Premature baby

[mangosteen]

Hello, is there anyone out there who can relate to me. My baby was born 9 weeks premature, and came out of hospital after 6 weeks. She is now 3 months old, but only 4 weeks past her due date. She never sleeps. Last night she slept from 10pm - 12 and that was it. It is now 3pm and she still hasn't gone down. This is normal. There is no routine what so ever. She doesn't sleep at night and hardly during the day. I don't know how she can survive on such little sleep - I can't! Is ther anyone there who has had a premature baby and experienced such difficulties. There seems to be such little help or advice with regards to premature babies. Thanks x

I had a prem baby, but by the time she was home she was indoctrinated into a 4 hr routine. My advice, since she clearly isn't sleeping enough is to look at a book like Gina Ford to get an idea of the amount of sleep and a routine that you can try to follow. I am not advocating you follow GF advice to the letter, but I found her useful in telling me how much sleep and food I should be aiming for. In prem babies they usully get a really strict routine in hospital so I just followed this, however it sounds really desparate. One other tip that didn't occur to me is that if they are not sleeping sometimes they just want to be alone, I know it is hard and I am not saying controlled crying at this stage, but I found if my baby made a murmur I would go to her, which meant she woke up, or was stimulated and it ended up as a viscious (sp?) cycle of no sleep.

Try to put her down, and leave the room if you can.

Last tip, swaddling, wrap your baby up in a lightweight blanket so its arms and legs cannot wriggle much. This gives it a sense of security.

I hope some of these ideas work as I am sure the prematurity isn't the reason your baby is not sleeping.

I can't relate to the premature baby experience but what do you mean she doesn't sleep ? Is she put into a cot in a dark room at some point ? The less they sleep the less they want to sleep. You are in a vsiscious circle which - personnally - I would seriously tackle... i.e. work on her sleeping better and not socialising for a few days to get it sorted.
Darkness help, some babies love to be swaddled on in a sleeping bag, maybe put a music or mobile. Some mum swear by those light/music things.
BTW I am NOT advocating control crying but that doesn't mean you can't get her to sleep.

Mangosteen, my sister had a preemie also and when she came out after a couple of months, her schedule was a mess, then she had her days and nights mixed up. My sister ended up keeping the night dark (even if the baby was up) and the day lighter, although not bright (even if the baby was taking a nap) -- more like the hospital she was in. Also, I think she had to realize what Crunchie mentioned, that just because she made a sound, it didn't mean she needed comfort (it took a while to recognize the difference between crying and normal noises, though).

These are my memories from 4 1/2 years ago. Mainly she followed the normal advice and adapted it to what the baby was used to (eg, a bit of light and noise during the day, the darker, quieter night).

If it's any reassurance, once my niece got her schedule straight, she was a great sleeper.

I too had a 9 week prem baby and whilst she wasn't a brilliant sleeper at first she wasn't as bad as your dd sounds! If it's any help to you we decided at night time (ie between about 9pm and 6am although it did lenghten as she got older) she would be put in her cot or in our bed in the bedroom - she didn't come out of the bedroom, the lights were always out or very low and the only things I would do with her was feed (obviously), change (if necessary) and walk round with her - so low stimulation. I really found feeding her lying down in bed helped as it was more restful for me - however she may need to be on a pillow to do this - I think my dd would have been about 3 or 4 months when I started doing this.

Thanks for everyones tips. Crunchie, like yours, she was on the 4 hour routine when she came out of hospital, but the first day home it went out the window. We tried Gina Ford. At first it worked really well during the day, but then she would be awake all night long, and wouldn't stick to anything. It was too exhausting for me as well. We do swaddle her. I have tried leaving her to cry, but she seems to cry herself into a frenzy which wakes her up completely. Admitedly I have only ever left her cry like that for approx 15 mins at a time. Maybe I need to be harsher. she just does't seem tired lots of he time.

thanks for your support

Can totally sympathise my dd was born 9 weeks early too and I had a difficult time with her. I think prem babies are more difficult, they are fine in hospital it's when you get home. Have you thought about some white noise like a radio low as they are not used to sleeping in the total quiet? The only other thing I can say is stick with it, it will get easier my dd used to wake 2 3 times at least every night but now is a really good sleeper. In the end I had to let her cry a bit but not until she was a bit older. Just try and stick with a routine where you can but I found it impossible to stick to a rigid routine like GF until she was quite a bit older.

My boss's daugter was a prem baby. 8 1/2 weeks. she also had her day and night mixed up and poor boos came into work shattered. She tried to kept the nights as dark and uninteresting as possible, while the days were lighter and she had more interaction. It did take awhile to wean her off the attention seeking (SCUBU to blame for that) but she did settle into a routine which made our lives a lot easier. Happier boss

The hairdryer and the hoover used to work for my dd - 5 weeks prem. She slept through from about 15 weeks, and if she did wake, we'd leave her for a little while to see if she really was awake. She also used to love lying tummy to tummy with me, as I think it was reassurung, almost like being back in the womb. But it's all just phases, and as soon as you think you've found a solution, then things change again - luckily!!

Poor you! My 2nd baby was 5 wks early, but he slept normally - but none of my 3 children slept through till they were 2 so I do understand about the torment of sleep deprivation (it's not a form of torture for nothing!). Have you spoken to your Dr/HV/midife? Can you get relatives/friends to mind Jr while you get your head down? I'd expect a baby to sleep for at least 16 hrs a day until they were 6wks past their due date, its not normal so push the professionals for help and advice. Try www.premature-babies.co.uk too. Good luck! Believe me, its not going to last forever.

I had a 5 week premmie baby. When we got home from hospital I went straight to GF, but he was never asleep by 7pm - more like 9pm. He didn't really learn to put himself to sleep till he was about 4mths. He would wake one time in the night, but sometimes I would be up for up to 2 hours with him. I support the sleeping on your tummy solution for getting them to sleep, when they are quite small. I was actually quite sad when he got too heavy for me to do this. Mind you I did find myself pinned to the lounge for periods of time during the day or waking up with a cricked neck in the morning from him having crept up further on my chest.Then I went through a fairly long stage where the only way to get him to sleep in the evenings was to bounce with him on one of those Swiss Medicine balls (not sure what you call them in the UK). The afternoon walk with the pram worked fairly well, as did the walk in the baby bjorn while he was still not too heavy. Of course then there is the car when you are quite desperate.

I hope things improve for you.