us now.

Thank you all for all the tips. Two nights ago she did two stints in Moses basket - 1am-3am and 6am-9am -and last night was great with Moses basket from 1am-6am and 7am-9am.

I don't know if this is what did it, and of course it could all go tits up tomorrow, but I have been picking her up and saying calmly that I will give her a cuddle but then she must go back in basket to sleep and after a few times it works. Obviously she doesn't understand my words but maybe the tone? Also I am learning to recognise her different cries so if it is a non hungry or non distress cry I can leave her and half the time she will settle herself. Early days but am full of hope...