16mo waking for 1.5 hours in night

[cornflakegirl]

DS2 is 16mo and has never been a great sleeper. We are night-weaning at the moment, and he seems to be fine with the fact that he's not getting milk, but he's having trouble getting back to sleep. He's happy to be lying down in his cot, as long as one of us is holding his hand, but doesn't seem to be dropping off - last night it took 1.5 hours before he was finally properly back to sleep (though there was a point around the 1 hour mark where we thought he'd gone, and DH left the room, only for DS2 to wake up again a few minutes later).

Is this normal? How can we help him fall asleep faster?

Holding his hand might be the problem. You see it as comforting but he could be finding it too stimulating having you in the room ... He's obviously tired and it could be that you need to just leave him to it and let him quietly relax by himself. Even if this means he makes a bit of a noise to start with just check on him to make sure he's OK and then leave him for 10 minutes to settle.

Thanks for the suggestion, but I'm not prepared to do controlled crying yet. I'm not a fan in general (although it might come to that), plus he screams the house down if we leave the room, and I don't think it's fair on him or on the rest of the family trying to sleep.

When we first started night weaning, we thought it was going to be okay. He was all right with us just repeatedly telling him it was time to go to sleep and laying him down when he stood up. Then he started needing a hand on his chest to calm down. Then he started grabbing hold of the hand, and getting really upset when we tried to let go.

He is pretty stubborn in general, and noisy if he doesn't get his own way, and I don't want to give in to him at night just because he's noisy. But he sounds so upset, and if it's hard for him to get used to sleeping by himself all night, I don't want to make it worse by leaving him alone when he's upset...

Hi Cornflakegirl, we're going through a very similar thing with DD (15.5 mo) at the moment, even down to the hand-holding!

I've no advice I'm afraid, but wanted you to know that you're not alone... :)

I've posted on this a couple of times and a kind MNer suggested buying a Fisherprice touch & glow seahorse - which is now ordered! So I'll let you know if that helps at all.

I'm totally against control crying too, I couldn't bear it, so am really just hoping that this will pass quickly. One thing to suggest is to offer your DS some water when he wakes in the night? If he's used to being fed then he might just be a bit thirsty?

Could it be just a phrase (sp?) because you are nightweaning? Its a tough one as its so easy to end up with them coming in to your bed at night, just because you want to get some sleep. Does he have a comfort object, like a favourite teddy?

Huff - thanks. Think I may have come across one of your other threads - please do let me know if the seahorse works. We have been offering water - he took it at first, but doesn't seem to want it most of the time now.

mama - I'm hoping it's just a phase! I don't know if it's just because of the nightweaning - he was starting to become more restless in bed with us too. Unfortunately, he doesn't have a comfort object, nor will he suck a dummy or his thumb. I really wish he would - but every time I try to tuck a teddy between us during his bedtime feed, he chucks it straight on the floor.

"But he sounds so upset"

Just check this. Sounding upset and being upset are very different. Small children have a restricted range of loud sounds at their disposal. Are there actual tears when you go back in is the expression more 'annoyed'?

Chil - it usually starts out as frustration / annoyance, but then the noise just escalates and he seems to find it hard to come back from there.

I did try not holding his hand on Friday night, and no hand on his chest either (because then he just grabs hold of it). I was just talking to him and lying him down when he stood up. After a while he had screamed so much that I could hear it was hurting his throat. When he stood up again, I told him that if he stopped crying, we would have a cuddle (something we do in the daytime so that we're not rewarding him shouting for attention), and he did stop himself crying quite quickly and after a brief cuddle he went to sleep (with me holding his hand) quite quickly. I think he'd just worn himself out. But I'm not sure how to get him to calm himself down without my intervention.

As an aside, I had been wondering if he just wasn't tired enough and needed to drop his daytime nap. But he skipped his nap on Saturday (apart from a 5 minute catnap) and still took 50 minutes to resettle when he woke at 5.30. So I guess it's not that.