I've never taught my daughter to go to bed!

[Wishiwasavampire]

Hi every one hope some one will advise. My baby is 16 months old she dosnt have a set time for bed time. She falls asleep when she wants and I have to stay awake until she falls asleep. She wakes in the night and won't sleep until I put her in to our bed. None of this is my idea know what I mean!! I think she needs to go to bed at 7.30 every night and let her cry until she gets used to it! I also think she needs to be put back into bed each time till she gets used to it! I don't know another way of doing it. Does anyone know of a better way? Thanks

A wind-down bedtime ritual is a really nice way of solving this. If you make it a regular sequence of calming activities starting about 7pm then your baby starts to associate them with feeling sleepy and finally ending up in bed, warm, happy, comfortable ... and asleep! Bath, warm milk, dim lighting in her room, a softly read story, a lullaby etc... then say goodnight, smile (v important to look happy and relaxed throughout rather than give any hint of nervousness on your part) and leave. If she makes a noise at this stage leave her for 10 minutes or so before going in and repeating goodnight with a smile and then leaving.

If she wakes up in the middle of the night check that she's OK if she's making a noicse but repeat what you did before leaving it 10 minutes between checks. It takes a bit of getting used to on all sides & it's tiring for the parent but it should click eventually. Good luck.

have a look at these pages:

www.thesleepstore.co.nz/Sleep+Information/Toddlers+and+Preschoolers.html

I use them all the time. I don't think it is too late. Good luck.

I'm in exactly the same boat wishiwas, Not helpped by DP who thinks 10pm is playtime! will be watching this thread with interest.

You need a set bedtime and a bedtime routine IMO.

For my 1 and 3 year olds, ours goes like this...
6.15 Milk for the little one. DS used to have some too but he doesn't want it anymore. Warm milk can help you sleep.
6.30 Bath. I run a nice, warm bath for them both and we spend 20 minutes washing, cleaning teeth and quietly playing with some bath toys.
6.50 Bed. Wrapped up in PJ's, in bed with soft lighting, both DC's then get a quiet, calm story, maybe a lullaby and a cuddle, then they're laid in their beds, we say "Goodnight" and leave.

Most of the time, they've either fallen asleep half way through the story or are so close that they fall asleep when we leave. Sometimes they'll cry or call out. Then we do as Chil does - 10 minutes to allow them to self settle and if that doesn't work (or the cry seems distressed) we go back in. 12 month old gets shushed and patted until calm again then left, 3 year old gets told "Bedtime Sweetheart" and then left again. Repeat until asleep.

It might take her a while to get the hang of it but as long as you are consistent and firm, before long you'll be collapsing on the sofa, child free at 7pm ready to watch some telly too

Thanks everyone I won't be able to try till the weekend because ds number 2 has college. I'll be sure to let you know how things are going