cant cope with this. pls help

[graciem]

1 yr old ds just wont sleep. he has 1 half hr nap in the day n goes to bed as soon as he is tired. only sleeps for half hr n then is up ready to play for 3hrs. i tried controlled crying for one night n the next day ds was ill wit croup so dont feel confident to do it again. nothin will settle him n he is happy wen he is awake but this goes on till 11.30 n im at the end of my tether with it. dh will help but sometimes ds wont have him. any suggestions or advice would b great.

Didn't want to leave this unanswered. Sounds like bloody hard work! It is really hard to settle an ill baby so don't worry about going back on your plan when this happened. I don't co-sleep as a general rule but on the odd occasion my DD woke and thought it was playtime I got into my bed with her and just lay there. That way I knew there was nothing wrong with her, even if she cried, and she knew that I was not going to fuss.

Worked for us, might be worth a try? Sure someone else will have a few more ideas.

You must be shattered.
What worked for me was.. after usual routine ( bath, drink, story)I would put DS in his cot and then sit in a chair in his room not making eye contact. If he cried I said "Mummy is going to go if you cry, but if you lie quietly I will stay".. So I would sit and knit endless scarves in the half light by the door to his room. If he yapped I would go and leave him to cry for a few mins before offering another chance. Eventually he got used to going to sleep without me. Hope this helps.. It does get easier.. honestly

could you try and bring forward the first nap and allow just a half hour nap? Then allow an hour nap 3-4ish, then he will be awake for 3 hours until 7 when it is bedtime?

many sympathies, my dd was a dreadful sleeper as a child so I found many ingenius ways to get her to sleep. Thankfully at age 3 she sleeps much better :)

My DD didn't sleep through and reasonably until she was 14 months old - I was on my knees with tiredness! She was still sleeping in our room, so we moved her into her own room and geared ourselves up to do CC, at a time when we had a good run at it so we could still function if it didn't work. I also stopped bf her at night and sent Dad in to settle her so there was less reward for waking. Little monkey protested briefly the first night, shouted 'no' once on the second then slept through....
I did find though that it helped to ensure she had plenty of stimulation and exercise during the day so that she was properly tired at bedtime and also had something to eat/drink a little while before bed so she wasn't waking up hungry.

What time does he go to bed "as soon as he is tired" ?

Agree with Beamur - it's not easy but give yourself time and it will work. My DS had never slept through a night by 15 months of age and when we did this it wasn't easy, it took us about a week of him crying (and me crying quite often!) but we were committed and DH and I stuck together on it.

Once through this he has slept brilliantly ever since.

Good luck.

thank u all.
pinkicequeen he is always ready between 6-7.

crispface there is no getting him to have a second nap, he just wont go.

thank u wizzler mite give that a go, just dont want him to scream n wake big sis 3.

thanks for the replys. wish there was one quick fix. lol

Not an unreasonable time then graciem, try the controlled crying, it is a killer, but it really really does work, give it a week, you need nerves of steel and a big box of tissues (for your tears not ds's lol). It worked for me, and everyone I know that's tried it.

thanks pinkicequeen. it always does seem to come back to cc. will work towards getting them balls of steel. lol

I would wait another half hour for bedtime, bath him, then tuck him in, do his story and settle.

If he wakes, rather than some controlled crying methods, you could try (when he's not ill), to do the leaving him for only 2 mins at a time.

If he cries, wait 2 mins, go in (don't chat to him), put your hand on him/cuddle if necessary, then leave and say "good night".

Wait until he cries again and repeat. After half an hour, he shuld settle and then it'll get quicker each time.

Get your Dh to do it if possible - he'll tend to play him up less.

My ds2 quickly learnt he had to amuse himself if he was awake and didn't get a response graciem. He would sing and dance in his cot, cute really, even if i felt like meany mcmean at the time. He's 10 now and still enjoys a good 12 hours! Ds1 now 16, well, that's a whole different story!! Can't get him awake and out of bed, a different problem altogether.

We used to sit with DS in the evenings when he went to bed. We took turns with nights, and would just sit there in the dark until he finally fell asleep. Gradually we were able to leave him sooner and sooner, until we could just put him in bed and tuck him in and go. Think he was about 18 months before we could do that.

He was still BFing in the night though, and we didn't nightwean until he was 21 months.

There are other options than CC, but they do take longer. CC wasn't for us though so we were prepared to wait it out.