Toddler refusing to eat, then waking hungry

[BertieBotts]

Getting so fed up with DS (2.3) - he will refuse his dinner, and then either not be able to go to sleep (as in I'm spending 2 hours trying to get him down and eventually he sits up saying "Toast?") or he'll go to sleep but then wake up around 4 hours later wide awake and hungry.

If I can get him to eat within an hour or two of bedtime he's fine and goes to sleep within about half an hour of being taken up, and sleeps through.

I've tried spreading the food out over the evening. Also tried giving meal earlier and giving supper. It's so hard to judge because if he's in a refusing food mood he just doesn't want to eat anything and if his last food was too early he's just impossible to get to bed.

I'm also worried that he's taking this as a free ticket back downstairs because he's always been a small eater and I've always felt so bad about him not eating (had an incident with HV last year who said I had food issues and was starving him :() that I take any opportunity that he wants to eat and encourage him. However he does always seem genuinely hungry on these occasions when he's asking to come back downstairs.

He always seems to pick the days when we have something to do early the next day as well

Anyone? I feel like I'm always waking him and he's always desparately trying to sleep longer to catch up :( He's been asleep since 2pm, I tried waking him half an hour ago and he just keeps dropping back off on my lap, he's obviously still tired. And yet if I let him sleep now I know he won't sleep tonight. And then still try to sleep about 14 hours to catch up. It's so frustrating.

We have dinner around 5.30 then weetabix and hot milk just before bedtime, which is at 7.30.

DD has been a fussy eater and a bad sleeper in her time and it has helped us. It's part of our bedtimw routine now.

Instead of taking him back downstairs, could you just give him a banana or something in bed, lights low, no chatting?

Thanks latrucha. I have tried cereal but not weetabix as DS doesn't like it. Starting to think maybe do main meal in the middle of the day and sandwiches/finger foods for tea so he can have a stream of something to eat?

I don't know how that works logistically, MUA - I'd have to leave him to get the food which would mean he'd get hysterical standing at the stairgate screaming. And then when he gets like that he starts tantruming and if I offered the food he'd probably throw it away and say "Don't like it!" I suppose I could wait for the end of the tantrum though, it's just by this time I am usually frustrated myself and it sounds like it would take a lot of patience doing it that way.

Yes. We also have our main meal at lunch, but that's because we're half Spanish here, so I didn't mention it before.

If you want to pursue Moonunit's idea, what about Ella's kitchen pouches, or the like. Could keep a couple in the bedroom, easy and quick to feed.

Could always just take a banana to bed with you.

Oh yes that would make sense. I will try that, thank you.

Have an early lunch, then nothing else until supper time, and make sure that he gets really hungry. Then hopefully he will wolf down his supper because he is so hungry. Give him a supper that is low on the glycaemic index which might help him go through the night.

It isn't easy doing this because they get to upset waiting for the food, but just think that you are being kind because he and you will benefit from a good nights sleep.

Agree about having a main lunch and then try not to fill up with snacks in the afternoon (easier said then done in my house!)
If my DD is not in the mood for eating at tea time then I will suggest putting her favourite programme on tv and eating whilst we watch it together. She often eats loads more as the focus is not on the eating - if that makes sense! I also sometimes make some toast which she and I share when we are having our bedtime stories.

Good luck - let us know how you get on.

I've had some success with being stricter about meal and snack times and not letting him eat at all outside of these times. Also I looked up the average hours a 2 year old sleeps on wikipedia and I can now predict about when he is going to drop off, which helped me to feel more in control.

He seems to be waking up consistently at any time between 6 and 8 am which is much improved :) it really helps keep to things when he wakes up in the mornings. Thanks for your suggestions, I think I will take a banana up to bed with us if he hasn't eaten much of his dinner.

Glad its going well!