11month old sleep training advice/reassurance needed

[Southwestwhippet]

my 11month old has never really been a good sleeper. She is BF and we co-sleep so it wasn't too much of an issue but I would like to start encouraging her to spend more of the night in her cot.

My DP is currently around (he works away most of the time) so we have had some success with me putting her down at 8ish then him resettling her at about 11pm. For two nights she didn't come in with us until after 3 which I considered progress. However, she did get quite upset when DP was resettling her because she wanted me (well, milk TBH). She shrieks and screams for about 15 mins in his arms before dropping off which is really hard for both of us to listen too and makes me doubt if we are doing the right thing.

She has also become more and more difficult to get to sleep in the evenings. I used to BF her to sleep then lie her down in her cot but recently she won't go to sleep whilst BF so I end up putting her down awake then sort of swaddling the blanket over her with my hands and bouncing the mattress gently. She usually cries for a while then goes to sleep. I am not prepared to leave her to cry, I always stay with her but it is really upsetting me that she seems to be crying herself to sleep each night. At night when she does come in with us, she is feeding A LOT, almost constantly and now she has top teeth I don't like to doze while she feeds as she sometimes slips and bites !

I feel as if she is in the habbit of needing to be feeding in order to sleep, particularly at night. She has recently learned to sign 'milk' which she accompanies with a singing sound that represents 'milk please'. During the day, I always respond by feeding her but if in the evening or at night I gently say "no, sleeping time now" she becomes very frustrated and quite hysterical, shrieking, crying and thrashing around.

I HATE listening to her cry and I'm starting to really doubt myself in not just letting her feed if that is what she wants. She is normally a really happy little girl and this nightly battle to get her to sleep is really distressing for us all. Is this just something I have to go through or am I doing the wrong thing?

Bumping for you; we are dealing with a similar situation except my 11 mth old has not been fed during the day for the past 5 weeks and goes down in her cot during daytime naps. I am planning to wean her off the breast around her 1st birthday but wish to do things gradually. I too prefer to stick around while she falls asleep although I regularly have to leave the room for max 4 mins as she will not settle with constant gentleness.... sigh. I am with you on the non-stop bf during the night.

Hello SWW,dd is 1 on Wednesday and we had THE WORST NIGHT ever last night. Up every 1.5 hours, wanting milk. Has recently developed a very, very special 'I'm definitely dying' scream. Definitely a growth spurt, I literally can not fill her today. She's just eating her way through the kitchen. But I can't feed her every time she wants it during the night, or I actually might die. My plan today is going to be to just keep stuffing her face with noodles, cheese, fish fingers and ham - need to go to shops soon to restock! Hopefully that will help. As your lo is a few weeks younger it might not be this. As for the settling, dd cries to sleep some nights and not others. I have hardened myself to it. She never holds a grudge or seems in any way damaged or less loving the next day and she def settles more quickly if left for a little longer (longest ever was 10 mins). All the best. x

Thanks for the support, nice to know I'm not alone.

Well last night was "night one" of the new 'only one feed a night' regime. Basically, she gets a feed when she leaves her cot and comes in with us but not again until morning. Hoping this will boost her appetite during the day and encourage her to sleep better when in with us. Was anticipating a nightmare but she was actually very good about it. She settled well in her cot and didn't wake until 1:30. DP bought her to me and I fed her then she went to sleep in with us.

She woke about 5 times (which is about usual) and asked for milk each time but I gently said no and turned her away from me whilst cuddling her close. She cried each time in a disapointed way for about 30secs then went straight back to sleep. A couple of times I offered her a drink of water from a beaker.

Has given me confidence that she def wants the milk for comfort rather than nutrition as she seemed reasonably happy to settle for a cuddle. fingers crossed tonight is ok too.