Help - 5 week old will not sleep at all :(

[meepymeepmeep]

My 5 week (6 on Sat) old DS literally never sleeps - he doesn't nap, wants to feed constantly, is very happy and wants to gurgle and coo one minute and the next is screaming. Is it normal that a baby will not sleep at all through the day - he maybe does a 4 to 5 hour stint at night and will sleep if he goes out in the pram or car but other than that will not settle at all - we were out today in the pram and he slept but as soon as he gets home he is wide awake!

Swaddling worked a week or so ago but now he just cries :(

He was doing ok a week or so ago, by no means sleeping like I read that he should (12 - 18 hours) but a few 2/3 hours naps through the day and a couple of 2/3 hour sleeps at night.

He feeds well, is gaining weight etc but just won't sleep! I had him at the GP who gave me infant Gaviscon for him thinking he may have silent reflux as he grunts a lot when in his crib but the only difference has been that he seems a bit constipated.

I just don't know what to do - he looks so tired and I seem to now spend all day either feeding him (is he maybe hungry - he is EBF and gained 11oz last week).

Any ideas if this is in anyway normal or ideas as to what I am doing wrong?

Help!!

If he's happy awake then go with it. He will nap better as he gets older.

If he seems tired, cranky, miserable - or twitchy, glassy-eyed, shouty and hyperalert - then he needs you to help him nap. Long walks in the pushchair will help, as will a sling (so he can nap while you potter around), but mostly don't let him get too tired or he'll be even harder to get to sleep.

He sounds very alert. You have my sympathy - but I'm now on my second highly alert baby and they turn into bright, funny children it seems, well worth it!

so he is sleeping 4-5 hours in 24 hours? doesn't sound like enough no. Your not doing anything wrong! babies are just weird have you tried rocking/swaying with him? What about setting up for sleep is the room dark/dim and quiet?

some babies like white noise although i have no idea what that is

is he screaming a lotmaybe in pain/windy/colicky?

hope he settles soon for you x

Also investigate sources of discomfort - reflux is a possible, but things like oversupply could cause wind, discomfort and sleeplessness. Very alert babies have more difficulty getting to sleep anyway, discomfort makes it impossible.

I had something a bit similar with DS now 20 weeks so I can still remember the horror of it all but only dimly :) which must be a good sign. I introduced a routine (which is a dirty word to some I know) baby whisperer worked for me basic idea is eat, activity, sleep so feed him, take him for a walk and then put him to sleep.

It's tough for the first few days but the more sleep he gets the more he will sleep. I only kept up the routine for about eight weeks we've settled naturally into him having three-four naps during the day he goes to sleep at 8:30pm feeds at midnight and then will sleep through to six or wake up at four feed again and go back to sleep till 7:30am.

Sling is also a great idea always puts my ds to sleep.

Thanks for the replies - yes I rock him, sway him, sing to him, make sure room is quiet, dimmed and cool - he will just not sleep! He is so obviously overtired and its heartbreaking too see him not able to go off but nothing I do seems to make him sleep - more walks required! I have a Bjorn sling but its doesn't seem comfortable - could anyone recommend one that would help?

My words of wisdom probably going to make you tear your hair out in desperation but...

I read your OP as 'he is foinf a few 2 or 3 hour naps during the day and a couple at night.' Plus sometimes a stretch of 5 hours. This is GREAT! You think he is not sleeping, but he is. You just don't realise because it is not in the way that would be most useful to you, ie a long stretch at night. When my DD was that age, I remember weeping at times because she 'never slept' until loads of people pointed out to me that when they visited, she was asleep! I didn't appreciate the naps when they came and they weren't long enough for my liking. I recently said this to a friend who told me her baby never sleeps when the baby was asleep in the moses basket in the same room as us! She did see the funny side and had to admit that for a baby of a few weeks, it wasn't so bad.

The more they sleep, the more they will sleep. So if baby sleeps in the car, in the pram, bouncy chair or on you, go with it for a couple of weeks. If baby is given enough opportunity to sleep she will find her pattern. Good luck.

This too will pass.

Kari me or Moby are the best for tinies who need a lot of carrying. I don't mean to worry you but the best advice I got was from a MNer who told me to forget everything else for a week and just concentrate on getting him asleep any way I could. Once the overtiredness settles sleep comes easier - so don't worry about this teaching them to selfsettle crap - just get him in the sling and walk all day if you have to. It is better than the fever pitch crying for hours each evening because the tiredness is too much for them - we endured 5 months of that and it was tough. You'll get there :)

Just want to clarify as you're here, OP. In your post, did you mean a few 2 or 3 hour naps and sleeps at night or two-thirds of an hour naps, ie 40mins? If the former, your baby is sleeping between 10-15 hours a day, perfectly normal! (Not normal for us, but normal for them) Keep walking and take a magazine and a biscuit with you, when my DD finally went off to sleep I used to sit on the nearest park bench and grab 20mins peace!

Again thanks - Serendippy - he WAS having 2 or 3, 2 to 3 hour naps and two half decent 4 or 5 hour sleeps at night - now he has a half hour nap (maybe 2) during the day and one stint of 3 or 4 hours at night, some days a total of maybe 5 or 6 hours in 24. Stickersarecurrency and Gracie - thanks, happy to take a week out to sort out sleep, sounds like a plan - good advice, appreciate it :)

Sorry meepy, my mistake. Write down every time you see him with his eyes shut, he may be grabbing 10mins in his bouncy chair or on his playmat! Do anything you can to get him sleeping, car, buggy, sling, with enough sleep the overtiredness will go and you can have a shot at getting some pattern back.

Night night

Meepy - I've got one of these - huuuge sympathies. He is 14wks now and a bit better but still a handful. He was a nightmare very challenging at 5 weeks.

Stickers is right - he needs to catch up and you need to help him tackle his sleep deficit. Sleep begets sleep. Try not to let him get overtired - my DS can only cope with 75 mins awake before he gets cranky. Trying to soothe him to sleep then rather than 10/20 mins later makes all the difference to how quickly he'll settle. Definitely devote a week to it. Let him sleep in the sling, the pram, on you - whatever it takes. Ignore people who tell you he must only sleep in his cot.

I have a weird but effective way of getting DS to sleep. Swaddle tightly with arms in then rock/pace in front of a detuned radio. Maybe a bit of shushing, patting or singing too. Usually sends him off within 10mins.

They have a big growth spurt at 6 weeks and I remember DS being particularly unsettled/insomniac around that time.

That said, he has been v screamy and sleepless today and I've really been struggling myself so I don't have a magic answer for you. Encouraged to hear these sorts of babies turn into bright kids!

I'm sure it will pass.

Just seen that you've tried swaddling - DS cries a bit when I swaddle him but I sort of try and tough that out as it does seem to keep him calmer in the long run and help him sleep.

Oh I just want to give you guys a big hug (or a glass of wine and a big bar of chocolate). Really, people haven't a clue until they've got one like this. I'd be getting advice to put DS down sleepy, walk him round the block then park him in the hall, and let him watch a mobile and I'd be thinking these people must live on another planet because it was so ridiculous to even consider any of that working. I am on number two now - I think she's 15 weeks ish - and she's very similar but I spotted it early and dealt with it by doing naps-by-any-means. Though she still only sleeps for 45 mins at a time and doesn't like to be put down, but she's mostly happy and I know she'll soon start to sleep for longer spells. It was so hard to hold on to that and have perspective about these tough months with my first though. Hang in there :)

Stickers - did your first learn to self-settle eventually?

Your post rings so true. I talk about DS's sleep ishoos every time I go to the HV. Have been told to put my milk on his sheets, read him a story, wait for him to get drowsy (he just doesn't do drowsy - it's either bug-eyed awakeness or unconsciousness).

Today the HV told me to do controlled crying on him. Aside from the fact he is clearly too young for it, and I'm not sure I believe in it anyway, I'm convinced it wouldn't work. He cried for over two hours in my arms today without ever falling asleep so can't see that he would do if I left him to cry alone :(

Meepy, sorry to hijack - really hope things improve for you soon.

Yes, he's now 3.5 and goes off to bed like an angel. Don't be tempted to look at my current thread about his constant wakening up though - just don't! I think basically we were so protective of his sleep and fearful of doing anything which might disrupt it, we didn't recognise when he was becoming more able to cope and so we've actually gone too far the other way and made him reliant on company at night. You guys have years to worry about that though, cross one bridge at a time!

If I can think of anything else I'll come back, but a sling was my number one weapon, closely followed by my boobs and tv with subtitles

Yes, I have a Close baby carrier on its way from Amazon as we speak ...

I think you have to train them to get into a good sleep pattern because it doesn't come naturally to some. If he sleeps in the pram, for example, then schedule your day so that you go for a good long walk morning and afternoon. Once he's in the habit of sleeping at those times he'll be more likely to nod off at home of his own accord.

Looks like you've got some great advice so far but thought I would add what worked for me. My DS is now 13 weeks and changed about the same age yours did to being wide awake most of the day.
We also stopped swaddling as he didn't seem to like it but went back to it as once we finally had him calm it helped him stay asleep - there was nothing worse than spending ages getting him to sleep then him waking himself up with his arms. Bouncing on a gym ball with him in the carrier or our arms also worked quite well and is less tiring than pacing around. He would only settle in the babybjorn for my DH at the time so I couldn't go down the route of using that but I've since started using a Wilkinet carrier which works for naps.
He also fed continuously sometimes and I think he was comfort sucking. He wouldn't take a dummy but would suck my little finger until calm and asleep.

I think the most important piece of advice I got on here at the time was the assume they need to sleep after 2 hours of awake and just keep trying. Watch for yawns and start as soon as you see them as well.
Not sure I'm qualified to advice as we're still struggling with his sleep but he is having his first nap of the day now and went down fairly easily (sucked my finger to sleep - putting him down drousy still seems like a dream to me). It's actually been reassuring reading this thread that other people have similiar babies as I still worry I'm doing something wrong (normally after meeting up with my antenatal group and their amazingly sleepy babies....). Also pleased to hear the bright kids comment!

To be honest Chil, IME I only turned things around once I'd abandoned all the advice about sleep patterns etc. These babies become so chronically overtired and hyper that no amount of scheduling helps. With my first, it got so bad I didn't get up when he woke in the morning because he got so tired so quickly that he was ready for a nap right after waking. I had to stay in bed and feed him back to sleep. He didn't fit the mould of needing a nap 2 hours after waking because he was so very exhausted he was sleepy immediately.

I would agree with stickers. I actually came back on to post that while the assuming DS needed a nap after 2 hours was a good starting point for me, once I started watching for yawns I found he can only really stay up for an hour at most especially in the morning.

Always tricky using a word like 'schedule' round here :) My point was that sometimes you have to make them go to sleep whether they want to or not. Once over-tired it's hell on wheels so you can't afford to let them get that far. If being outside in the pram means the baby goes to sleep then, when you want them to have a nap, get the pram out... If being in the car-seat does it...take them for a drive. I said 'morning and afternoon' because that's what it usually settles down to.

Yes, I definitely agree about having to accept the pushing/driving as a part of life for a wee while. I think though that it's not about avoiding overtiredness with these ones, because it's already everpresent. Advice to avoid the unavoidable can be a bit soul-destroying! I got some fab support from a MNer called Tipex, and if you search for threads by her or ChubbyScotsBurd you'll see what I'm talking about.

Indeed, all very true. Unfortunately DS no longer feeds to sleep, and hates both the pram and the car

He does seem to like our new sling though, which is something. Have beem roaming the rainy streets today trying to get him to nap. He appears to have lost all ability to fall asleep in the last day or so. Think it might be the dreaded 4-month sleep regression ...

Thanks everyone, some brilliant advice and thank goodness I am not alone - I got him ready and out super early this morning and have walk walk walked all day - he is now having his second 3 hour sleep which for him is brilliant - fingers crossed this is him turning a corner - I have also ordered a Moby. Count - good luck with your DS, its not easy I know but its somewhat reassuring to know I am not alone. Stickers and all others - thank you so much for taking the time to respond with really helpful info. Now fingers crossed for some sleep tonight:)

I think you've cracked it :) Well done. Get him into the habit of enjoy long naps and he'll thrive on it.